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#202742 - 05/31/10 06:57 PM Re: Relationships for Survival [Re: MDinana]
Jesselp Offline
What's Next?
Enthusiast

Registered: 07/19/07
Posts: 266
Loc: New York
Actually, I think my wife did OK. It really was an odd situation - we had litterally closed on a new house that morning (in the same community we've been living in for the past 18-months). She and the kids were exploring the new home while I went to work to try and pay for the mortgage note I had just signed shocked . There were no phone books or internet connections in the house that she could use to look up a locksmith. She couldn't leave the house with the 2-year old trapped, and she also had to look after our 4-year old who was in the house as well.

The first thing I told her was to look for a nail or a wire coat hanger and to push it through the hole on her side of the door knob. Apparently, the sellers had done a really good job of cleaning out the house because there was nothing whatsoever in the house she could use as a tool to get into the room. She also tried on her own, but failed to jimmy the latch with a credit card, and then called me for help. She figured I would probably know the quickest was to get the door open, and it turns out she was right!

Interestingly, when I asked her how the officer opened the door, she said he used his folding knife, which looked exactly like the folding knife that I carry. I think that made a big impression on her as to why I always carry a knife, and why I'm trying to get her to do the same.

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#202757 - 05/31/10 10:58 PM Re: Relationships for Survival [Re: Jesselp]
dougwalkabout Offline
Crazy Canuck
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/03/07
Posts: 3076
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Overall, a network of family and neighbours is hugely important. We humans are still in existence only because we can (sort of) work together. Teamwork and trust, within families and communities, makes the world go 'round.

I agree, your wife did all right. She had effective communications, knew who to call, and got it done. She didn't freeze, and didn't leave the kids unattended.

If I may suggest, the follow-up from you might be a casual discussion along the lines of "you did great; what would Plan C have been?" Throw in a few ideas without getting too heavy. 911 would be high on the list, of course. But from a self-sufficiency point of view, maybe talk about what tools were in the car that might have helped (tire iron?). What's the family priority, protecting the woodwork or the kids? Stuff is easy to replace, break it if you have a good reason.

My $0.02.


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#202759 - 05/31/10 11:13 PM Re: Relationships for Survival [Re: dougwalkabout]
Art_in_FL Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2432
Quote:
It really was an odd situation - we had litterally closed on a new house that morning (in the same community we've been living in for the past 18-months). She and the kids were exploring the new home while I went to work to try and pay for the mortgage note I had just signed shocked . There were no phone books or internet connections in the house that she could use to look up a locksmith. She couldn't leave the house with the 2-year old trapped, and she also had to look after our 4-year old who was in the house as well.


My original estimate, not that I have any right to judge, was that she did better than some. There are some real pieces of work out there who have royally fornicated with the football in less stressful situations. Given the further revelation of context I think she did as well as anyone had any reason to expect. Without tools, previous knowledge, and backup, unable to leave, she didn't have many options and did quite well.

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#202762 - 05/31/10 11:50 PM Re: Relationships for Survival [Re: Jesselp]
MDinana Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 03/08/07
Posts: 2200
Loc: Beer&Cheese country
Originally Posted By: Jesselp
Actually, I think my wife did OK. It really was an odd situation - we had litterally closed on a new house that morning (in the same community we've been living in for the past 18-months). She and the kids were exploring the new home while I went to work to try and pay for the mortgage note I had just signed shocked . There were no phone books or internet connections in the house that she could use to look up a locksmith. She couldn't leave the house with the 2-year old trapped, and she also had to look after our 4-year old who was in the house as well.

Yeah, I suppose she did better than I originally thought too. Yeah, she could have left (I mean, c'mon, the kid's already alone in the room. He doesn't know if she's on the other side of the door). She shouldn't have...

Anyway, apparently she had a cell phone? 411 works on them too. But, whatever, I'm being nitpicky - she did what she had to do, improvised, etc. Situation resolved without casualty. Mission accomplished!

Good idea on the after-action follow up. Did she have tools in the car that she could have used? (she didn't? time to look up car kits! She did? What better time to use them?!)

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#202781 - 06/01/10 06:32 AM Re: Relationships for Survival [Re: Jesselp]
MostlyHarmless Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 06/03/09
Posts: 982
Loc: Norway
Originally Posted By: Jesselp
Actually, I think my wife did OK.


So do I smile


I think there is some gender difference at play here, too. My wife will call me / her sister / her mom whenever things are hard. I think seeking the console and sympathy of others is a healthy impulse which is more dominant in females.

Myself, I try to do everything myself. Even at to point where some assistance or even just having a listener would be highly beneficial. That, I think, is a very typical male way of doing things.


Nothing wrong with either impulse, whatever gets the job done and all that. As always, finding the balance greatly improves things. My wife is pretty resourceful and by no means helpless if on-the-phone or in-person consolation is not available. But I could learn to ask for help earlier. And I do think asking for help or a listener is more healthy than trying to do everything all by yourself. No matter how well equipped, some tasks will be just to exhaustive to deal with all by yourself.

And helping others have its own rewards and merits. Art_in_FL summarized pretty good why humans evolved in communities, not in isolation. The just-2-parents-and-2-kids family is a pretty recent invention.


Edited by MostlyHarmless (06/01/10 06:37 AM)

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#202793 - 06/01/10 02:10 PM Re: Relationships for Survival [Re: MostlyHarmless]
dougwalkabout Offline
Crazy Canuck
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/03/07
Posts: 3076
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Well said!

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#203166 - 06/10/10 02:47 AM Re: Relationships for Survival [Re: dougwalkabout]
ireckon Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/01/10
Posts: 1629
Loc: Northern California
I include my girlfriend in the important survival skills I learn. She rolls her eyes a lot of times. If a little sinks in, then it's better than nothing.
_________________________
If you're reading this, it's too late.

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#203493 - 06/15/10 02:55 PM Re: Relationships for Survival [Re: ireckon]
alanz Offline
Stranger

Registered: 06/07/10
Posts: 4
Originally Posted By: ireckon
I include my girlfriend in the important survival skills I learn. She rolls her eyes a lot of times. If a little sinks in, then it's better than nothing.


I can relate to this. Be careful not to pressure her into this stuff or give her the impression that you're a "crazy survivalist." Instead treat it like a hobby and share it with her when opportunities arise. Hopefully she'll come around.

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#203506 - 06/15/10 08:30 PM Re: Relationships for Survival [Re: ireckon]
Susan Offline
Geezer

Registered: 01/21/04
Posts: 5163
Loc: W. WA
"I include my girlfriend in the important survival skills I learn. She rolls her eyes a lot of times. If a little sinks in, then it's better than nothing."

Just wait until the time she needs it. The light bulb will go on.

Sue

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#203526 - 06/16/10 01:20 PM Re: Relationships for Survival [Re: ireckon]
chaosmagnet Offline
Sheriff
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/03/09
Posts: 3691
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: ireckon
I include my girlfriend in the important survival skills I learn. She rolls her eyes a lot of times. If a little sinks in, then it's better than nothing.


My wife was pretty irritated with me when I asked her to bring the BOB I built for her on a camping trip with her Girl Scout Troop. She brought it under protest.

She used the multitool, the first aid kit, and the flashlight in the BOB on that trip. Nobody had thought to bring a knife or a first aid kit, and the cheap incan flashlight that she bought at Target broke within the first few minutes.

Now she keeps the BOB in her car. She knows what's in it and lets me know when items are used so that I can restock it.

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