For fun, I was thinking of having characters, real or fictional, answer the age-old question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Pick any character and answer in his or her particular style.

Yukino Houjou from Gate Keepers and Gatekeepers 21:

Until now, I have told of it tens and hundreds of times
but every chicken disappears.
As like I am watching cherry blossoms bloom and fall
I wonder why chickens cross the road only to die.
Every chicken disappears. . . .
They can go nowhere.

Jeanette Isabelle

Klingon: Because it did not have the courage to face us in honorable battle!

Romulan: Clearly, the chicken is up to something.

Ferengi: Because someone forgot to put up fencing to direct it to the toll crossing, which I will be happy to erect in exchange for a 50% share of the tolls collected from it.

Lantean: The sole purpose of a chicken is to one day cross the road.

Jeanette Isabelle

Malcolm X: The chicken did not cross the road. The road crossed the chicken.

MLK: I have a dream that one day every chicken can cross the road.

Jeanette Isabelle

Morpheus: Chicken, here you must decide which road to cross: The Left Road or the Right Road? Cross the Left Road and the story ends, you wake up in your nest in the coop and believe whatever you want to believe. Cross the Right Road, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

Dr. Brown: Where the chicken is going, there are no roads.

Gadget, Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers: Well, there are a variety of options. Presumably, it either wished to reach a goal on the opposite side of the road, such as a large quantity of corn, or maybe someone it had to talk to, or evade something on the side it started on, which is actually a lot more likely because few goals are worth the danger of crossing a road, unless its the middle of the night or something and there are no cars around, something like a large and aggressive cat or dog, or maybe a fox, I mean, the common response of a chicken threatened in such a manner would be to flee, although a road also presents a certain amount of danger to a chicken so it would either have to be pretty overwhelming danger or a chicken who wasn't chicken, I mean, he'd still be a chicken, but, he wouldn't be as chicken, while still, of course, remaining a chicken.

Jeanette Isabelle

Myth Busters

Adam: Today, we have an excellent myth to bust!
Jamie: And what would that be?
Adam: Why did the chicken cross the road!
Jamie: I think that is more of a rhetorical question than an actual myth.
Adam: First, we get 100 chickens, and then we find a road for them to cross. Hmmm. I-80 sounds like a good road to bust this myth on.
Jamie: Uhm.
Adam: Yes, and we can get Torry, Carrie, and Grant and help out on this one!
Jamie: That's it. I'm out of here. I'm not going to be responsible for the slaughter of 100 live chickens.

Jamie walks out, eating a chicken breast sandwich he had with him.

Jeanette Isabelle

I was told that the reason the chicken crossed the road was because it couldn't go around it.

I look forward to the day when a chickens motives are no longer questioned.....

Who said that?

Jeanette Isabelle

He didn't cross the road, because he chickened out.

Seen on a sign in a Fried Chicken place locally to me.

Since we're all goofy enough for dad jokes at this point, here you go:

- Why did the chicken cross the road? He was feeling cooped up!

- Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone egged him on!

- Why did the chicken cross the road? To beak off at the neighbours!

- Why did the chicken cross the road? He was bucking the trend!

- Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't have enough scratch to pay the rent!

- Why did the rooster cross the road? He was hen-kering for fresh company!

I can make them worse on request. Let me know.

Quartermaster: The chicken always was on our side of the road. We´ll have it for dinner.
"Rooster" Coburn: If you think you need to be on the other side, cross that road.

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks across the road into mine.

Terry Malloy: He wasn't a bad chicken, that Joey.

Hood #1: He was a canary.

Hood #2: Maybe he could sing but he couldn't fly.

Terry Malloy: He shoulda crossed the road.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

You know how to whistle, don't you, chicken. You just put your lips together and blow.

Oh, sorry . . .

I love the smell of napalmed chicken in the morning.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I made him an offer he couldn't refuse.

I'm just a chicken, standing in front of a ditch, asking it to be a road.

If we cross that road I don't think we'll be in Kansas anymore.

These are really good!

Haha, keep going brandtb, you're on a roll!

Why did the stand-up comedian chicken cross the road?

He thought you said "rude!"

I'm running out of classic movies.

So you gonna cross the road, chicken? Do you feel lucky today? Well do ya?

Every time a chicken crosses the road, an angel gets his wings.

Say hello to my little chicken!

Leave the chicken. Take the cannoli across the road.

Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to take me across the road, aren't you?

You can't handle the road!

Hello. My name is Inigo Pullet. You ran over my father. Prepare to die.

Yippie-ki-yay, chicken plucker!

One of my favorite Christmas movies.

Jeanette Isabelle

A chicken once tried to cross my road. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

I'm walkin' here! I'm walkin' here across this road!

Round up the usual chickens.

If you build it, he will cross it.

Keep your friends close, but your chickens closer.

Of all the chicken coops in all the towns in all the world, she crosses the road into mine.

A classic Libertarian Chicken!

[img]http://i.imgur.com/7EnESbk.jpg?1[/img]

Yeah, that fits the type. (But the image isn't displaying btw.)

Wonder if there's hardware is tucked under those wings?

And yet, a philosophical question arises: How did that libertarian chicken propose to pay for the paved road he crossed? Bet it wasn't paid for in feathers.

For awhile I couldn't get images to post,then things worked fine. Now it seems they're not posting again.

Fixed.

Jeanette Isabelle

So... I get up today and am surfing through some of my favorite web sites post breakfast (of which this is a primary one) and I run across this wonderful post!

Thanks!

I laughed right out loud!

Paul -

Thanks, Jeanette_Isabelle!