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#299615 - 08/05/21 10:28 PM Planning for your death
Bingley Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 1576
This is not really a "survival" topic, but I am guessing that us preparation types do not limit ourselves to preparing to survive. We also prepare to die. So perhaps I can get good advice here. I'm assuming a non-emergency, peacetime situation.

Let's say you have a will that says who gets what. Now you have a house full of junk. How can you organize it to make things easier for the executor?

Also, how do people handle the numerous digital accounts? They include stuff like phone, internet, and power, as well as Amazon Prime, Netflix, email, PayPal, bank, etc. Do you write down all your passwords and send them to the executor? That seems like bad security. Is there a way for the executor to get all your passwords once you pass? (Get it?)

Thanks for your input in advance. Let me know if you find any online resources particularly useful. Extra credit for puns!

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#299616 - 08/05/21 10:45 PM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
Jeanette_Isabelle Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 11/13/06
Posts: 2948
Loc: Nacogdoches, Texas
I thought this was to be a thread on spiritual preparation.

Jeanette Isabelle
_________________________
I'm not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago, but I admire the sadism. -- Wednesday Adams, Wednesday

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#299617 - 08/05/21 11:41 PM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
hikermor Offline
Geezer in Chief
Geezer

Registered: 08/26/06
Posts: 7705
Loc: southern Cal
I, indeed, have a houseful of junk. I am trying to assess items and if possible, give them away before my time, or at least, leave a list. it helps to ring the subject up and find out who would cherish which items.

As for the spiritual preparation, I'll pass......(What choice do I have? I certainly won't be able to run anymore)
_________________________
Geezer in Chief

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#299618 - 08/05/21 11:57 PM Re: Planning for your death [Re: hikermor]
Jeanette_Isabelle Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 11/13/06
Posts: 2948
Loc: Nacogdoches, Texas
Originally Posted By: hikermor
it helps to ring the subject up and find out who would cherish which items.

I don't know if this helps. When Dad died, I got several things, including his old drawing table, which I currently use as a computer desk.

Jeanette Isabelle
_________________________
I'm not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago, but I admire the sadism. -- Wednesday Adams, Wednesday

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#299622 - 08/06/21 01:08 AM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
chaosmagnet Offline
Sheriff
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/03/09
Posts: 3821
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Bingley
This is not really a "survival" topic, but I am guessing that us preparation types do not limit ourselves to preparing to survive.


Correct. This is on-topic for Around The Campfire.


chaosmagnet

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#299624 - 08/06/21 01:14 AM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
chaosmagnet Offline
Sheriff
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/03/09
Posts: 3821
Loc: USA
I have a will. My wife is to get everything if she’s around to collect. Otherwise, split evenly amongst the not-so-little-any-more Magnets.

I have a Drop Dead Envelope with critical information for online accounts, life insurance, and so on. It needs to be updated.

My will is silent with regard to specific belongings. I’d rather give my things to my children while I’m alive to see them enjoy the gifts. Maybe when I’m older I’ll feel differently about that.

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#299625 - 08/06/21 01:16 AM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
Phaedrus Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 04/28/10
Posts: 3152
Loc: Big Sky Country
So far I haven't done anything which I really should, having gone through this with other relatives. I'm not wealthy nor do I have any valuable assets that anyone would argue over. If I die before the my mother or siblings I don't think they'd have any trouble dividing my possessions; if I die after them then it won't matter what becomes of my stuff.
_________________________
“I'd rather have questions that cannot be answered than answers that can't be questioned.” —Richard Feynman

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#299626 - 08/06/21 02:42 AM Re: Planning for your death [Re: chaosmagnet]
Bingley Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 1576
Originally Posted By: chaosmagnet
I have a Drop Dead Envelope with critical information for online accounts, life insurance, and so on.


Is this an actual paper envelope, or is it some sort of service on the internet? I feel like there must be a way to store encrypted files that, upon the presentation of a death certificate and a will, can be made available to the executor.

If I just leave a file or piece of paper with the passwords, I can see two problems easily. (1) Passwords change. (2) Some accounts may require multi-factor verification.

Like Chaos, I also came to the conclusion that leaving people things is not as good as leaving them memories or giving them things while we're all alive to enjoy said things.

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#299629 - 08/06/21 07:56 AM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
Tjin Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/08/02
Posts: 1821
How important is it to have access to the online accounts?

Death certificate works well to cancel things and gain access to the bankaccount (which is handy to find those subscriptions).

I'm even still doubting about a funeral insurer. I'll leave enough to cover that bill, but it might be easier for those that need to take care of it.
_________________________


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#299630 - 08/06/21 11:26 AM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
NAro Offline
Addict

Registered: 03/15/01
Posts: 518
"I feel like there must be a way to store encrypted files that, upon the presentation of a death certificate and a will, can be made available to the executor."
Presentation of the death certificate to whom? If to some online service provider....good luck. That will delay probate for many months.
Consider something simple like giving your executor access to a password protected file on onedrive or google drive. BETTER YET, if your executor has a google drive or onedrive, let THEM give you access to the file on their drive.

"My will is silent with regard to specific belongings. I’d rather give my things to my children while I’m alive to see them enjoy the gifts. Maybe when I’m older I’ll feel differently about that."
I think that's great, but please don't die unexpectedly.

Per guidance from a Trust and Estate attorney: my will gives reference to items to be gifted according to tags on the items, or photo's of the item captioned "for xxxx" The Photos file is on the executor's Google drive, password protected, shared to me...so I can modify as I wish.



Edited by NAro (08/06/21 11:31 AM)

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#299631 - 08/06/21 11:55 AM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
chaosmagnet Offline
Sheriff
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/03/09
Posts: 3821
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Bingley
Is this an actual paper envelope, or is it some sort of service on the internet? I feel like there must be a way to store encrypted files that, upon the presentation of a death certificate and a will, can be made available to the executor.


It’s an actual paper envelope kept in a safe. I can envision circumstances where I’m not dead but my wife may still need access to things. And if there were a service like that you propose, I wouldn’t use it. Working in cybersecurity has given me some trust issues.

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#299632 - 08/06/21 12:08 PM Re: Planning for your death [Re: NAro]
chaosmagnet Offline
Sheriff
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/03/09
Posts: 3821
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: NAro
I think that's great, but please don't die unexpectedly.


That’s my plan.

I’m confident in my executor (my brother, if my wife isn’t available to serve) and in my children and their ability to handle this. My guess is that they would sell or otherwise dispose of things like books, tools, ham radio gear, and so on. And since I am not planning to leave anything to anyone else, I’m comfortable with the decisions they’ll make.

We recently ran into an issue where we had to make end of life decisions for someone who never told anyone what they would want, left no written instructions, and has been declared incompetent by a court. It’s far more complicated and unpleasant than I’m willing to share here, and it wasn’t fun to do. I took the opportunity provided by this lesson to spell out those things in my will, as well as to impart them to my close family so that there would be no misunderstandings. That’s way more important to me than who gets my favorite rifle.

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#299641 - 08/06/21 07:35 PM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
teacher Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 988
I think of this as legacy planning, and it might include:
_what do you own?
(including stocks, IP, businesses, etc.)
-Who do you owe?
not just debts, but also any ongoing projects, contracts, etc.
-What do you want done?
Not just funeral, but also donations, gifts, destruction of super powerful rings, etc.
- Where is it all?
this includes passwords, bank accounts, etc.

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#299649 - 08/07/21 06:05 AM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
haertig Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 03/13/05
Posts: 2322
Loc: Colorado
If you can't trust your executor with your passwords while you're still alive, how do you trust them with your estate after you're dead?

Safe deposit boxes are good places to put sensitive stuff that you want to keep private until after you're dead. Put a paper sheet in there with your passwords if you're worried about it.
Just don't forget to document which bank you maintain the box at.

Best thing you can do is make an appointment with an estate lawyer. Most likely they will recommend you set up a trust and move the vast majority of your assets to that trust. Then you can set up co-trustees (who you want to have access now) and/or successor trustees (who gain access after your death).

Things like insurance policies should have your spouse (or whoever) as the beneficiary, and then the trust as a secondary beneficiary. Rental properties should be owned by an LLC, and then the LLC is owned by the trust. Bank accounts should be in the name of the trust.

An estate lawyer is not free. But they're worth it to set up a good estate plan (which if done right, can most likely keep things totally out of probate - depends on your state though).

Online access to accounts is probably not as important as you think it is. Generally, your executor can gain access by supplying a death certificate and documents that specify him/her as executor (usually specified in your will). It is important to have these accounts documented for your executor, but online access details are not as important. Often times when someone dies access to their stuff will be locked down as soon as the powers-that-be find out about the death. Being a co-signer on a bank account won't help one bit when the account is frozen due to the death. A trust-owned account with co or successor trustees is better. Another reasonable plan is to move money that is immediately needed out of their account before they die, or second best, before the bank freezes the account. Move quick. The executor will eventually gain access to the frozen accounts, but that takes a while and funeral homes want to be paid immediately.

As far as finding stuff after you're gone, good luck! It's a nightmare for anyone trying to do that. My plan is to keep "the good stuff" more or less gathered together for family, leaving the crap stuff to be spread over the rest of the house. Then have your executor advertise a free-for-all for the masses. Grab-and-go without looking at what you're grabbing is $1 an armload. Taking more than a minute to grab a bundle costs $10 an armload. Purposely digging around to find the good stuff is $50 an armload, decreasing to $25 an armload as the house is mostly cleared of junk. If you try to too tightly manage your junk dispersal - most of which nobody but you wants anyway - will end up with your executor having a house full of junk they can't get rid of, praying for a fire to sweep through and burn the the place to the ground.

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#299664 - 08/08/21 08:44 AM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
Chisel Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/05
Posts: 1562
Good subject.

It would also be wise to add (if seriously ill or injured; Chris Reeves(superman) comes to mind) type of scenario. I have seen people in bed for many years before they died.

Regarding envelopes, I have given my oldest daughter a folder that contains everything, and I mean everything , including passwords ..etc.

BTW, don't forget to give your family a paper folder containing a list of services (phone, electric and water bills ..etc.) . Every month, I sit at the laptop and log-in the bank account which is linked to bill payment service, and pay the bills. A guy I know went to prison, and suddenly his family found themselves unable to pay the electric bills because (a) they couldn't access the bank account, (b) they didn't had access to his phone (which receives log-in confirmations codes) ; the phone was confiscated as evidence. So, the family was paralyzed although the guy is still alive !!!

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#299898 - 09/04/21 02:21 AM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
unimogbert Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 08/10/06
Posts: 882
Loc: Colorado
Sorry I'm late. I had to go help my sister clean out Mom's apartment after she died. Dad died in March, Mom in August.

After my wife died 4 years ago I rewrote my will then gave copies of the will, my master password to my password safe, a writeup of "my stuff", a thumbdrive with needed info and a key to my house to my primary (my sister) and my backup executor (an honorable former co-worker). I wear a dogtag around my neck with my primary executor's phone number (my sister - I have no children)

When my wife passed I learned the value of our password safe routine such that I had all her passwords to every account and could make needed changes far more easily than if I'd had to provide a death cert for everything.

In my Dad's case I had his passwords for email and Facebook so as he was fading out I could advise his huge number of friends of his deteriorating condition. I got back many, many notes of condolences and remembrance from those folks that I could read to him over the phone (I couldn't visit because I hadn't been able to get the vax yet) before he passed so he knew he was loved and respected. The most memorable was a quote from an old Naval Aviator and friend of 50 years who said "I'm going to cry myself to sleep tonite."

I recommend having a plan and having trustworthy people to execute it for you.

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#299916 - 09/05/21 03:58 AM Re: Planning for your death [Re: chaosmagnet]
nursetim Offline
Newbie

Registered: 08/29/06
Posts: 41
Loc: the last bastion of PHRASECENS...
Originally Posted By: chaosmagnet
Originally Posted By: Bingley
Is this an actual paper envelope, or is it some sort of service on the internet? I feel like there must be a way to store encrypted files that, upon the presentation of a death certificate and a will, can be made available to the executor.


It’s an actual paper envelope kept in a safe. I can envision circumstances where I’m not dead but my wife may still need access to things. And if there were a service like that you propose, I wouldn’t use it. Working in cybersecurity has given me some trust issues.


Being alive has given me major trust issues.
_________________________
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

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#299920 - 09/05/21 05:07 AM Re: Planning for your death [Re: Bingley]
Eugene Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/26/02
Posts: 2995
With accounts and passwords on paper in a safe, how often do you have to update/reprint?

I've been wondering about a dead man switch type of scenario https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_House_(1998_film)

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