I weep for the future!

So on Monday I found out that my car needed extensive repairs, so much so that my wife and I decided that we needed to find another car. We checked out the car lots that night and Tuesday morning bought a car. Now before I let my old car go, I wanted the car radio I bought at Best Buy to be taken out so I could put it in my newer car.

So I hop onto the four lane highway near my house and quickly see a car just pulling over on a bridge. I see a blonde girl get out, and she appears to be alone, so I decide to pull over and see if she needs help. Now there's not much of a shoulder on this bridge, but I put my hazard lights on and slowly backed up til I got close to her car. She practically runs up to my car, I roll down the passenger window and she says "Oh my god, what the f*** happened?! What was that?" I said that I'd take a look, and I should say that I know very little about things automotive. Even so, I quickly determined that her tire had, well, exploded. I'm not sure how it happened, but there were three big blown out spots on the tread.

She asks if I have a phone, I told her I did and handed it to her. I thought I'd grab my emergency triangle out of my trunk and put it up to get a little more attention from the on-coming traffic speeding by at 60 MPH, so hopefully they won't kill either of us. I open my trunk and discover, I'd already moved my car kit to the newer car! No flares or triangle today!

So this girl, I'm guessing she's 18 or 19, is talking to her mom on my phone. It seems her mom is not sympathetic to her plight and is unwilling to assist in any way. The girl hangs up and says she's going to call someone else. I say that I'm going to make a call first and call 411 so I can get the non-emergency police number...yeah, I'm thinking I need to program that one in my phone. So I'm being connected, and the girl figures out who I'm calling and she says excitedly, "I don't have insurance!" which is required in this state. "And I just got busted for public intox last night." Now I'm thinking I would have felt a whole lot better with a police car with bright flashing lights behind us to alert other drivers of our presense, but I hung up my phone before the call went through. I asked if she had a spare, and she said that she did. She grabbed the doughnut out of her trunk and then was worried because she said, "I don't have a jack."

I looked in her trunk and said, "yes you do, it's right here" and pulled it out.

I decided if I was going to change a tire for this girl, I'd better put my car behind hers and a little bit in the lane of traffic to encourage other drivers to give us a wider berth. I forgot to mention that I had to tell this girl that it would be a good idea to turn on her hazard lights.

I figure out how her jack works and place it and crank it up to where it is snug under the car. I started loosening the lug nuts and she queries, "Don't you need to have the car higher up?" I explain to her that if I tried to loosen the lugs with the wheel in the air that the tire would just spin. During this process she asks me if I have a cigarette in my car, because she was on her way to buy cigarettes...no luck for her because I don't smoke.

I get the doughnut on and start cranking the jack down. She had put the blown tire in the trunk by this point. I gave her the jack and then noticed something that could only have happened during a fiasco like this...the doughnut was practically flat! I had already explained to her that she needed to drive about 45 MPH when using the doughnut, and while I was busy sweating her spare on her car she had called someone else and arranged to meet them at a place about 10 miles from where we were.

When we saw that the doughnut for all practical purposes was flat, I asked if she needed a ride somewhere. She said, "well, I'm not leaving my car here, I don't have any insurance." She assured me that she was going to drive really slow. I suggested that it would be a bad idea to drive, especially so far, with a flat tire. I said she would certainly ruin the spare and probably cause expensive damage to the axle. I suggested that she could have the car towed, but she said she didn't have money for that.

I was running out of suggestions when I remembered the two cheapo air compressers that plug into a cigarette lighter that I had bought on clearence at Wal Mart a few months back and forgotten about. Luck was with me, because they were still shoved in the back of my trunk. I asked her if her cigarette lighter in the car worked...of course it didn't!

So I pull my car into the lane of traffic and park right beside her car...luckily the cord on the compresser was long enough to reach from my car to her tire. I hooked it up and let it rip. At first I didn't think it was working, but slowly the built in gauge began to rise up to the PSI recommended on the tire. I packed up and suggested that she get the doughnut checked by a professional right away and get a new tire as soon as possible. I also suggested that she learn how to change a tire and to quit smoking because she was too pretty to have such an ugly habit.

She had thanked me a few times during the whole process, but I don't really think she understood how much of her butt I actually saved today.

No phone, no clue how to change a tire, no insurance...and yet I don't think she understood the situation.

The thing that went through my mind was that line from "A Streetcar Named Desire"...

"I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."

She didn't even ask my name...

So I was telling my wife the story and asked her if she knows how to change a tire (no, I really didn't know before today). She said, "No, and I don't need to know because I've got AAA!" I told her that AAA wasn't always going to be there and she swore up and down that she didn't need to know and she refused to learn. She's pregnant, and quite honestly has been a little more irrational than usual lately. I'm hoping I can convince her to learn...maybe after this baby. If not, I'll just put detailed instructions, maybe on Rite in Rain computer paper, and put it in a sheet protector with the spare tire. Give her a little help at least.

So that's my story of why I weep for the future.

A good friend's wife told me a story about her father. When she had gotten her license her father bought her a car. She didn't know about it and when her father told her she ran outside to see. Sitting on four blocks was her new car with the hood open. On the side of the car was four tires, the tire jack and wrench, motor oil and a filter, the sparkplug wires, the bulbs from the headlights, and a few other things. He decided before he would let her even move the car she would be taught to do basic car maintenance and care.

Smart man, I wish more parents were like him. It pains me to see the amount of people that can't change a tire, can't change their own oil, don't know how to check tire pressure, oil level, ect. Not only that, but it's kind of scary that so many of these people are driving these poorly maintained vehicles on the same roads that I am. <img src="/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Wow... Where is Darwin with the Mighty Chainsaw of Natural Selection when you need him?

When I went through driver's ed, we had to change tires before we could squash cones. That wasn't that long ago.

Just remember, those who do not learn from history are destined to be mocked by it.

I teach at an all-girls high school and we wanted to see how much they knew about car care (most juniors and seniors drive themselves to school). When asked "What is the first thing to do when you notice that your tire is flat?", the most common response was, "Call Daddy."

BTW - You might want to avoid irritating the pregnant wife. I think that she is the most dangerous creature that you'll face in any wilderness <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Perhaps there was a good reason her mom was unsympathetic. Tough love?

I sometimes wonder if I'm really doing someone a favor by bailing them out. I was sitting in the minivan with the kids in the back waiting for my wife to finish shopping when suddenly the whole van lurched. I looked behind me and saw a girl back up her car and then pull into the empty spot on my right.

I got out and walked around the front of my car, dreading what I'll see. I saw the left front fender of the other car was all smasked up - dread increases. When I looked at the right rear corner of my car I didn't see any damage. I looked closer and finally found a scuff on my tire where she had clipped it with the corner of her bumper.

She was apologetic but didn't seem as flustered as I'd expected. I told her there was no damage, so don't worry about it, but to please be more careful in the future. She left to do her shopping.

As I was standing there feeling relieved, I took another look at her car. ALL FOUR CORNERS were smashed up. This was not simply a case of an old beat up car, it had been systematically beat up by someone who is incapable of swinging into a parking space without bouncing off the surrounding cars.

I was lucky, but perhaps if I should have called the police, if only to put her one small step closer to losing her license and making the world a safer place.

- Tom

You were far too kind, Ors. She must have been a pretty blond girl. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Seriously.... No insurance, public intox, no money for a tow, no flashers on (until you told her), non working lighter (and who knows what else), flat spare, probably seriously worn tire that blew in the first place. Woefully unprepared, incredible lack of understanding of the situation (except that she could be in for more trouble) and happy enough to let you take care of it for her. Funny that she had enough money for her cigarettes...

First, I would have called the police just as you intended. It's not your fault she didn't have insurance and you risked your life to help this moron of a girl. You could have simply said, "I have to call my wife, she's pregnant" got back in the car and called for the police. They will forcibly tow anyone in such a situation. They wouldn't even think twice about fixing a flat spare. She would have been cited for the insurance and you don't risk your a** trying to help someone who clearly is not interested in helping herself.

******

Oh, and for those wives who are dependant on AAA, tell them how fun it would be 1) waiting for an hour or more in the Heat/Snow/Thunder Storm with a screaming child. 2) Not being able to get a signal to even get AAA in the first place. 3) Waiting for AAA to come in the middle of the night. And does she absolutely follow procedure and verify that the person arriving is from AAA? I've heard urban myth's about the AAA guy who turns out to be a mass murderer....

Anyway, AAA is a crutch and shouldn't be used by anyone who can do it for themselves. It's nice to have when someone like this girl invites Murphy for a visit and then asks him to stick around for a while, but it surely shouldn't be a first line of defense. Explain nicely and carefully to your pregnant wife that changing a tire really isn't that difficult... appeal to her sense of protective nature with her child to come and make her realize that NOT knowing is potentially endangering someone other than herself.

Of course, do this from at least 20 feet away with one foot out the door and car keys in hand... Or you might just see Darwin pulling the cord to start that Chainsaw... (luckily you procreated before he got there)

"So I pull my car into the lane of traffic and park right beside her car..."

If you lived here in WA, you'd be dead and we would never have known. And at the speed you would have been hit, they would have scooped you up with spoons and had to check DNA files to ID what they could find of your body.

"She said, 'well, I'm not leaving my car here, I don't have any insurance.'"

Pity you couldn't talk her into leaving it. With any luck at all, it would have been stolen and stripped by the time she returned.

[Tom] "ALL FOUR CORNERS were smashed up." I believe that is called Driving by the Braille System.

If the idiots were the victims of natural selection... and JUST them... there might be hope. But they tend to take out way too many people with them when they go.

Sue

As hindsight is 20/20, and if I had it to do again, I would have let the call to the police go through. Why was I putting myself in harm's way to help this helpless girl? Yes, she was very pretty, but dumb as a fence post. Correct, it was not my problem that she didn't have insurance, and for her sake, the police officer might not have asked anyway, which still wouldn't have been my problem. Too much trying to be a nice guy I suppose. The way I carried out the assistance, in some ways, wasn't very ETS of me. I'm so ashamed <img src="/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

But, I did learn from the experience, which is what this whole life thing is about. And next time I won't be so easily distracted by a pretty face and a mini skirt <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I always wondered why there are Braille instructions on the ticket dispenser for the short term parking lot at the local airport.

When I was a lad, my dad & I came across a car (winter) attempting to tow a trailer which was way too big for the tow car & had slid into a ditch. The driver had on only tee shirt, slacks, loafers & had no coat, boots, or other cold weather gear. He was making his semi-annual trip from his heated garage with door opener in his heated car to his other home in Florida. Thus, no need for coat, boots, etc. unless. . . . oops!

You're a true gentleman Ors!! Need more people like you in this world!! Superb

Eh, don't feel too bad, you were just being a nice person. We definitely need more of those!

Whether or not she had AAA, as another poster pointed out, the police would have called a tow truck anyway.

Heck, calling the police (as you're driving by) to report a disabled vehicle at on XYZ road would have gotten the job done. Let them sort the mess out. Plus the liablity of stopping and partially blocking the road with your vehicle -- if you had gotten hit and someone had been injured... holy smokes. There would be lawsuits all over the place and even worse, injuries.

Yeah, watch out for those mini-skirts! <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

A co-worker of mine from a long time ago said this, "In order for people to survive, they need to be either smart or good looking. If they're smart, then they can take care of themselves. If they're just cute, then other people will take care of them. If they're neither, smart or cute, God help them."
Ors, I think you just played into her survival strategy.

Paul810, I really like that story. I'm going to remember it for when, if ever, I end up giving a car to a new driver. I wouldn't mind being remembered for doing something as thoughtful.

So that is what was meant when I was told it was a good thing I'm smart....

Not funny!

I couldn't agree more. You were just being nice. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

That is probably the Americans with Disabilities Act gone awry. People often wonder the same thing about drive up ATMs, but if you'll notice, there is a headphone jack there that gives verbal instructions. I've taken a blind friend to the ATM and she says she's gotten out of a car to use the verbal instructions. So there actually is a purpose for it at the ATM at least.

Yep... that's your tax dollars at "work". For a device with the SOLE purpose for sighted people, there's not much need. I suppose maybe someone said, "But what if a person takes home this ticket stub to a spouse or accountant who keeps track of the bills and s/he is blind?" Yep... maybe someone decided that there was enough of a potential to need it on there. I guess a scanner/book reader wouldn't have been able to clearly transcribe the amount into speech for such a person. *sigh*.

And don't get me wrong... I get ULTRA-PISSED when I see some jerk illegally parking in a handicapped stall (I have family that actually requires it now, but I've always hated when people do that).

Actually, what probably happened is that there was a blanket policy for all receipts at government facilities to have braile on them... at least that's my guess. :-)

Actually, if I had to guess, I'd say it is a backwards compatability issue and/or a really old machine. Making a machine that can "read" braille isn't hard. Does the card for blind drivers have "do not fold, bend, spidle or mutilate" on it? If it goes back more than 20 years, odds are it has a series of pins that are tied to a mechanical computer that detemines how much is owed, or at least did at one point. I bet the designer decided to go with braille, becuase it is a universally standardized set of characters, you could get the imprinter as an off the shelf item or very nearly so.

Or if it is read by a human attendant, it might be there for a blind attendant. The blind need jobs to, and a job where you sit in a booth is pretty safe, nothing to trip over.

I'm known as Pizzaman, because I deliver. I'm always ready to lend a hand and get the job done.

When it comes to the hapless, I have finally decided that I am doing them a disservice by helping them. Years ago I quit providing jump-starts to people without jumper cables. I always carry them and so should anyone with a car. If someone asks for a jump, I ask if they have cables. No cables, no jump. I will make exceptions depending on the environment if there are small children in the car or the driver is elderly (I'm not a total rat bastard). Bottom line, I want them to be inconvenienced and learn a lesson. If I dig out my cables and do all the work these folks will continue to be lazy and unprepared.

Ors, I applaud your sense of wanting to help, but this circumstance was not worth your life. PERIOD! This goes double if you have children that expect a living dad to return home that day. Call the cops, report the break down and keep moving. Don't even stop.

I have stopped and helped out at numerous accident scenes over the years. I will still help out if there is an accident and my presence can help. But for break downs and other pickles, I don't get involved anymore. Particularly if it is on a busy hwy or freeway. Just too easy to get your carcass run over by the next inattentive fool flying down the road. Sorry, my kids still need me.

I even get sick of people constantly asking me for the time. This is especially common at large public events or amusement parks. I look like a nice guy and I always wear a watch. I've started carrying my watch in my pocket just to keep from being bothered. If it is important to know the time, then you should have a watch. If I am the watch carrier for these "timeless" folks, I am doing them a thoughtless dis-favor.

I think wanting to help and providing assistance and charity are noble ideals. But like all good things in life they should be used in moderation, lest you foster dependency and sloth.

OK, I gotta ask....Did you get any good pics of this chick with your PSK cam? She's gotta be hot!

TR

Nicely summed up.

I wear my watch on a neck cord becuase I hate having things on my wrists. Anyone staring at my watch gets introduced to my grumpy side. I've been known to bark "Hey, look up at here, at my face, when you are talking to me", or as "see something you like?".

I think I'm just getting mean.

True. I didn't even consider the attendants. Where I've traveled, the exit has machines that take the receipt and you just insert your card. It prints out a final receipt of payment and the gate lifts. But your analysis is seems pretty logical to me - not every place has computerized exits.

"I even get sick of people constantly asking me for the time"
My college room mate would always respond with "time to do what" or something along that when asked. Of course he also carried a round tuit in case someone said they would do something when they get a round tuit so he could hand it to them.
I don'tstop and help people out as much as I used to, used to be I would stop all the time but I also got tired of people being unprepraed and almost acting like I owed them too.

Even with braille, it is still computerized in theory. You have sets of six pins, which send a 1 if punched and a 0 if not (or the other way around). As I said, it would be a kind of mechanical computer, the binary could be a lever rather than an electical impulse.

Very cool to think about, at least if you are a geek. I see the basics of how to design it in my head, but I keep using Victorian era materials. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You could just say, "Yes, it's time for you to buy a watch."

I'm one of those wives, and I want to defend myself. Plus, I bet that there are other wives out there like me. If it weren't for AAA and the kindness of strangers, I probably wouldn't be here today trying to learn about being more prepared.

Yes, if I had a problem with my car, I'd call DH and possibly AAA before doing anything about it. I figure that I'm better off advising him of the situation and getting his advice before I start tackling the problem.

Yes, I've waited hours for someone from AAA to show up on a service call. I know it can take a while. That's why I would call before I start working on the problem. If I fix the problem myself, I can call again to cancel. If it turns out that I can't fix the problem myself, I don't have to wait as long as I would have to if I had delayed calling. Usually, I wait inside a nearby building.

Yes, I've once been stranded by myself on a freeway with a disabled car in the middle of the night in a bad section of town with no cell phone. I turned down help from a tow truck driver because I didn't have enough money to pay for a tow. I turned down help from another stranger because I didn't feel safe accepting it. I eventually walked to a pay phone to call for help. It wasn't fun, and I now take precautions to avoid a similar situation.

Yes, I've tried changing a flat tire, and I found that I wasn't physically strong enough to loosen the nuts by myself. I now ask the mechanic to hand tighten the nuts, but I still am not sure that I could change a flat tire in the middle of a busy freeway by myself with cranky kids in tow. I would rather entertain the kids in the car or a nearby building and wait for a tow truck.

Yes, I tried checking some fluid in my car once when I was driving myself cross country. I found that I wasn't physically able to get the cap back on, and waited hours for someone to help me. I still don't know what I did wrong. I haven't had the problem with other cars.

Yes, I don't know how to use jumper cables, although I do carry a set in my car. I haven't bothered to learn how to use them, since the cables have instructions printed on them.

Yes, I've found that when I need help from a stranger, it is more effective for me to act the part of a poor, helpless, dumb female. I figure that it's just another tool in my toolbox.

Now, before I get jumped on again, most of these incidents happened when I was a young college student, well before DH started trying to convince me to be more prepared. I learned from these experiences, although not as much as you guys might have liked. It takes more than a single incident to teach a person to be prepared, and she will never learn if you antagonize her and don't give her a chance. You catch more flies with honey ...


-Kuovonne

p.s. Thank you to all of those who help out strangers in need. The world is a much nicer place because of your effort.

RE can't losen the lug nuts..
You are right that they should hand tighten - or actually better - they SHOULD tighten with a torque wrench - which tightens them to exactly the right level per the Mfgs recommendations (My local shop actually has attachments for their air wrenches to do this - and the tire jockey is handed the right one for your car, and must hand it back at the end of the job - so he always uses the right one!)

That said - get yourself a "4 way" lug wrench - MOST people, including fairly lightly build women can loosen lug nuts with one. Also carry a can of "penetrating oil" (My favorite is Kroil) and spray the lug nuts oh, 5-10 minutes before you try - pop the hub cap, spray the lug nuts, put the jack under the car, jack until the jack JUST starts to take a bit of weight (just enough to prevent the jack from moving - 99% of car weight still on tires) - NOW try breaking the lug nuts - just 1/4 turn or so.. NOW jack the car, and then finish removing the nuts

All women need to know how to change a tire. Not all men who stop to help are nice, some are predators. I have a system that I've informed all my friends and family of. If I am stranded and can't fix the car myself I will not stay with the car and be a target for anyone that comes along. If there are woods near by I will stay just inside the tree line. I will always be within ear shot of a car horn and everyone that knows me knows what I would do. All they need to do is find my car(fairly easy to do since someone always knows where I am) and honk the horn and wait for me. A woman in distress is an easy mark for a predator.

... and if they are too hard to losen by hand, a 4-way wrench allows you to use your foot to put more pressure on those damned lug nuts !

Another option would be to get a 1/2" drive breaker bar. One 24" long should give you about double the torque as the 4-way when you put your foot on it. It also allows you to swing through 90 - 180 degrees on the first stroke. I've managed to split the wall on a couple of sockets with one of these getting the lug nuts off my truck without having to put a lot of strength into it. <img src="/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> If anyone goes this route, invest in an impact socket to fit your nuts

Good practice. My only worry is that the treeline is where a lot of unpleasent creatures, of all numbers of legs, congregate. But from the sounds of it, you are probably already able to deal with most of them.

Actually I am more at home in the woods than in the city.

So am I. I've suprised more critters at the edge of clearings and roads than I ever have further back.

But I could just have bad luck. I've suspected that for years.

And get a good one. I remember coming up on a guy on my folks' road who'd put the boot to his 4-way wrench, and he suddenly had a three-way wrench and a one-way one. Guess which way wasn't on the side with leverage? <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

The rule there is, don't get angry with your gear.

The reason for my preference of getting away from the car is because when I was younger I was stranded with a flat tire, when I got it changed the spare was flat too. A man stopped and instead of helping me , he tried to attack me. I was lucky and a cop came by before he could harm me. I'll take my chances with critters anyday.

I understand the logic. And I like the technique- it's actually my plan if I have to bug out by foot. I was merely pointing out the sole drawback that I could see.

*sighs* It is so hard to be a gentleman when there are so many scumbags in the gender. They and the slackers make the few of us look bad.

I don't judge all men by a few but I do learn from experience. Better safe than sorry. This way I can see them but they cant see me. Sometimes stealth is the best defense.

Hi Kuovonne,

I would like to point out that I certainly wasn't singling you out and in fact just read your response here AFTER posting to your other thread on guns. Again, I think my argument stands and you haven't convinced me otherwise, and obviously your DH has started to lead you down that path as well.

I would say that by and large, this isn't behavior that would get one killed, but then there are predators, sickos, addicts, and any number of hooligans more than willing to rob, rape, or rip you up. And as I said in the other thread, kids change the equation a great deal since they are reliant on you for protection and wise decisions. I wasn't dialing up the rhetoric to turn anyone away, and in fact, although I agree with what Sue said in the other thread, I was trying to say it in a more positive and hopefully encouraging manner and now that you've stated your position, I would try to do the same here.

I was breaking lugs on my grandfather's semi when I was a wee lad. I had to dangle from a 2m breaker bar (basically a solid tube attached to the end of a lug wrench to increase leverage) and I'm quite certain you could take off any lugs with something similar. Taking a few minutes with your husband to do things like change the oil, fill the break/antifreeze/windshield fluid could make all the difference and we all build up skills over time. The first time my brother attempted to change his own oil, he didn't drain the oil first, and he punctured the filter with a screwdriver to take it off (not knowing about clamps that do the job and realizing his hands wouldn't be enough). After spilling 4 quarts of black on my grandfather's pristine driveway, we all got some schooling. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Listen, there's no reason to not learn, and I think your hubby is willing to help. It's hard to find time with Baby, but do a little bit here and there and learn to protect yourself. Not everyone who stops is friendly.

And yes, I've stopped many times to help people, but I make sure I'M safe first and it's never when I have my family with me. I've offered to call for help many times when the situation was uncertain... always from a ways away, with the car running and with me yelling out the window.

I certainly wouldn't antagonize. I'm just pointing out the facts as I see them. Hopefully knowing the danger helps to motivate instead of turtle in. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />