John,
i'd like to be able to say I know how you feel, I'm sure everyone would, there is however no way we can , this is a very private thing you are going through and all we can do is listen. Good on you for being brave enough to share this with us. At the best we are all folk who have something in common but, indeed we are all strangers and letting a bunch of complete strangers know your most intimate worries must be hard. What I would like to say though is I wish you all the best and have no doubt you will fight this all the way.

All the best for the future

Dave