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#298585 - 03/08/21 10:35 PM Corny Jokes
Jeanette_Isabelle Online   content
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 11/13/06
Posts: 2954
Loc: Nacogdoches, Texas
If you know of a good corny joke, post it here.

Question: Why was the Scarecrow always being promoted?

Answer: He is always outstanding in his field.

Jeanette Isabelle
_________________________
I'm not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago, but I admire the sadism. -- Wednesday Adams, Wednesday

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#298587 - 03/09/21 03:14 PM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
brandtb Offline
Addict

Registered: 11/26/04
Posts: 505
Loc: S.E. Pennsylvania
A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He tentatively approaches the deceased’s wife and asks whether he can say a word. The widow nods. The man clears his throat and says, “Plethora.” The widow smiles appreciatively. “Thank you,” she says. “That means a lot.”
_________________________
Univ of Saigon 68

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#298605 - 03/13/21 02:50 AM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
nursetim Offline
Newbie

Registered: 08/29/06
Posts: 41
Loc: the last bastion of PHRASECENS...
Why isn’t dark spelled with a “c”?

You can’t “c” in the dark.
_________________________
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

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#298608 - 03/13/21 02:32 PM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
brandtb Offline
Addict

Registered: 11/26/04
Posts: 505
Loc: S.E. Pennsylvania
According to a new report, adverse side effects occurred in over 3,000 women who used Botox last year—none of whom seemed surprised.
_________________________
Univ of Saigon 68

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#298683 - 03/23/21 12:27 AM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
Jeanette_Isabelle Online   content
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 11/13/06
Posts: 2954
Loc: Nacogdoches, Texas
Question: What's the difference between rats and squirrels?

Answer: The squirrels hired a better P.R. firm.

Jeanette Isabelle
_________________________
I'm not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago, but I admire the sadism. -- Wednesday Adams, Wednesday

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#298685 - 03/23/21 04:55 AM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
Herman30 Offline
Addict

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 501
Loc: Finland
We have a saying that a squirrel is a rat with fancier clothing.

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#298690 - 03/23/21 03:10 PM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
brandtb Offline
Addict

Registered: 11/26/04
Posts: 505
Loc: S.E. Pennsylvania
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in sentences often goes undetected.
_________________________
Univ of Saigon 68

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#298691 - 03/23/21 06:13 PM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
Jeanette_Isabelle Online   content
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 11/13/06
Posts: 2954
Loc: Nacogdoches, Texas
Question: Who invented the steam engine?

Answer: Watt is his name.

Jeanette Isabelle
_________________________
I'm not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago, but I admire the sadism. -- Wednesday Adams, Wednesday

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#298692 - 03/23/21 06:35 PM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
Herman30 Offline
Addict

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 501
Loc: Finland
About The Who-band.

"Who sang this?"
"Yes."
"Yes sang this?"
"No, Who sang this."
"Thats what im asking."
"Go to hell."

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#298693 - 03/23/21 07:38 PM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
Michael2 Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 10/07/04
Posts: 83
Question: Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Answer: Because 7 8 9.

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#298699 - 03/25/21 12:48 PM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Herman30]
UncleGoo Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 390
Loc: CT
Originally Posted By: Herman30
About The Who-band.

"Who sang this?"
"Yes."
"Yes sang this?"
"No, Who sang this."
"Thats what im asking."
"Go to hell."


There's a whole parody of this on youtube (Who, Guess Who, & Yes).
Search there for:
The Credibility Gap - The Rock Festival (Who's On First?)
_________________________
Improvise,
Utilize,
Realize.

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#298736 - 03/31/21 05:53 PM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
Monk Offline
Stranger

Registered: 10/06/10
Posts: 9
Loc: Alabama
Do you know when the worst time is to have a heart attack?

During charades.
_________________________
Thanx
Monk

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#298869 - 04/19/21 07:53 PM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
wolffromwv Offline
Stranger

Registered: 04/14/21
Posts: 9
Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Ahhhhh.

Ahhhhh who?

Werewolves of London...

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#298870 - 04/19/21 10:08 PM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
haertig Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 03/13/05
Posts: 2322
Loc: Colorado
I was up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

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#300000 - 09/12/21 01:00 AM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
Hanscom Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 11/23/05
Posts: 86
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws on the ends of its paws.
A comma has a pause at the end of its clause.

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#302383 - 04/19/24 11:47 PM Re: Corny Jokes [Re: Jeanette_Isabelle]
Jeanette_Isabelle Online   content
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 11/13/06
Posts: 2954
Loc: Nacogdoches, Texas
The tale unfolded around a pregnant woman who fell into a coma. When she finally awoke, she was met with a startling revelation—she had given birth to twins, a baby boy and a baby girl. However, the nurse had some unsettling news for her. The nurse informed the new mother, "Your brother has already named your children."

The new mother's face contorted with dread and curiosity as she braced herself for her brother's unique taste in names. 'Oh no, what has he bestowed upon my innocent babies?' she quivered, fearing the worst.

"The girl's name is Deniece," replied the nurse.

The new mother's face lit up with relief and joy upon hearing a name she found beautiful. Feeling optimistic, she asked, "And what is my little boy's name?"

The nurse caught between amusement and disbelief, hesitated before delivering the final blow. 'Denephew,' she finally uttered, a hint of a smile playing on her lips, as if even she couldn't fathom the absurdity of the name.
_________________________
I'm not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago, but I admire the sadism. -- Wednesday Adams, Wednesday

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