Originally Posted By: Jesselp
Actually, I think my wife did OK.


So do I smile


I think there is some gender difference at play here, too. My wife will call me / her sister / her mom whenever things are hard. I think seeking the console and sympathy of others is a healthy impulse which is more dominant in females.

Myself, I try to do everything myself. Even at to point where some assistance or even just having a listener would be highly beneficial. That, I think, is a very typical male way of doing things.


Nothing wrong with either impulse, whatever gets the job done and all that. As always, finding the balance greatly improves things. My wife is pretty resourceful and by no means helpless if on-the-phone or in-person consolation is not available. But I could learn to ask for help earlier. And I do think asking for help or a listener is more healthy than trying to do everything all by yourself. No matter how well equipped, some tasks will be just to exhaustive to deal with all by yourself.

And helping others have its own rewards and merits. Art_in_FL summarized pretty good why humans evolved in communities, not in isolation. The just-2-parents-and-2-kids family is a pretty recent invention.


Edited by MostlyHarmless (06/01/10 06:37 AM)