Oh, if only more people were so concerned with etiquette!

There are probably a lot of people, especially younger folks, who have always participated in online or wireless communications, who think that there's a real difference between face-to-face etiquette and online etiquette. Unfortunately, many of these same kids find to their dismay that this doesn't fly in the real world, like answering a text message during a job interview and wondering why they didn't get the job. *sigh*

Here's a different angle to the question. You mentioned misunderstandings. Unfortunately, no matter how considerate you are and how well you adhere to any set of rules, there are just a lot of people out there who do not understand what the word "discussion" means. Any sort of opinion that doesn't jive with their own is taken as a personal attack, and therefore they get angry and start making personal attacks back. I've seen that too many times to count. Just look at what passes for "discussion" on TV news these days, like on Fox News, where shouting down or denigrating the other speaker is equated with a "successful" appearance. (Why is Fox News often the only news they show at my gym in the evenings?!)

I'm sure these talking heads understand what's going on, but to the impressionable public, they gradually think this is the norm in terms of how adults should interact. Just look at these town hall meetings over health care reform. Obviously, we only see the most over the top comments on TV, but still, it's the verbal equivalent of a beat down or covering your ears and yelling, "La-la-la, I'm not listening to you~!"

Sorry, that's probably not particularly helpful to you. But it's unfortunate that often the problem is really with the other person.

Actually, it may help us give more specific advice if you could clarify what kinds of situations have been giving you problems, Jeanette. Disagreements turning into personal attacks is just one problem. Jokes taken the wrong way are another. Dealing with unprovoked harassment is another.

Personally, I think that there are few Internet-specific rules, or Netiquette. Things like not typing in all caps and such, not hotlinking to images from other sites, etc. Most Netiquette is simply an extension of real world etiquette and norms--or should be.