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#142900 - 08/05/08 11:31 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: JohnE]
benjammin Offline
Rapscallion
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 4020
Loc: Anchorage AK
It is more the type of work I do that ensures I pretty much have a lock on my career. I've tried to get away from it even, and been drug back kicking and screaming. It's not necessarily this employer or any of the others I've worked for, it is that there is such a great need and so few who can do it. It is like a Dirty Harry thing. You know, any dirty job that comes along. When projects start having problems, and there are always plenty that do, I get called to go find out what's wrong and fix it. That's what I do now, and I've built up this reputation that makes people think I am good at it. Go figure...

It's not so much that I am irreplacable, more that I have offers thrown at me regularly, and if what I am working on now were to fold up or they got tired of me, I would be back at it doing the same thing next week for someone else, for pretty much the same compensation I have now, more or less. Corporate bosses like to get paid, and my techniques deliver where a lot of others fail or give up. It's not that I am anything special, I just got lucky a few times and figured out what works and what doesn't most of the time.

I too once owned a business, part of a partnership. We lost it because the partner with the most capital invested got his lawyers involved and lawyers will only speculate on a sure thing. We had a good thing going, and I was able to clear $15k the first quarter. I know how your situation feels.

I am more of a Taoist myself, in that I feel you should have what you want so long as it is within your means. Balance for me doesn't necessarily mean doing with less, unless that is all there is.

No offense from the rat quote, I've heard it before, and I have to say, doing what I do, I feel like a trapped rat a lot of times.
_________________________
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

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#142912 - 08/05/08 01:52 PM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: dweste]
dweste Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 02/16/08
Posts: 2463
Loc: Central California
For me it has been a tough couple of years of seeing things fall apart and go downhill. Relationships, business, community, money, family member's health, etc. all have gone negative.

Lots of self-doubt along the way. Lots of disappointment in other people. I was over-extended and taking chances in life that made little sense.

This forum has helped me regain focus on what survival and preparedness mean. It is not about doing, it is about doing the right thing. It is not about stuff, it is about having the right stuff. And above all it is about always learning and practicing doing the right thing with the right stuff.

So I resolved to slow down, downsize, retreat to a firm foundation, take some time to regroup, and then start over. I am in the downsize-retreat portion of the program.

I am conserving and concentrating my resources for a positive, new start. I am posiitoning myself to encounter challenges from a better, more playful and adventurous place within my resources and well-thought-out boundaries.

From the outside I am sure it looks bad to be giving up so much, but from the inside I think I am regaining the only things that have true value. I guess time will tell.


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#142918 - 08/05/08 02:53 PM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: dweste]
benjammin Offline
Rapscallion
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 4020
Loc: Anchorage AK
Making do with what you have, isn't that our motto, more or less? There's lots of things that can come into our lives and upset the best laid plans, sometimes they are real acute and obvious, as with a hurricane or earthquake, sometimes more subtle, such as heart disease or drifting apart or a change in the economy. Whenever it is we realize that we are not so much in command of our fates as we would like, it is then that the survival perspective we cultivate on this forum and elsewhere serves our ability to "weather the storm".

It is in our nature to surround ourselves with all sorts of comforts, both literal and philosophical, in an attempt to make life seem less strenuous than it really is. It is part of an illusion we create for ourselves so that the ever-present knowledge of how feeble we really are isn't staring us in the face all the time. Such an illusion placates us, and draws us into complacency. Then when reality comes to call, we get stressed out and exacerbate the effects in our mind to the point that we compound our suffering by fret and worry.

The truth is, for the vast majority of us, we are much less in control of our own destiny than we convince ourselves we are. It takes constant effort to remain aware and vigilant that whatever we have, accomplish, or pursue in life, we are as likely, if not moreso, to lose it, to miss the mark, or to otherwise realize that having is not so great a thing as wanting.

I commend you for being able to recover your wits enough to realize what is truly important, and the real worth of the things in your life, both permanent and temporary, and to be able to distinguish between the two. Health, relationships, possessions and social status are all things we like to pursue, but remain things we cannot control, and inevitably become liabilities to our life's journey if we put more stock in them than they deserve. You have a little knowledge, and a means of getting by in life. That is most often enough. Everything else can either be replaced or is unavoidable, neither of which is worth worrying about that much.

Movies like "Click" are connotative models of learning that we can get our life's priorities a bit skewed, and once in a while need to get a good dose of perspective. Sometimes it is easier to take, sometimes not so much, but it happens, sooner or later, to all of us.
_________________________
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

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#142950 - 08/05/08 08:51 PM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: NightHiker]
comms Offline
Veteran

Registered: 07/23/08
Posts: 1502
Loc: Mesa, AZ
Night Hiker, you hit it right on the head. Couldn't have said it better...and I tried.

dweste, your not overexposing yourself by your admission. I think your brave for doing it because you seem uncomfortable about voicing it. Stay strong and Ever Forward.


Edited by comms (08/05/08 08:55 PM)
_________________________
Don't just survive. Thrive.

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#142976 - 08/06/08 01:27 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: dweste]
nursemike Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 870
Loc: wellington, fl
Originally Posted By: dweste

Lots of self-doubt along the way. Lots of disappointment in other people. I was over-extended and taking chances in life that made little sense.

In my experience-

Few of the people in the world have the skills and abilities to even begin to manage a business and to be successful at it for a while.
You have those skills and abilities.

Few of the people in the world have the insight to see what they did wrong, and lack the integrity to admit, to themselves or others, that they made a mistake.
You have insight and integrity.

Few of the people in the world can examine their lives and develop a plan to make a change, and fewer still can express their plans, doubts and fears in a coherent and compelling fashion.
You can do these things.

Most folks let their lives happen to them, and proceed into time governed by simple momentum. You have taken control of your life, developed a plan, discarded the things that don't fit the plan, and gone to work to make things better. The plan may be successful or unsuccessful. Whatever way it turns out, you will learn from it, and be stronger and wiser in developing the next plan.

Bad things and good things happen to us, and those things don't matter. Our response to them matters. You seem to be responding just about as well as it can be done.

Feeling uncertain and tentative in pursuing the new plan is a lot healthier than feeling arrogantly self-confident.

You are a powerful and intelligent guy. It shows in your observations and in the way you express them. The things you will be doing will be difficult and dangerous, frustrating and frightening-but I can guarantee that it will not be boring.
_________________________
Dance like you have never been hurt, work like no one is watching,love like you don't need the money.

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#142978 - 08/06/08 01:45 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: nursemike]
BobS Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 02/08/08
Posts: 924
Loc: Toledo Ohio
The only thing you need for success is motivation, with it you can overcome anything, learn anything, do anything.

It really is that simple. But you have to be motivated, and most people aren’t
_________________________



You can run, but you'll only die tired.


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#142984 - 08/06/08 02:14 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: BobS]
comms Offline
Veteran

Registered: 07/23/08
Posts: 1502
Loc: Mesa, AZ
Originally Posted By: BobS
The only thing you need for success is motivation, with it you can overcome anything, learn anything, do anything.

It really is that simple. But you have to be motivated, and most people aren’t


Something similar to that, "Hold on to a dream for five years and it will become a reality. Unfortunately most people can't hold onto a dream for five minutes."
_________________________
Don't just survive. Thrive.

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#142985 - 08/06/08 02:26 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: comms]
BobS Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 02/08/08
Posts: 924
Loc: Toledo Ohio
I have been holding on to the dream of a rich super model not being able to live without me in her life for longer then 5-years.

Still waiting for that knock on the door…
_________________________



You can run, but you'll only die tired.


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#142987 - 08/06/08 02:31 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: BobS]
JohnE Offline
Addict

Registered: 06/10/08
Posts: 601
Loc: Southern Cal
Well there's dreams, and then there's pure fantasy too...;^)

John E
_________________________
JohnE

"and all the lousy little poets
comin round
tryin' to sound like Charlie Manson"

The Future/Leonard Cohen


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#142993 - 08/06/08 03:33 AM Re: Starting over, looking for adventure, etc.? [Re: JohnE]
BobS Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 02/08/08
Posts: 924
Loc: Toledo Ohio
Yea I know.
_________________________



You can run, but you'll only die tired.


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