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#277150 - 10/20/15 07:54 PM Being the gray man
TeacherRO Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 03/11/05
Posts: 2574
Do you think about blending in? Are you making decisions when shopping to look as boring as possible? (ABAP).

TRO

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#277153 - 10/20/15 08:25 PM Re: Being the gray man [Re: TeacherRO]
hikermor Offline
Geezer in Chief
Geezer

Registered: 08/26/06
Posts: 7705
Loc: southern Cal
I worry about a lot of things, but not about being a "gray man." I usually purchase gear and clothing on the basis of how it performs in the intended environment,not on how it looks. The profile the item might project is of little or no concern to me.

When going on a project or a trip, backpacking or whatever, i usually make it a point to include an article of clothing that is quite bright, if not indeed gaudy. I have spent way too much time looking for dudes who were said to be wearing faded blue jeans and a tan shirt. Still looking for some of them.

That said, there are times when you want to be inconspicuous, and times when you want to stand out. One of the best items I ever had was a reversible down jacket, loden (dull) green on one side and international orange on the other - worked great!
_________________________
Geezer in Chief

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#277156 - 10/20/15 10:55 PM Re: Being the gray man [Re: TeacherRO]
LesSnyder Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 07/11/10
Posts: 1680
Loc: New Port Richey, Fla
I did when I was off duty or on leave in certain places in SEA... not so much in the US...

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#277159 - 10/20/15 11:56 PM Re: Being the gray man [Re: TeacherRO]
chaosmagnet Offline
Sheriff
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/03/09
Posts: 3819
Loc: USA
In urban areas? All day every day. I work to blend in...until I choose not to.

There are times that letting a potential assailant know that you're watching can defuse the situation. When a small escalation is needed, I've asked people politely to stop approaching me or my car -- "That's close enough," delivered firmly will stop most people in their tracks. A few times I've needed to get loud enough for everyone to notice.

Traveling for work is not always fun.

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#277165 - 10/21/15 02:11 AM Re: Being the gray man [Re: TeacherRO]
barbakane Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 03/12/09
Posts: 205
Loc: Florida
The only time I intentionally want to be noticed is at theme parks so my family can spot me easier. Being Florida, I usually wear a thin polyester crew tshirt, Tour de France yellow so I stand out... and look good in the process. Other wise, I dress well for the situation and have backups in the car...black rainjacket in summer and dark blue fleece jacket in "winter". Life's too short for boring.
_________________________
seeking to balance risk and reward
Audaces fortuna iuvat...fortune favors the bold
Practice methodical caution...Les Stroud

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#277168 - 10/21/15 06:42 AM Re: Being the gray man [Re: TeacherRO]
Chisel Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/05
Posts: 1562
Forgive me for not answering the question directly.
My post is more like ranting. Sorry.

I am semi-retired and try to have a day every other week "hiding" from everyone including my own family. Just to relax and do what I REALLY want to do or think about without interruption. I found this nice cafe in a neighboring town. Serves nice breakfast and, in the morning, there hardly anyone else. I visited it twice and found it was the paradise I needed to relaxxx. At last.

My tense muscles and overworked brain didn't have enough time to really relax when I heard a story or two about some crimes in quiet places; one in a public park in the early morning, and one in a quiet area not far away. Immediatley my paranoia kicked in to draw all kinds of scenarios ... Someone with a gun entering the secluded cafe and taking the wallet and phone, or worse ... shooting.

A few days ago, a taxi driver was shot , and the car was taken away. The crime was not committed to rob him or in revenge of something, he was a "nobody", or a gray man, but the assialant needed a car - any car - to commit another crime. So, the "nobody" taxi driver got shot.

I am now tossing the coin and wondering if I should go there next week.

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#277173 - 10/21/15 01:49 PM Re: Being the gray man [Re: Chisel]
Russ Offline
Geezer

Registered: 06/02/06
Posts: 5357
Loc: SOCAL
of course you should go, take a G19 wink
I dress to blend. If I'm in a room full of suits, I wear a suit, but I never wear "camouflage" and I rarely see a need to take my G19 along wink

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#277178 - 10/21/15 04:53 PM Re: Being the gray man [Re: TeacherRO]
Mark_F Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 06/24/09
Posts: 714
Loc: Kentucky
With all the tacti-cool stuff out there these days, does anyone else feel like you almost stand out MORE trying to be the "grey man?"
_________________________
Uh ... does anyone have a match?

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#277182 - 10/21/15 07:08 PM Re: Being the gray man [Re: TeacherRO]
Tom_L Offline
Addict

Registered: 03/19/07
Posts: 690
I do try to keep a low profile in general, maybe even more so outdoors. Blending in with the environment has always seemed like a good idea to me. Much easier to get closer to wildlife and basically create less of a signature, particularly if you know how to move quietly. To me, that makes for a more enjoyable experience in the woods because it lets me get closer to the natural environment.

A lot of my outdoor gear and clothing is military surplus but I do try to stay away from camo as much as possible. I guess G.I. Joe look is not quite to my taste. Besides, it makes you stand out in a somewhat more civilized setting, which defeats the whole idea of blending in in the first place.

I realize full well that my preference for olive drab or subdued colors in general poses a risk in case I ever get lost or need rescue. Hikermor makes a good point - having at least one article of clothing that stands out from the environment could be a big asset in a rescue situation. A bright red or orange plastic bag would work fine, too - and doubles as an emergency poncho or bivy bag.

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#277192 - 10/21/15 08:34 PM Re: Being the gray man [Re: TeacherRO]
Bingley Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 1576
Can someone explain to me when and why you want to be a "gray man"?

People seem to use "blending in" interchangeably with being a "gray man." I'll tell you a story about my friend blending in. He moved to a foreign country, and his language skills weren't quite up to speed. But he wanted to fit in with his friends and acquaintances over there. So he never left a get-together early because he couldn't understand the conversation. He stayed and drank with everybody. For him that was blending in. Is that what you mean by blending in, you know, drinking with your buddies?

I'm not making fun. It seems to me that the whole "gray man" thing has to do with personal safety, rather than a host of other reasons that you might want to blend in during peace time (make friends, have a good time). The latter are not survival concerns. But if we're talking about "dressing to blend in," then in a lost of survival situations, it's a bad idea. You want to be noticed by rescuers and other hikers, hunters, etc.

I don't know about what's in your closet, but I'd think in most situations in peace time, it would take a lot NOT to blend in. Besides, Halloween is coming up...

If we're talking about civil unrest, invading armies, etc., then maybe it's a different game. But I am guessing what counts as "gray" can vary from situation to situation.

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