Here's a creepy idea for a movie...

It somewhat relates the some of the forum topics discussed here.

A few times we've discussed plans for getting back together with loved ones in the event of an emergency, one in which we're initially seperated, but what if...

Right at Your Door

Hmm, doesn't seem too realistic to me. Then again, I take my marriage more seriously than the mainstream seems to. There's no way I would leave my wife at the door. Whatever we face in life, we face it together.

If this sort of action seems like a real dilemma to some people, then I'd say it is a fair indictment of what is wrong with our society in terms of how families are portrayed. For me, it is a no-brainer decision. I would be more than happy to give up any longevity in order to spend what time I do have with the one I love more than any other. Isn't that the way it is supposed to be?

There comes a point where survival loses it's value. This is a good example of where that line is. I suppose if kids were involved then there might be some consideration of risk and sacrifice, but I believe if that were the case in our household, my wife would be aware of that and just as unwilling to risk their welfare as I would.

Our marriage is based on the premise that nothing in this world comes between us. If it were me on the outside of the plastic, and I knew I was doomed, I would still go home, but I would not insist on being let in the house, and if things got really bad, I would want to leave so as to save her some of the pain of my suffering, unless she'd be willing to go through that with me to the end. I expect she would do the same if it were her on the outside, but if she felt she needed me bad enough to warrant my exposure, I wouldn't hesitate. That door would be wide open the moment she says she needs me. Heck, I might just open it anyways soon as I see her coming. One thing being in Baghdad taught me; a moment with her is worth far more than a lifetime of solitude.

We've been together 19 years. It is a good start...

Nice "From The Heart" reply Benjammin.

Well said.

Mike

If I were the one caught out in it, I don't think I'd go home and give my wife the option of letting me in, only to suffer the same fate. Hopefully I'd have the resolve to stick with my decision.

On the other hand, I would let my wife in if she were caught in it and returned home unless there were children in the home (as you mentioned being a possibility). I would hope in such a case she'd think of the children, but in a panic logical thought can go right out the window. A drowning person can take others down with them.

I'm also wondering if there's some type of middle ground. Perhaps a section of the house could be partitioned off until all of the options can be assessed.

Looks like an interesting movie...I'd like to see it.

This independent movie was first shown at the 2006 Sundance Film festival and has since been purchased by another production company hence it's limited release to some theatres. The movie has received some fairly good reviews and I will be watching either it at the theatre or on DVD.

Wikipedia has a page regarding this movie. There are plenty of spoilers on this page as it goes through in heavy detail, the plot and scenes of the movie...you have been warned.

I have to agree with the comments in this post.

I saw it about a month ago. Some realism mixed with lots of "un"-realism. Just my opinion, but it was an intersting story idea wasted on a so-so film.

I take my marriage more seriously than the mainstream seems to. There's no way I would leave my wife at the door. Whatever we face in life, we face it together.

That's exactly what I told my wife when we saw the trailer almost a year ago. There's no way I'm refusing to let her in the house.

I'm going to see this movie, but my expectations are fairly low.

Amen to that!

"Sorry honey, I just finished sealing up the front door and you know how I hate to waste duct tape..."

I agree, even though I’m not married. Being prepared for dirty bombs simply means learning how to decontaminate. Might come in handy on yourself some time, too.

Speaking of learning to decontaminate… time for Google.

Yep, no way I'd keep her out -- she has a garage door opener Seriously though, we both keep N-95 masks in the vehicles and it would be a matter of decontamination in the shower. Lots of decon. Leaving someone you love outside on the doorstep -- what a sad, selfish life -- too scared to be allowed to live.

Well to update my comment I made the other day, I posed the question to my wife.

He first reaction was a 5 second pause :P

Then she said:

"Why the hell would you come back to the house if you knew you would kill me and the kids?"

Well that made me laugh.

She then proceeded to tell me that if we had no kids, she would open the door so we could go together. But considering we have kids, she would not expose the kids to the danger.

I agree with her decision. Plus there would be no way I would go home knowing that I would kill my kids and wife by exposing them.

Looking at it now, if decontamination was all I needed to do, then I would be prepared for that.....

Like JC said....time to go to google.

When we first moved into our house the surrounding area was farmland and one day some cows got out of their field. DW and I were in the front yard when she saw three cows walking down the street towards us. She screamed, ran inside the house and locked the door, leaving me outside to deal with the cattle. She refused to unlock the door until the rancher had come and got his cows.

She's gotten much better over the years.

-Blast

Oh no! What if they had been "Mad Cows"? Dumm dumm duuuummmmmm.

HAHAHA

Don't ask me why...but that is cute

Benjammin,

Kudos, sir. You truly have life figured out. I respect that tremendously.

Harley

SPOILER:



Well I was not expecting the end of the movie to be like that!

For better or worse, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.

Period.

yep, having kids puts a different perspective on it. personally, there's no way in hell the wife is coming back in, nor would I expect her to let me in. I'll go further and say, even if we didn't have kids, I would not want her to open the door... I would be committing murder and her suicide.

Regardless how much I begged and pleaded, she would have the right to go on and live life. I am no one to take that away from her, only she can do that.

Now let me turn this around. If she was the one outside, I still wouldn't let her in. I have just as much right to live a normal life than everyone else. And, for her to come begging and pleading, knowing well she is condemning me to certain death, is thoughtless and selfish and I don't need to be with anyone like that.

I think I would have to disagree with you on the last paragraph there. When you marry someone, I believe you give up a certain amount of autonomy. You have made a commitment to that person, for better or worse, and you have a duty to face whatever you need to face to support your spouse. In my world, you don't forsake your spouse in the manner you suggest. You've in fact given up some of your right to live an independent life. The needs of your marriage ought to be greater than your personal needs, and if they aren't then I would question your motives.

The duty you both owe to your kids does mitigate your duty to your spouse to some degree, as you suggest, but if there's a compromise that would preserve their interests and allow you to tend to your spouse's needs as well, you should be trying to find that option. Maybe there isn't one, but you have a duty to try and solve that problem if you can.

I would feel like a failure as a husband if my wife ever had to come begging and pleading of anything within my power to grant, even to the point of my demise. If you aren't willing to sacrifice all you have for the one person that is supposed to mean more to you than anything else this world could offer save the life of your child, then from my point of view you've missed the meaning of what marriage is supposed to be.

In my opinion, you have given up the right to a normal life once you took your vows. Part of your life belongs to your spouse, and according to Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, it is about an 80/20 split, with the 80% belonging now to your spouse. My grandparents thought this way and stayed together 50+ years. My parents always looked for equity in their marriages, and so have been married and divorced quite a few times. My wife and I think like my grandparents, and have been together 19 years now.

You must do as your conscience dictates. The laws of self-preservation are strong and difficult to break. It is a measure of will to subjugate our natural tendencies and serve a greater good. In fact, it goes against the apparent nature of being a survivor. But at some point, we must recogize that there are things in life bigger and more important than we are; things worth sacrificing ourselves for. Marriage ought to be one of those things, at least in my book it is.

Benjamin, I completely agree to disagree. I've had this talk with my wife and we're both on equal footing.

Don't get me wrong, I would take a bullet to "save" my wife, but I would not give up my life if I knew my wife was going to die anyway... no way, no how, no chance.



I totally disagree 100%. Marriage is about selfless love, and if my wife expected me to die along side her, she is being selfish. I would never expect or want her to open the door for me. She deserves to be happy; even with someone else. If she decides to kill herself because she didn't open the door, that is her choice and cross to bear.

We obviously have a very different philosophy about love and marriage... I don't need my wife and she doesn't need me. We want each other.

To think my life should stop because I can't live without her is, in my opinion, asinine and ludacris. I am completely ready to move on without her. Would it her? Absolutely!!! But, life doesn't stop existing.



I'm glad you have been happy and lasted so long, conratulations. however, I don't follow that line of reasoning, and saying you only existed this long because you followed your grandparents line of reasoning is absurd.

You guys lasted this long because you are your own individuals and sync up pretty well and have an understanding and acceptance of eachother. The way your parents and grandparents lived have nothing to do with it...

all of this posts are so morbid. Can't you just use GPS tracking device on your wife? it would be easier to find her or send signal to her.

Hmm, this sounds like a discussion I've had with my mom, which resulted in the same dichotomy of values. We don't have to reconcile our different opinions. Like I say, to each, his own.

I would say that at the least the influence of my grandparents and parents did leave me two very good models upon which to base my priorities, one seems correct and successful, the other less so. We do all follow our own paths, though.