You're screwed. My advice is to start looking for work in a location you can tolerate immediately, no job is worth risking the safety of your family like that. I've had to pack up and start over before too. It sucks, but it is better than the alternative, which is to be standing over a gravesite one day.

Never count on equity in a home, unless you are in the real estate business.

You'd better hurry up and prioritize what is important to you and then take some action. If you can't sell the house, well, there are always alternatives I won't elaborate on here. The imporant thing is do whatever you gotta do to get your family in a safe environment and keep them there. It ain't easy, but what one man can do, another can do.

Your only other choice is to turn your wife and kid(s) into killers so they can defend themselves when you are away. At least that's what I did.