Houston Chemist in SWAT Standoff

Molotov cocktails? Not impressed.

-Blast

I knew it wasn't you because you'd be more creative and more BLAST than fizzle. Your reputation is secured on this board, have no worry about that!!!!!!

Yes, Wildman's right!

Besides, you'd never do that to your family, leaving Kuovonne to have to explain to your girls.

Sue

I have to agree with every one else plus the fact I don't think you would be writing us after offing yourself. Besides your DW would kick your butt first.

Exactly! Plus, I’m sure you’re nowhere near done teaching your girls how to blow things up, keep boys away, prepare for any disaster, etc.…

Which brings up another point, Blast!

When the boys come courting your daughters, use some of my techniques.

1) Post a copy of the "Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter" on their living room wall and direct the "prospective Beau's" attention to it.

2) Be cleaning your guns, knives, and swords.

3) Be sure to make the comment, "You know son, I haven't been able to legally kill anyone since the _______ war back in 19__. I do miss the thrill!"

4) Also be sure to mention that if your little girl doesn't return home on time and intact, "that you look forward to hauling his body among the many thousands of acres of woodlands that you have access to, with a shovel in the other hand."

I never had a problem arise with my daughter being brought home later than what was agreed to, and she was intact. Of course, I also had my Shadow Box hanging in their Living Room for him to see.

There are ways to handle all problems!!!!!

Top five actual quotes of DD1 (4 years old)

5. Can you please hold these slugs? I see some more there to catch.

4. Ooh! That's a pretty rifle. You should get it. (Yugo SKS, now in my gun safe)

3. Light this one next daddy! I like the loud boom.

2. Look! The lizard is biting me but I'm dealing with it.

1. Mason tried to hug me so I knocked him over.


I think we're doing a pretty good job as parents.


-Blast

I think you and DW have the situation under control in a marvelous fashion!!!!

Knew it wasn't you.

-Basic mollies, you can do better (worse?) than that.
-DW would probably feed you to the cat if you did this.
-No one knocked on my door asking funny questions about people I know in Texas.

I have a very dear friend who I think of as my little sister. When I've been introduced to prospective young men, I get them aside and tell them simple "look, you don't have to be afraid of me- I only swat flies, kill them cleanly. She isn't as nice as I am when she's angry." (Keep in mind, my public face can be very scary, and I usually ramp it up to the King Kong class when I give that piece of advice.)