For the longest time, I was not a fan of guns. A few times in high school I shot a .22 rifle or 12 gauge, but I never had any desire to own one.

A couple of years ago, my martial arts instructor invited me to do some target shooting with him. I politely declined, saying that I didn't really care for guns all that much. My wife and I don't like it when our kids want to play the video games that have gun controllers.

I once took a CCW course, but only because I wanted to carry a knife bigger than the legal limit here. When I inquired about the same course in the city I currently live in, I was informed that it is darn near impossible to get a permit from our county sheriff.

Recently I've been thinking more and more that at least a good working knowledge of the use and maintenance of firearms would be valuable. I have even briefly thought of carrying a hand gun, although as I just stated, I would not be doing so legally.

But I'm quite certain that I don't have the right mindset to truly carry a firearm in a safe and responsible way. I am not saying that in a self defense situation that I would not kill someone who I truly believed to be a deadly threat to me or my family, but that would be an absolute last resort(as it would be for most people).

My preferences are for short range self defense tools and tactics. I know this is not always practical, but I often consider the least violent (lethal) tools and techniques that could be used.

I'm really on the fence at this point...I know, I know...you can't be on the fence when it comes to issues of life and death. I suppose that I could ask my MA instructor if the offer still stands, and get some experience and educate myself and then see where my attitude is...

Ideas of how to proceed?