Good story! Thank you for sharing!

Regarding the absolute universal charger.
They do exist or can be easily made (LM317 IC 3-40V in, 1.5V out + that AA step-up charger). The only problem (IMHO) is with the connectors for every phone. There are way too many different models. So, along with some of the most popular connectors, you have to carry some tools, wires, and skills to improvise.

BTW, EDC playing cards eBay

I just bought something along these lines: Mini Dynamo 5 LED Flashlight & Phone Charger

I'm planning on keeping one in my car and one in my office. Seems like a good idea because a) I've got a light that doesn't need batteries and b) I can charge a cell phone with them.

They're a little bulky for hiking or EDC, but wait a year or two.