Things People Say That Drive Me Crazy

"I'm Starving"

Or any variation there of. Especially in commercials on TV, like the ones from that fast food place.

People in this country do not know what starvation is. Maybe in the past they did, but certainly not in the present.

"I'm starving" makes my teeth cringe.

That reminds me of a sort of funny story... My ambulance has to park in 5 square block radius from assigned spot so dispatching computer can calculate my ETAs to assigments. On one of the corners there is a homeless guy we call "Pookey". I'm on the first name basis with half the bums and drunks in Blyn. With some of them it's a hate relationship, some of them I don't mind. Pookey is the one that I don't mind. He is semi clean, doesn't bother anyone and is funny as hell. So one day I get this sandwich from the store they call "Park Slopy". Basically it is a layer of roast beef, layer of cheese, layer of french fries, layer of onions and peppers. Needless to say I ate half the sandwich and I'm full. I hate wasting or reheating food so I take half the sandwich and bring it to Pookie. He has the balls to turn around and say: "What we are working with here partner?" Kind of got me stunned. Few hours earlier he was picking food out of garbage and now he is picking and choosing clean food. The story ends with him taking the food. But it got me curious so I asked him what wouldnt he eat and he said that he doesnt like fish or spicy food. When I asked him what is better: to starve or to eat fish and he told me that no matter what he can get any food he wants since people just throw it away.

Yep, no one need starve in the US. I think we had a good post about this a couple years ago.

Now SERE training had me pretty hungry, but then I had ants and grass stalks and an armadillo, so it wasn't totally bad. I wouldn't recommend the armadillo, though, at least not the way we had to prepare him.

After that exercise, they took us to a chow hall and fed us smashed peanut butter sandwiches and reconsitituted powdered milk. My mouth was watering so bad that I couldn't open it to say Thank you when I got mine. I didn't get sick afterwards, though a fair number didn't listen to the instructions given beforehand and lost their lunch.

It is amazing how your mindset changes when you haven't eaten in a few days. A big scoop of pure lard or a handful of butter even sounds doable, or a bag of fishing bait even.

To venture away from food a bit, I used to hate it when I would stop some yo-yo for going 120 mph, and when I walked up to his vehicle he would look at me with this blank stare and say "what's the problem officer?" My usual answer was that the problem was deciding if I was going to write him a ticket or take him to jail. That usually wiped that blank look away real fast...

Hey OBG,

I had an experience from the other side of the equation. A couple of years ago a New York State Trooper stopped me for speeding. He asked me, "Sir, do you know why I stopped you?" I said, "Yep. I was speeding." The look of shock and surprise on his face still haunts me to this day. Then he said, "You know, you're the first guy all day who told me the truth." Then he handed me my license back and said, "Get out of here."

Anyway, back on topic, I guess the phrase that drives me crazy has to be "Have a nice day" from someone who could not care less how my day is going.

Having had a few jobs where I was required to say that, I usually meant it when I said it, I hoped most people was having a better day than I was- never a good day in the pink collar sector. And unless the manager was around, I didn't say it when I hoped someone's day would suck for them.

I always started off with "Good afernoon sir, I stopped you for speeding." That way if he had just killed his wife or something, he might figure that I was just going to write him a speeding ticket, and not try to shoot me while I was busy writing. That was how I was trained, and it worked for me. I would then ask if he had any idea how fast he had been going, the truthfulness of his answer had a direct bearing on how much of a break I gave...

God bless ya. I can't even imagine having a job where every interaction with Joe Public might end up in gun play. But if you overreact, you're looking at a lawsuit and a headline in the LA Times.

In California, I'm amazed you expected an answer in English.

M

Como?

Like every job, it has its good point and bad points. Before the CHP I worked in the oil fields, which was actually more dangerous, and there are more highway workers killed on the job every year than peace officers, it just isn't as news worthy. Last I heard, insurance companies say that the flight deck of an aircraft carrier is one of the most dangerous workplaces there are. But peace officers are the ones who get the complaints and lawsuits...

I'm glad it worked out for you that time. I always remain silent and let the officer tell me why he stopped me. Confessing may indeed be good for the soul but it hasn't done squat for my driving record. I don't get many tickets but admitting I was speeding never seemed to reduce their number any. The last one I got I was doing about 50 in a 40. The officer wrote the ticket for 4 over.

Amazing. I never wrote one for less than ten over in 30+ years...

That's why I drove 64 mph on the freeways all the time.

The one that gets me is when someone says they "could care less" about something. Usually it is intended as a statement of minimal interest, but most people drop the contraction and it ends up meaning the opposite of what was intended.

I will note for the record that DesertFox got it right in this thread. Congrats.

Didn't work for me. I said Sorry I was speeding because I was late for work. He came back with my ticket later. First one I've had in 10 years, you think he would have accounted for that a little bit.

Never wrote one unless they were doing 13+ and most days it's 15+

I think the one that gets on my nerves most is when people say “nucular”.

I always had the impression that the worst thing you can tell an officer who has pulled you over is that you don't know what the speed limit is and you have no idea how fast you were going.

Ignorance and inattentiveness do not make anyone want to give you a break.

If you can say you know how fast you were going, at least he knows you were paying *some* attention to your driving.

BTW, more on topic: When people say they are "nauseous", I tell them that I agree, they do make me nauseated.

You bring up an important side issue. You don't know if the officer stopping you just recently experienced a shooting event. I learned the easy way (by not thinking and being stupid) about keeping my hands in plain sight. When I get stopped, I pull my wallet out of my back pocket (left hand) and hold the wheel w/my left hand (w/wallet in plain sight). Then I reach over to the glove box (after stopping, by the way), get my car's papers (registration and insurance) and place the right hand (w/the paperwork in plain sight), let the officer see my hands are full of wallet and paperwork, then I get out of the car and go to the rear and wait for him.
An officer once asked me for my wallet and I reached for it too fast and when I had it out and looked up, I had a 9mm pointed halfway at me (and on it's way back to the holster). I don't do stupid things like that anymore plus I always keep my hands in plain sight now while moving slow.
Officers have family that they want to get home to, like the rest of us! I certainly don't want to do their job (w/my sterling personality, I'd last about 1 day before being fired)

You are the dream violator, one who might have broken a speed law, but does not want to scare the officer (always a bad thing)...

Ha, the last two tickets I got for speeding occurred while having intense verbal communications with my daughters. They were not pleased when dad missed passing the cop while going too fast. I can imagine the look they gave the officer when he handed me the ticket, after I just got after them for something, now they would be getting another, much heavier dose of it. I am certain they would rather have got the ticket themselves than to have been the cause for me to get stuck. Lesson learned for me, don't be "counseling" the kids while driving; the foot gets heavier and your vision gets obstructed.

A few years after the speed limit was raised to 65 PA was still 55 with big signs at the state line usually with a state police car parked right under that sign. 79N from Morgantown WV into PA you went around a curve carved into the side of a mountain and then saw brake lights as people saw the state line, 55 limit sign and car sitting there. The PA state police would give tickets for doing 5+. I was driving through there late one night doing 55 and a car was tailgating me for miles refusing to pass and flashed the high beams at me a couple times. Finally it turned onto an offramp and I could then see it well enough to tell it was a police car.
There was a state high 48 through WV and MD which was turned into interstate highway 68 and was going to be extended all the way over to I77 so people could bypass PA and finally they gave in an raised the speed limit to 65 so I68 never went past Morgantown.

This is precisely the sort of thing that erodes public respect for our LEOs.

Yeah, they knew what they were doing, and it was deliberate. Shame.

Yup.

We seem to have hijacked this topic, maybe we should give it back...

I hate the misuse of the word "literally", as in: "they were literally glued to the TV." Oh really? What kind of glue should you use for that? I also hate meaningless buzzwords like "paradigm" and "proactive". Relics of my office days I suppose.

Tactical. As in "tactical sling, tactical gloves, tactical sights, tactical anything." If is looks even remotely military or police oriented it has to be "tactical" to sell I guess. Looking thru a catalog yesterday I discovered a "tactical" necktie. But at least that was a joke (I think), it had a beer (or soda) can holder and a pocket for sunglasses on it. I am really tired of tactical...

Corporatese used in place of English. If you use enough of it, no one knows what you're talking about, what you're doing and, if you're middle or upper management, if you're actually doing anything.

'Facilitate' just means to help, or make easier.
'Leverage' means use (yes, that's the entire meaning).
'Downsizing' means mass firing of workers
'Restructuring' means mass firing of workers up through middle management.
'Food insecurity' means starvation.
'Transitional assistance' is still just welfare.
'Authoring' is writing.
A 'challenge' is a problem, usually a big one.
'Outsourcing' means giving your job to someone willing to work for a fraction of your pay.
'Implementing' just means to put into operation.
'Career-minded' really means that people with a life need not apply.
'Core values' = money and power.
'Team player' is a yes-man or brown-noser.
'Corporate vision' .... hallucinations.
A 'disconnect' means a misunderstanding.

And while I'm at it, how about pseudo-ebonics or whatever it's called, used by (usually) white teenagers and the adults that are still desperate to be 'in' after all these years. It goes especially well with guys who dress like they're homeless and the girls who dress like skanks, often known as the language of the illiterate with a speech impediment.

Where you at?
Where you bin?
I don't wanna dis 'im.

Yuck!

Sue

You forgot
'remediate' = fix
'deep dive' = research/look into

Whenever someone I come into casual contact with says "Have a blessed day", I wanna reply "Do I have to?"

That reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw back when "Have a nice day" was a relatively new phrase.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT KIND OF DAY TO HAVE!"

It is said that in response to "How are you?" as a mindless greeting, actress Katherine Hepburn would respond, "Fine. If you don't ask for details".

Sue

I like George Carlin's response to "How are you?"

"I'm not unwell thank you"

I get the greatest puzzled looks from folks and it makes them think.

I sometimes reply: "I am operating within designed parameters, thank-you" Thanks to the Star Trek writers that came up with that line for Cdr Data.

The word... irregardless

Irregardless ain't a word.

Irregardlessly... (heeheehee)

Sue

Exactly!

Technically... it i is a word (so is ain't!). But it still drives me nuts.

I dislike being referred to as a "consumer" or a "taxpayer"

Tells you what our coporate and political masters think of us.

People used to be "citizens"

I abhor the use of the term "The American people.....". It implies that the speaker is seperate and apart from them.

I hate people who say very, very, etc. "So many people are very, very, very disallusioned...." "She's just a very, very, very kind and caring person..."

I can't stand this: "Hey Stretch, how ya doin?" "Doin ok, thanks, you?" "Good, good, good". Anything more than one "good" is no good.

I hate talking heads on the news who quote statistics with flippancy. "99.9 per cent of the American people believe that...." These humpheads have yet to study their own conscience, let alone what percentage of people believe anything.

I abhor people who are "offended" at seeing a religious symbol. It's a clear indication that their lives are already ruined, what damage could a little more offensiveness do? I'm "offended" by their selfishness.

I dislike (immediately) any person who, in a discussion involving race, makes statements like "...some of my best friends are black ....". This is a clear indication to me that the person has probably never had a Black friend or even acquaintance and is afraid of their own "guilt".

As someone already said, it drives me crazy when people, usually cashiers, say "Have a nice day!" (as if they care). Better for me is "Thanks! Next!" I like that. Clear, direct, honest.

It drives me crazy to see the word "Please" overused. Now, mind you, politeness is a virtue, but overusing it is akin to begging. I was reading the revised forum rules yersday and, (sorry Doug, nothing personal here. Allow me a little humor, "please") I noticed that every sentence began with "please". I thought "Hey Doug, this is your forum, just lay out the rules and we'll follow them".

"Please" is so completely overused. "Please don;t litter". "Please slow down for the safety of highway workers. Thank You" -- How about this?: "Don;t litter". "Slow down and observe warning signs". Is that offensive to anyone?

I love this thread. I am NOT having a bad day. I am NOT angry. Some of my best friends are happy. Please forgive me.

I can't stand people who call any sheath knife over three inches long a "Bowie". Just because it's a sheath knife does not make it a "Bowie"

I don't like people who think they are James Bond because they can walk into a Starbucks and spout out an order for some seemingly super complex coffee ie: "I'd like a Grande Hazelnut Double Shot Mocha Latte hold the Whipped Cream". This is pretentious BS. I keep waiting for one of them to say "Shaken Not Stirred".

Also under the pretentious BS category are folks who order a mediocre bottle of wine at a mediocre restaurant and suddenly act like they are the owner of a 500 year old vinyard in France. I love to watch the expression on the waiter's face at Olive Garden, when some idiot who just took a wine tasting class expounds on the virtues of some ordinary Chardonnay with terms like "Fruity" "Oakey" with "Musky Overtones" and a "Dry" finish, when the truth is the guy couldn't tell the difference between Boones Farm Strawberry Hill and Kool-Aid.

I'm tired of people saying to me how great things are "In MY Country". I really don't care a lot about the habits and customs in "Your" country. If things were so great there, why did they come here? Could it be that there are no jobs, no money and abject poverty in "YOUR" country? If you want to come here and take a job, make money and live in the greatest nation in the world OK, but don't constantly tell everybody how great "Your" country is. If it's so great maybe you should go back and live in that corrugated tin shack with a mud floor that you left behind!

I'm tired of certain politicians hiding behind the phrase "For Reasons of National Security" while they trample all over the bill of rights like a doormat. The founding fathers of this country made these rules so that megalomaniac politicans can't suddenly decide that they have become "King" instead of President and can throw aside the Constitution and Bill of Rights whenever they become "inconvenient". We can't as a nation continue to have leaders who think that the rules apply to everyone but them. As a people we need to take back this country from the politicians and special interest groups.
Rule number one: You cannot under any circumstances run for, or be elected to ANY Federal public office if you are or have ever been a LAWYER!

Ha! I love this response! It leaves absolutely no doubt as to what is going on.

Ever lived in Orygun or Oragun?

Once in CA, the woman ahead of me at the grocery store wrote a check and handed the checker her NM driver's license for ID, saying they're just traveling through the area. The checker frowned and said she would need to get the manager's approval on a check from a foreign country.

Sue

I hate when people write checks in the line, don't they know a check is the easiest thing to forge.

Yep, or people moving to "Worshingtun", especially from the southeast.

When my oldest daughter would get upset and go off, and we had to "reset" her attitude, she would say "I'm Sorry", but in a tone and with a volume that indicated all she was sorry about was that she had to deal with us. People who end a request with "Thank You" before you've consented to perform also grate on me a bit.

Ending an email with "Regards" usually has a negative connotation these days.

While I'm still in a raving mood....

It drives me crazy when:

- Cashiers ask "Will there be anything else today?" Just ring it up already! If there was anything else, it'd be on the counter. They ask that of the guy in front of you when you're in a hurry. He thinks a minute, then wants a lottery ticket. He can't decide which one. He's spilling change all over the counter and floor....

- People leave their cell phone on in a meeting. "I'm soooo important. I must answer each call!"

- You call a Government office and get a recorded message: "Please enter the extension of the person you wish to talk to. Or...enter 1 now for the company directory". I work for the Federal government, you'd think I might have all the inside numbers. Ha! I can;t even get ahold of my boss when I need him. It's truly a crime.

- A business phone message begins with: "Press 1 now for English.... Or press 2 now for Spanish...". I wanted Mandarin Chinese!!!! Where's that option???

- People enter a 65mph freeway ramp and try to merge at 35mph! (These are the people I want to give a PSK to)

- Sportscasters say "Tremendous effort!". They're professional football players for cryin' out loud! It's called "effort"! If a player catches the ball at the 50 yard line and, with one leap, jumps over everyone and lands in the end zone, THAT'S TREMENDOUS effort!

- You pay with your credit card at the pump and push the "Yes" button for a receipt, and the scrolling message says "Cashier has receipt".

- You take the time to write all these gripes you have about everyday life and NOBODY CARES!

And speaking of the supermarket, I can't stand it when they say, "did you find everything you were looking for?".

Usually, I do, but when I don't, nothing is ever done about it. It is sort of like saying "how is it going" with the expactation that somebody will say "good" so it can be done with...

And speaking of finding everything, my personal motto for Wal-Mart (and I should trademark this. you heard it here first folks) is Wal-mart - "Everything you want, nothing you need".

I swear I can never find what I am looking for at Wal-mart, or it is always out. How hard is it to stock Sam's choice cola in the store and have a vending machine that works?

Sometimes "just in time" means never. If somebody steals it, the store thinks it is just not selling, so nothing is reordered.

Speaking of which, I can't stand it when I ask somebody in (insert any and every store here) when a product will be in and they say, "I couldn't tell you that, we get stuff in all the time". Does the manager know? Nope. Apparently that person's job now is merely to ensure that there is adequate staff that somebody can operate a cash register and somebody, somebody can handle returns and somebody can handle complaints. Often times the same person handles the last two. What this means folks is that customer service is extinct. And if it is only endangered, it is only a mirage.

--"client" instead of "patient" A big thing right now in pretty much all of health care. If nothing else, health care doesn't get paid what they bill, so how is there a client relationship?
--Cell phones in class (or theater).
--Nucular (like someone else said)
--Telemarketers that use my first name. Who the he!! are you?? You can call me by last name, rank, "hey buddy" but not my first name.
--Know-it-all's (the fact that they speak at all is annoying)
--"Can I ask you a question?" Didn't leave me much choice there, did you?
--"pamPlet" instead of "pamFlet" (phonetic spelling of pamphlet)


Yeah, I'm grumpy.

The one that I really dislike is when people say "The point is mute", when the usually mean "The point is moot".

Buckeye

I am hispanic and I love my people, but...

I hate it when one of the highest priorities of the President of Mexico is to figure out how to help his countrymen get into this country. I hate it when illegals protest more about this country than their own.

I also hate it when the phone rings and I have to get up and walk to the phone, pick it up, put the phone up to my EAR, answer with a "hello" and they then saying, "Listen..."

I hate it when people don't write their check before the cashier finishes ringing up their groceries and then appear shocked that they have to pay. It usually takes them an eternity to pull out their checkbook and slowly write the check in perfect cursive...

Just swipe a d*mn credit card and be done.

That "Did you find everything you wanted" drivel has GOT to be from some $60 book written by some bozo on Madison Ave who knows a lot of theory and nothing about reality.

I work for a Native American casino whose management apparently read the same book. Mindlessly following the suggestions without thinking out the likely results, they have created The Stepford Wives of Western Washington. It's driving the customers ("guests") crazy, but management doesn't have a clue.

They've got two pet phrases that they've programmed into all the employees: Instead of responding to a "Thank you" with a perfectly reasonable "You're welcome", everyone has to respond with "My pleasure", instead.

And once you've helped someone with the tiniest problem, we're supposed to say, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" (They can't even use decent English, either.)

So, we get these busloads of people who get dropped off at the casino for four or five hours. They're trapped, because there is NOWHERE else to go, and no way to get there if there was.

So, all through their visit, they hear the same two phrases, over and over and over until they're ready to scream. Not only do they hear it when THEY say Thank You, but they hear it all around them when the other people say it.

I guess the motto here is, "We're not happy until you're unhappy".

Sue

Thank you (this is a test) for sharing that...

I get a tad tired of hearing that so and so is a "Mexican-American," or an "African-American," or an "Italian-American," or a "wherever-American." If you are an American citizen you are an American. Where your great great grandfather came from doesn't really matter. In California I have heard the talking heads refer to the person from south of the border who was just grabbed by the INS and deported back to his home as a "Mexican-American." If he had been an American he would/could not have been deported, if he was a Mexican citizen here illegally he would/could be. Maybe I should start calling myself a "heinz57-American."

And while I am venting, I get tired of the newsies calling every bad guy as an "alleged" burgler/murderer/whatever. I can understand it for a person who has been arrested but not convicted, but a few years ago I heard one refer to Charles Manson as an "alleged" mass-murderer, and recently a person who had been shot three times in the back of the head, then hanged, then dismembered, etc, as an "alleged" murder victim.

Apparently I don't do Sunday mornings well...

Thats basically the same thing, doesn't matter if they filled it out ahead of time or not, it still takes a bunch of extra time for the cashier to jump through the extra hoops to take it while holding up everyone else smart enough to not use an easily forged piece of paper.

You're killing me for making me remember that I forgot to complain about those two!!

Everybody has to "feel" they're part of a "group".... hence "I'm a [whatever]-American". I guess there's some comfort in being part of a "gang".

The "allegedly" thing has always bothered me in this respect: the news reports "John Doe was arrested for allegedly shooting..........". I have this question: Why can't the news report that he was "allegedly" arrested?????

Like this: "Today, police allegedly arrested John Doe for allegedly shooting Jane Doe. This alleged incident allegedly occurred yesterday evening at 9:00 pm. Allegedly, investigators tell us that the alleged weapon is alleged to have belonged to the allegedly late Jane Doe"

I mean, if the criminal is only alleged to have committed a crime, how can they get away with NOT alleging the police arrested the criminal? Allegedly, this bothers me.

Why do you think the word"regard" has negative connotation? I am confused. Most corporate managers use the term frequently.

I hate "Hurricane Katrina Dogs"..Who gives a sh*&! if a dog you "rescued" came outta that god-forsaken place! The media was talking about these dogs and the need to rescue them, while real live people were still homeless and jobless.

I also hate buzz words such as :chipotle, extreme, ciabatta bread..etc

Dogs can't do anything to prepare for a natural disaster, while most people can and should--and simply choose not to.

Honestly, I've got more sympathy for the dogs.

That's all good & true, it's not the pets fault that they got left behind.I love animals, but to me a human life comes before that of a pets.Sure pets "can't do anything to prepare for a natural disaster" but what about the young, the elderly, the invalid, the bedridden, & let's not forget the downtrodden & needy.All these unfortunate souls come before pets.

One of my favorite overused is "Ordeal."

"The passengers had to wait on the taxiway for six hours before being returned to the terminal at the end of their ordeal."

If you want to read about the real meaning of the word, try -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isaac_Jogues

about Father Issac Jogues' treatment at the hands of the Mohawks in 1642.

When I hear someone talk about "Their Ordeal", I think of my "Ordeal Weekend" when I was about 14 and a newly elected O/A member. If you were a brother in the O/A, you know that's a weekend you probably remember for the rest of your life.

"I love animals, but to me a human life comes before that of a pets."

ANY human life? Isn't that kind of... pushing believability? I know some people whom I would happily watch fall into an active volcano if I just had the chance. WTH... I'd even give 'em a good shove.

Sue

Yea sure pedophiles, killers, & rapist shouldn't be allowed to breathe...but then again I don't consider those two-legged animals human.