Well, my wife was injured pretty badly with a 12 Ga recoil, so I can see her point. She now has a Mossberg 500 in 20 Ga, which is quite easy to handle, has far greater stopping power than a 410, and has far more options as to make and model. While I have successfully hunted deer with 410 slugs, it's not the sort of weapon that will have any meaningful stopping power unless you're using slugs, and place them well, or you're using larger shot at very close range, and even then I don't think it's got the slam factor of a larger round.
We've both the Remington 870 series and the Mossberg 500 series, I like them both, but I find that my hands just seem to fit the way the Mossberg is set up better. They seem to have identical mechanical reliability.
Her gun is the Mo9ssberg 20Ga 500 "Persuader" model, 18" barrel, with a recoil pad and a forestock mounted tactical light. It's light, fast and reliable, as well as being really low priced. We have a bead sight on it, it's painted bright orange with some model paint. It hits what you point it at.
Load it with 00 Buck and it's a pretty hard-hitter.
If you load it with a slug, it's a stop 'n drop weapon (as long as you hit in the right place).
HTH