My mom was a pioneer in reducing calorie count in everyday foods-Cornell home economics major, and quite adventurous. She created a dietetic mayonnaise in the '50's-substituted mineral oil for the olive oil when she made it. Served it to the bridge club with her popular tomato aspic. The ladies liked it all too well, and came down with the runs shortly thereafter, since mineral oil isn't meatbolized, but passes-quite promptly-through the gut. The old man's favorite recommendation for dog cough syrup was a tablespoon of mineral oil-"they'll be afraid to cough!"

Doughnuts without holes are beignet. Laissez les bon temps roulez.