Even if I were to stoop that low, I can't afford to pay her what she thinks she is worth...

You don't have a nickle?? OOPS, you said "what she thinks she is worth", sorry. I read that as what others think she is worth.

Ah, the "Madcap Heiress." If this were a '30s movie, she'd meet some gruff survival expert (say Chris Kavanaugh) and they would be thrown together in a screwball comedy, in which a series of hilarious situations would be caused by humorous contratemps and improbable coincidences. They would start out hating each other, but come to a grudging mutual admiration based upon his rugged individuality and skill in extracting her from danger, and her plucky good humor. Admiration would kindle into love, but in the third reel they would quarrel over some misunderstanding.

The survival expert would storm into her father's Manhattan office demanding recompense. Imagining that he had a fortune hunter on his hands, the father would summon Building Security. As he was being dragged away, the survival expert would yell, "Eighteen dollars and seventeen cents!"

Intrigued, the father would call him back. "Eighteen dollars, you say?"

"And seventeen cents! I have receipts!" the survival expert digs into the cargo pocket in his trail pants and throws a packet of papers onto the father's desk. "Everything I needed to replenish my BOB after your worthless daughter got us into this fix. I'm throwing in the MREs and Bandaids for free! You can send me a check!"

The father, of course, arranges for him to pick up the check where Paris is doing community service for her indecent exposure conviction. They reconcile in an embrace, and the movie ends.

I propose Cary Grant to play Cris, and Jean Harlow for Paris.

Naa, Harlow was too good looking to play Hilton. Having never seen Chris, I can not comment on Grant...