Turn the telephone ringers off and the answering machine volume down. Hearing an unanswered telephone call is a pretty good giveaway that no one is home.

Also, do not leave the outgoing message on your answering machine saying, “Hi! We’re having a great time in __________!…” Thieves can and do get the phone numbers for houses they are casing, and that pretty much says, “Hey! Come steal our stuff!”
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“Hiking is just walking where it’s okay to pee. Sometimes old people hike by mistake.” — Demitri Martin