Hey Folks,

I am struggling with making a major decision and thought I would ask you kind folks (especially those in Fire/Rescue/EMS-both career and volunteer and retired LEOs/Military) for some thoughts on the matter.

I have been involved with Fire/Rescue/EMS since 1978 when I became an EMT-A, but became inactive couple of years latter when I got married and started a family. During the first Gulf War (around 1991), there was a shortage of Fire/Rescue/EMS providers and decided to reactivate my EMT status, I also completed Firefighter III and got involved with Technical Rescue (rope, trench, confined space and swift/flood water), which has become my passion. I became an ALS Provider in 1995 so I have been involved on that side for 12 years. Over the last several years our ALS Service has gone from 100% volunteer ALS Providers to 97% career ALS Providers and while I still ride occasionally, it is nothing like what I used to ride years ago.

I am just finishing up the FEMA Structural Collapse Technician class – 86 hours/plus (final written and practical tomorrow night and Saturday), which has been every weekend (with the exception of Thanksgiving weekend) for the past month-plus. As you can imagine this has placed great strain on the family, trying to get household chores completed during the week and still have some family time. During this same time period, my Paramedic Refresher Class was held and I ended up missing it for the Structural Collapse Class. My National Registry and State license come due this March/April and if I decide to maintain my ALS status, I need to find (if I can) a 48 hour Paramedic Refresher Class plus 16 hour ACLS Class before the end of February.

If I down grade my EMS level to EMT-B, I know I will never have the energy or desire to re-sit for the National Registry and State Licensing exams again. So my question is this: How do/have you deal/dealt, emotionally and mentally with retiring (giving up) from something that you worked so hard to get and has been part of your life for such a long time?


Pete

In 1999 had been in law enforcement for just over ten years. I blew my knees out while chasing a man thru a patch of woods. I caught him but it was the last bust I made as a police officer. Being a police officer was my life’s dream and I loved my job. I dealt with the loss of a career I loved with the help of an old partner who retired shortly after I did, and with the love and support of my family and the way they dealt with my moodiness. I found things that I liked to do and did them I fished, camped and hunted a lot. Then I found another job (gotta pay the bills) and found I enjoyed it too. In a lot of ways it was like loosing a loved one and like that loss it fades over time, but you never forget it or loose the want to go play again.

for me, i've changed jobs / careers / professions numerous times throughout my life. i've found that when one door closes, another opens - i think kind of like what ray was saying.

and for me, i've never considered myself to be a - fill in the blank. i am not what i do, but i am who i am who happens to be doing - fill in the blank - right now. i've enjoyed everything i've ever done, have always done well performancewise and $ wise, and look forward to the next opportunity.

enough deep stuff. i too have given up hard-won licenses. not easy, but there's only so much time for continuing education in each of the areas where my licenses were / are.

i'm still me and happy about it.

bsmith

Right in the middle of my department refresher for SCBA, I turned my mask in. I had completed my refresher, scoring well and passing with ease. Something just "popped" in my mind and said I was done. I turned in my mask and interior tags right then, and never looked back, I did stay on as a exterior firefighter.
Same thing happened with my state EMT rating. I took the whole refresher course (was far from the first time), and when it came time for the practical (I should have very easily passed) I just said I was done. I don't know why, but I just was. I've missed being a EMT a number of times, all in all do not regret it.

In my personal experience, retiring from the USCG, You just descibed it all in perfect detail, Ray!!!!

Thanks for putting it into words so eloquently...Bo

Pete - Sounds like you are a bit of an adrenaline junkie. That is OK in its own right. That is what makes guys like you so valuable to the public service you provide. But there are times when life is going to change.

Here's the gig...understand what bsmith said. You have to be who you are regardless of skills, qualifications and education. I retired from the USAF last year after 26 years of service. I got a Master's degree and earned a Black Belt in karate in the last year I was in. Quite honestly, both have been hollow achievements. I was trying to define myself through those accomplishments. I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. Add to that the loss of the "sense of community" or the "brother in arms" and things were/are a little sketchy.

But, I have been blessed to have a brother who has acted as my confidant and mentor durng my transition time. We have discussed the process of discovering who I am as a person outside the confines of military service. I had to look at who I am. The journey ,while only beginning, is difficult. I have to trust that it will work out. It has to, I have a daughter and wife in college and a teenage son that need me to stay sane.

So, relax in your new role. Also, realize that you have never been a "whatever-year-old" going through change like this before. It is a new experience and you really need to take it moment-by-moment.

Let me know if you need anymore screwball advice like this, I have tons of it.

Pete,

It's funny you should bring this up. This is a long story, but it will re-connect with yours.
We just had our nominations for business and line officers for 2008.

As of this moment, nobody wanted to take Chief Engineer, Assistant Engineer, Captain, Company President, Vice President, Relief Association President, Relief Association Vice President.

We got a notification that we'd be able to get EMT-B and EMT-A training for free. Great, right? Well you know full well how long those programs take for the first time through, and even a refresher program is long. No takers there.

By simple default, I'm now Lieutenant, Company Recording Secretary, Acting President for the Fire Company, and we voted to eliminate the position of President and Vice President of the Relief Association and create a position called "Administrator of Relief Accounts" and that's me.

We now spend more on Insurance and Fundraising than we do on Apparatus Maintenance, Safety Equipment and Training combined.

In 2007, so far, I've logged only 75 hours on emergency scenees, 67 hours of training, and 159 hours on administrative & fundraising duties.

I have come to the conclusion that this is a second, unpaid office job, with some emergency services work on occasion. It's not just me. All around us, fire companies are simply falling apart under the burden of ceaseless administration.

As 2008 looms, the prospect of more endless administrative hell sits there (we just learned that our sales-tax exemption is out of date, and it takes 3-4 months to get it renewed, but we need a current sales-tax exemption to register the rescue turuck. Oh, and the 2006 tax return wasn't filed, and the IRS didn't like our 2005 return and wants to fine us $5,300. Oh, and another thing - we need to file sales tax for the community breakfast we did last month. And the insurance company called and they need to have a meeting to go over the policy changes. And we need to update the signature cards on the bank accounts. And the NFIRS reports need to be done.
And somewhere in the middle of all that, there's a new housing development going in, and I need to work with the Cheifs on water supply pre-plans, we need to get our local maps and box cards updated and we need to do a walk-through at the elementary school during Christmas break.

As much as I love doing the emergency services, quite frankly, I can't switch jobs to run with the local paid EMS crew and keep my house, because they pay $8.00 an hour for part-timers and $12.00 an hour for C shifters. As far as paid firefighting, the salary is better, but to be honest, it's not a career that a 42 (almost 43) year old guy is going to do well to start in.

So I think that there's three things happening here. First of all, the self-funded volunteer emergency services in America are nearly extinct. Where we live, the political and cultural inertia, both from governments and from the 80 and 100 year old fire companies is making the reality that we need to go to a regionalized, fully-funded municipal fire department, with an administrative staff, difficult to present, much less implement.

But I've responded to enough calls with only 2 or 3 members - even at night - to know that the end is in sight.

And so, I think you have reached the same conclusion. You know and I know that to get, and maintain ALS skill levels is a job in and of itself. You also know that EMS in general is moving to a mostly ALS service, and that leaves you out unless you're collecting a salary while taking a 48 hour Paramedic Refresher Class plus 16 hour ACLS Class.

Same goes for firefighters. Sure, I can go on as an officer without NIMS 11,000,456 for a while, but eventually, somone, somewhere, will tie grant funding to some rule requiring "all officers to have attained NIMS 70,000,012 certification" and we can tell the members they have to go for yet another training class for yet another 24 hours or we can say "screw this, I hope my house doesn't catch fire" and stay home for a change.

In the end, it's not possible for a volunteer with a job and family to really keep it up anymore, and that's a sad fact. So, my advice to you - let it go, knowing that the best of your work and the most meaningful part of that career is behind you and you did right by a lot of people in the time and way you could. From here on in, it's not a moral duty anymore, it's just another job someone has.

I let my EMT-P expire as I was not working at the time. Then 9/11 happened and I realized how much I missed it. I am now an EMT-I and I regret everyday letting my P go. Please don't do it. Find the time to maintain your certification. Here in Mass (one of the only states that does not accept the NREMT) If you are more than 1 year lapsed (I was) you need to retake the entire EMT-P course again. I do not have the time (12-18 months) or money (10-20 grand) or the energy to do it. On the plus side I joined the army reserves in April of this year. Shipped to boot on 4/17, graduated 6/29, went to Fort Sam to become a combat medic (68W) because I had my NREMT-I, I was able to cut the 6 weeks of NREMT-basic of my training. I graduated Fort Sam 9/14 instead of 10/24.

Pete, I am currently facing a similiar situation. I have more than enough time in both career and volunteer persion plans to retire. I still have 1 year+ remaining on my EMT-P and find myself dealing with a lot of issues related to retirement and dropping certification back to EMT-B. I still like my job, EMS Operations Supervisor / Special Ops Commander, and enjoy serving on the (volunteer)Heavy Rescue company. The more I contemplate retirement, the more distasteful the thought becomes. I wish I could provide support and encouragement to help with your problem, however I gotta fix my own. Good Luck and Best Wishes with your problem, I share your pain.

Scott, Tactical EMT-P
Rescue Specialist/Instructor

I left the fire department almost 10 years ago for various reasons. All this time, I have wondered if I had made the right decision and have let most of my certs slip away and expire. Your above words are the thoughts and rationale I have been elusively seeking for too many years. Thank you

SD.