Just as we were parking the car after coming home from dinner, someone approached from the street and asked for help. As is normal when someone approaches unannounced out of the darkness, especially with my children there, I am a bit defensive. So I immediately place myself between the stranger and my family and size up the situation.

A young lady was asking for help. After a quick scan to make sure things were as they appear, and the old spider sense not kicking in, I decide to help her. To be safe, I shoo my family in the house first. Plus it was kind of chilly out. And yes, it can get chilly even in Hawaii. We live up a hill and it gets cold there at night especially this time of year. I guess my family felt pretty ok about her too. My wife made coffee for her so she could warm up, my kids came out and kept her company. As it turns out, her motorcycle died on her as she was driving down the hill. So she did the safe thing and turned off the main road and ended up on our street. Since jump starting didn't work, my daughter (age 6) offered to pay for her repairs. She even invited her to sleep over if she needed to. Needless to say, we were all surprised. As we spoke, we found out she has been in Hawaii for only three months and she is an MP.

I offered to have her bike towed for her, but she was going to have her roommate come and pick her up. I ended up driving her home. And when I saw her using her cel phone as a light while trying to get her bike to work, I gave her a flashlight to EDC. She made it back later with her roommate. Good news is her bike is now working and she is hopefully safely home.

Now that's aloha spirit. Kudos for helping. Yes, it's a shame that we have to keep deception and crime in the back of our mind whenever dealing with strangers these days, even when helping out a lady. Your daughter sounds sweet.

"MP"? Military police? Member of parliament?

I'm guessing they don't have Members of Parliament in Hawaii. MP is a standard abbreviation for Military Police (aka Redcaps, Meatheads, and probably a number of other popular and unpopular names).

Mahalo Guys.

I am trying to figure out how to curb my daughter's enthusiasm. I don't really want to but there is the safety factor too. We have already had the talk about staying away from and not talking to strangers, not to go anywhere with strangers or even people they know unless mom or dad say it's ok, etc.

But I think my kids think that if mom and dad are talking to someone, then they must be ok.

Any suggestions for a protective papa?

Good for you. Ya gotta do what feels right sometimes. But, I got the first ticket in my life, many years ago, from an MP on Ft Ord, using a remote radar speed gun on a really deserted road. Nuff said 'bout MP's...

It seems to me that everyone has to be a bit leery and practice the basics of physical security when out and among the population and certainly when attempting to help people.

It won't help anyone, and may encourage victimizers, to be made a victim.

That said I think there is lot to say for helping anyone you can if it can be done in relative safety. In part because it helps maintain a society that is open and helpful. You assist someone and it makes you feel good. It also demonstrates that most people can be trusted on most things and most are willing to help others as long as doing so doesn't involve slitting their own throats or putting their loved ones at great risk.

A bunker mentality where nobody trusts or helps anyone is exactly the type of societal structure I would like to avoid.

I'm reminded of a story about a group of rough looking but well intentioned bikers coming across a car that had stopped running on a dark, lonely road before cell phones were common. The driver was alone and a young female.

They realized that no good can come of a lady all alone on a remote road on a cold night. But they also realize that if they rode up and try to help directly they were going to scare the fudge out of her. She might even panic and run into the surrounding woods.

How do you help if your large and rough looking? How do you ask for help if your large and rough looking? How do you help without getting hurt? I don't know that there are any easy answers. I do know that if we don't want become a bunch of bitter and angry people we have to go out of our way to help people and to assure them that they can trust us on the big issues.

I think that to help out others whenever you can without compromising your personal safety* and especially that of your family, you just do it. But you have to be mindful of your surroundings and the situation.

While driving, I usually don't stop, but call 911. Getting out on the road can be a very dangerous thing. Response time is pretty good. If I see somebody hurt trying to get out of their car I will probably stop to try and help.

* There are times when risk to personal safety is probably required. For example, I once saw an elderly lady faint and fall into the road into oncoming traffic. I ran onto the road to get her off it. The dead weight of an unconscious person is pretty unwieldy, so I mitigated my risk by risking another pedestrian. I yelled over to him as I was running out to the lady to come and help me carry her off the road. There is a lot of power when you point to someone directly and say, "YOU! ..." After we carried her out of traffic, I pointed to a guy with a phone and said, "YOU! Call 911!" Especially when you look them in the eye too, there is no mistaking you are talking to them.

Anyway, I am going off track. It's good to do something good for others without regard for your own reward. Because the rewards WILL come. Even if it is just a good feeling. Just be careful.

"I got the first ticket in my life, many years ago, from an MP on Ft Ord, using a remote radar speed gun on a really deserted road."

And how many tickets do you think you GAVE, during your career?

Sue

"...how many tickets do you think you GAVE, during your career..."

Quite a few. Not as many as I could have, not as many as I should have (at least according to some of my supervisors), not as many as some co-workers gave, but quite a few. But NEVER for going 10mph over a prima facia speed limit on a deserted road where there was only one vehicle for miles and miles...

Some tickets are deserved, others are just another form of taxation.

Sue