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#70954 - 08/10/06 05:47 PM Re: Flying Naked
ki4buc Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 11/10/03
Posts: 710
Loc: Augusta, GA
Commercial Airline Announcements:
"Attention Passengers. For your safety, the Bill of Rights is not valid on airport property, or aboard any aircraft. All essential and valuable personal items must be in unlocked, checked baggage. Any item to be used for child pacification must be checked. Any item to be used to block out the sounds of an unpacified child also must be checked. Headsets will not be provided on the aircraft, as they can be used to choke flight crew. Plastic government issued ID cards can be used as weapons and must be surrendered to security staff. Your ID number, Airline, Flight Number, and Seat Assignment will be temporarily tatooed to your forehead. Any attempt to remove this is a 2nd degree federal felony. All passengers must be secured in a security 5-point harness with limb movement restricted. Airlines may restrict the use of lavoritories for safety concerns. Please, do no urinate or deficate in the isles. Please, drink plenty of water before departure, as no water is provided on any flight. Thank you for flying. Enjoy your flight"

ConAir Flight Annoucments
"Attention Passengers. You have been tried and convicted in a court of the United States of America. The Bill of Rights does not apply to you. You have no personal property, and any property found upon you is now a FELONY. All passengers must have handcuffs, and ankle cuffs on at all times. To relieve yourself, notify a crewmember and you will be released from your seat and escorted to the lavoritory. Failure to obey any flight crew member will result in isolation and severe bodily harm. Your prisoner number must be visible at all times. We do not have inflight beverage service. Thank you for flying ConAir. Enjoy your flight"


Edited by ki4buc (08/10/06 05:54 PM)

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#70955 - 08/10/06 05:54 PM Re: Flying Naked
311 Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 285
Loc: NY USA
Food & water purchased between the security checkpoint & the gate should be allowed. Not allowing this is ridiculous. Airports should be required to have such stuff for sale in the secure area.

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#70956 - 08/10/06 06:20 PM Re: Flying Naked
thseng Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 03/24/06
Posts: 900
Loc: NW NJ
Due to the realization that there are in infinite number of ways to harm people on board an airliner and that there is at least a 50/50 chance that terrorists are more creative in thinking of these ways than the rule-makers are, the following are the new rules for airline travelers:

We have made no attempt to control who or what is on board your flight.

Be aware that the goal of one or more of your fellow passengers may be to kill as many innocent people as possible with no regard for his own life.

Checked baggage is not permitted – We suggest you use UPS or FedEx next-day delivery to your destination for items that are too large to be carried on. You’ll notice that cost of the saved labor, fuel and equipment has been deducted from your fare. Plus the odds of it getting “lost” is are much lower and no one will rummage through it.

You are responsible for your own safety. We encourage you to arm yourself with any weapon(s) you feel qualified to use effectively. Be aware that persons with ill intent may be similarly armed (but hopefully outnumbered). Also be aware that such persons may choose less selective and more destructive weapons than those acting with good will.

We suggest that you remain vigilant to anyone or anything that may pose a threat to your safety and take appropriate action.

Just as when not on an airliner, you are accountable for your own actions and may be prosecuted under US law for crimes such as intentionally harming an innocent person or recklessly endangering the lives of others.

Finally, please walk briskly through the inoperative metal detectors in the now-defunct security checkpoints so as not to hold up the passengers behind you. No rubbernecking, please. Do not place any carry-on items, shoes, belts or contents of your pockets on the x-ray machine’s conveyor belt.

You may not be significantly more or less safe than before, but we hope you will find that the majority of passengers can now get safely and quickly to their destination with a minimum of hassle.

P.S. We really don’t care if you *feel* safe or not.
_________________________
- Tom S.

"Never trust and engineer who doesn't carry a pocketknife."

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#70957 - 08/10/06 06:26 PM Seeing Red
ChristinaRodriguez Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 324
Loc: Rhode Island
Have you all been reading the articles? The overwhelming response from the populace is one of complacency: "Well, what else can we do?", "It's better to FEEL safe", "I think it's ridiculous, but I'll do it anyway." They have no choice, since no one knew that this was going to happen today. My husband is one of thousands being caught up in this right now. The airlines should be giving people full ticket refunds; my husband has the right to take his business elsewhere without being penalized.

They're not realizing that this is going beyond mere "inconvenience." It's that type of attitude of letting things just happent to you is why we will continue to be at the whim of others. I wish more people would be inclined to stand up and say, NO, I'm NOT going to let this happen. Perhaps that kind of attitude would have made more of a difference on 9/11.
_________________________
http://www.christinarodriguez.com

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#70958 - 08/10/06 06:26 PM Re: Flying Naked
Russ Offline
Geezer

Registered: 06/02/06
Posts: 5357
Loc: SOCAL
Instead of that, they're beefing up gate security to ensure that after you dump your water bottle at the metal detector, you don't buy another one to carry aboard. I'm not afraid of being in an airliner crash -- I'll play those odds, but I won't deal with what the BS TSA puts the passengers through to keep them "safe".
_________________________
Better is the Enemy of Good Enough.
Okay, what’s your point??

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#70959 - 08/10/06 06:32 PM Re: Seeing Red
Russ Offline
Geezer

Registered: 06/02/06
Posts: 5357
Loc: SOCAL
Like I said earlier, before 9/11 I flew as a routine. Post 9/11 I've flown twice, both on official business, no option. On personal business I drive. If I needed to visit the opposite coast, I'd drive.

The ongoing kneejerk response is crazy. As I understand it, you can't buy a bottle of water in a clear container (Arrowhead for me, Zephyrhills and others for guys back east). That's over the top.
_________________________
Better is the Enemy of Good Enough.
Okay, what’s your point??

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#70960 - 08/10/06 06:35 PM Re: Flying Naked
ki4buc Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 11/10/03
Posts: 710
Loc: Augusta, GA
I have to fly in a week or two. I was wondering, is wearing the Bright Orange Convict Jumpsuit they sell as a holloween outfit "over the top"? I'd find it real funny when they confiscate the plastic handcuffs.

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#70961 - 08/10/06 06:37 PM Re: Flying Naked
Russ Offline
Geezer

Registered: 06/02/06
Posts: 5357
Loc: SOCAL
Not over the top at all. You'd just be dressing for the part the TSA wants you to play.
_________________________
Better is the Enemy of Good Enough.
Okay, what’s your point??

Top
#70962 - 08/10/06 06:37 PM Re: Flying Naked
LED Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/01/05
Posts: 1474
posted by thseng:
"We have made no attempt to control who or what is on board your flight.

Be aware that the goal of one or more of your fellow passengers may be to kill as many innocent people as possible with no regard for his own life.

Checked baggage is not permitted ? We suggest you use UPS or FedEx next-day delivery to your destination for items that are too large to be carried on. You?ll notice that cost of the saved labor, fuel and equipment has been deducted from your fare. Plus the odds of it getting ?lost? is are much lower and no one will rummage through it.

You are responsible for your own safety. We encourage you to arm yourself with any weapon(s) you feel qualified to use effectively. Be aware that persons with ill intent may be similarly armed (but hopefully outnumbered). Also be aware that such persons may choose less selective and more destructive weapons than those acting with good will.

We suggest that you remain vigilant to anyone or anything that may pose a threat to your safety and take appropriate action.

Just as when not on an airliner, you are accountable for your own actions and may be prosecuted under US law for crimes such as intentionally harming an innocent person or recklessly endangering the lives of others.

Finally, please walk briskly through the inoperative metal detectors in the now-defunct security checkpoints so as not to hold up the passengers behind you. No rubbernecking, please. Do not place any carry-on items, shoes, belts or contents of your pockets on the x-ray machine?s conveyor belt.

You may not be significantly more or less safe than before, but we hope you will find that the majority of passengers can now get safely and quickly to their destination with a minimum of hassle.

P.S. We really don?t care if you *feel* safe or not.


- Tom S. "


<img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> that hilarious! thats the airline i'm using from now on for sure!!

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#70963 - 08/10/06 06:49 PM Re: Flying Naked
thseng Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 03/24/06
Posts: 900
Loc: NW NJ
Brain flash:

Step 1: Make each airline responsible for security on its own flights. Each airline must operate its own security checkpoint with its own personnel. Let them make their own rules.

Step 2: Make airline tickets fully refundable right up to the time that you board the plane. If you don't like the "service" at security, you have a chance to take your money elsewhere.

Ok, so it would require a seperate terminal for each airline, but who's idea is perfect?

I can imagine the marketing angles on this one...

"Fly SS Air - We make you feel soooooo safe. (You never actually get *through* security)"

"Fly Packin' Air - The terrorists may be armed but so are you! Special this month only: Sharp pointy knives served with the in-flight prime rib."
_________________________
- Tom S.

"Never trust and engineer who doesn't carry a pocketknife."

Top
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