Back after a few years absence

Hey all...

Not sure who is still around from around 2010ish time frame... but I'm kind of back.

Long story short, but it feels like I lived a life time since I've last been here. Moved from the Caribbean to England, then back to the Caribbean, then to Montreal, then back home on the East Coast of Canada and had a few years of recovery (found a brain lesion a little over 3 years ago, and from that moment it was a whirl wind to surgery date, with the possibility of it not succeeding with some possible complications. I had some complications, but so far not to shabby at the moment... I highly don't recommend having a stroke... the recovery is a PITA.

Anyways, feel free to drop me a line, open to touch base with the old timers or anyone else.

Kind regards,
Kris

Welcome back!

thanks!

Welcome home!

Welcome back. I wish you all the best.

I am, and I'm back in Texas.

Jeanette Isabelle

Kris: Welcome back! A few years back I had major back surgery, implants of screws , 2 SS rods and a “rotorouter” procedure up the spinal column. Rehab took a full year and even for gym rat me, was grueling. Like you , I ended with a very good, but not perfect result. So , I commiserate.

Reminds me of a line by the Command Master Chief in GI Jane. Not an exact quote, but something like: Pain is good. You have to be alive to feel pain ! A bit apocryphal. But you get the idea.

Hey! Me too!
I did a lot of travel around the world until things got too much too much, so now I tend to stay put. One of the places I went a lot was Ukraine...and it's be hard to watch places I've been blown up.


I'll be more active here...watch the "Natural Disasters and Long Term Emergencies" forum for some interesting stuff.

Glad to have you back Martin!

Man, Kris & Acropolis! You guys have had a hard time! I hope you're both doing better.

Thanx Bingley. I’m doing pretty good for age 73. I only just retired, after 45+ years of practicing law and I’m enjoying it. I still practice law ,a little bit, Of Counsel , for the law firm which my son is associated. Gives me a chance to work with him. An unexpected pleasure

I still power walk ( 3 miles , on hilly terrain) with my wife or on an elliptical, 3 days a week. Do a full range of weight machines ( nothing too heavy anymore ) and some Pilates. Both of our stomachs are almost flat and I can still do 40 perfect push-ups!

But,I’m also practical about health issues. So far I’m good. ( Note: He spits on the ground , re-enacting the old Jewish folk tradition to keep off the evil spirits. ) But, I’m at an age when things start to go wrong or just wear out. As long as it is things they can fix and I can continue a full life, I don’t get too bent out of shape about them. If it’s terminal, I will do my best to arrange the ending as I see fit. No real regrets. and we just had the grandparent experience , for the first time. My wife is fully capable of leading her full life , with me or without me, which is as it should be.

We have made a happy and fully protected life for our handicapped daughter. ( from a traumatic freak accident , during pregnancy.). She is only A few years older than my son. They are very close and he will happily be her guardian when we pass. My daughter is happy, healthy , pretty , upbeat, and doesn’t see herself as different. She lives in Group Home which we helped develop and are still active in its admin. as advisors. We still spend a lot of time with her as her home is close to ours. Truth is, we should all be lucky enough to like our lives as much as my daughter likes hers!

My son and Daughter-in-law are a bit of a power couple and both have successful careers, a loving marriage & a beautiful 9 month old daughter ( who has my eyes ). [ Modern Living: They are raising her in 3 languages simultaneously and the baby responds appropriately in all three!]. And they just bought a home which is an 8-10minute drive from our home.

Both my wife and I worked our butts off for many decades. We had many challenges, especially with our daughter and caring for aging parents, as we are both only children. But it drew us closer and , all in all , we have enjoyed a good life. My wife’s earlier career , which she gave up to help our daughter achieve all she could be, was as a Special Education Teacher.

Our retirement is comfortable, not rich , but we lack for nothing we we really want or need. We both worked hard, put our kids first and it shows in the result. We consistently did a substantial amount of what you, would call charity, but we view ( as our religion insists) “justice”. It helps that neither my wife or I are into “ things” , past a certain point of basic comfort. If I have the time and the spirit moves me , maybe I’ll write that book I long been threatening to author. In any event, I’m ready for whatever comes next.

Acropolis, you give an account of a life well and honourably lived. I tip my hat to you sir.

Doug: Thanx so much for the compliment, which I accept, as well, on behalf of my wife . I think the biggest burden fell on her.

I was “hands-on” with the kids ,to the limited extent a busy attorney can be. But in our arrangement, my job was to fund the operations, deal with the State and Federal bureaucracy on benefits issues, bully the School Boards into giving my daughter the benefits ( expensive for them) to which to which she was entitled by law. Straighten out some officious doctors, nurses , hospital administrators on how to serve handicapped surgical and treating patients [ It sometimes is of great value to have the reputation of being a bulldog, locked-jaw attorney, who had no hesitation to go into court for an injunction or go to the press to publicize handicap discrimination.]. And finally to bring together the multiple Local, State , & private charitable actors necessary to get a Group Home approved, financed, built and staffed. It took 7 years. Today ,I think I could do it faster, but that was the first time I tried to do it and I fell on my face a couple of times along the way. Those kind of mistakes teach you quickly, so you don’t make them twice, since they are so painful, embarrassing and frustrating.

My wife had the real hands-on , day-too-day interactions,education, & worries. Her day began about 5 am and continued , more or less unabated, until about 8-9pm. And more if someone was sick.

She had to be attuned and inventive. For example, when we learned that our daughter could hear perfectly, but lacked the fine motor control to speak., my wife, drawing on her working experience , taught my daughter and the rest of us to “speak” in ASL ( American Sign Language ) , simultaneously with speaking in English. Thus, for the first time and for many years, ASL gave my daughter communicative language and interaction with her family, peers, & teachers which she otherwise would have lacked. It even helped to learn to read basic words in English. Then , years later, when my daughter’s speech therapy started to yield positive result, my wife banned ASL and forced us all to use only English, initially to my daughter’s consternation, so my daughter would regard spoken language as primary. It worked. She also kept track of and paid the household bills, insurances, etc.

Also, I gave you the final results ,which thank heaven ,are terrific. Along the way there was anger at many unfair things, sometimes intolerance with each other, frustration, rough spots caused in our marriage, etc. In other words, all the same crap couples with kids go thru, but WRIT LARGE, on account of having a Special Needs child and ,at times, elderly parents and step- parents who had only us to turn too.

At one time, for about 1.5 years, we had 3 handicapped or challenged kids and adults living in our home, in addition to my son who tho unchallenged , was young at the time.. My wife managed it all, alone , virtually without any outside help, except we did have a cleaning person ,one day a week. My wife looks back fondly on that time ,if u can believe it.

But we’re together after 2 years of living with each other and going on 37 years married. We are still happy with each other. So, I guess we can smile and say we’ve done OK so far. But I still think that I had the easier burden to carry.

It sounds like you've adapted and done well!

I’m impressed with both of you Acropolis50.

Thanks!

Being an ex-workaholic, I now spend more time with the people I enjoy being around. Not to say I didn’t like the folks I had worked with in the past, however who I would call friends (ex work buddies) now are few.

I do miss working in IT. I tried last year with the expected results.

Some would say it’s a life changing event. And for me and my wife it was.

I am a bit more healthier now however I am not at ‘fit’ levels. But an enjoyable dad body with a lifetime of scars that tell a messed up story ;-)

Have a good evening folks! Cheers and cling a glass of your tipple of choice. Mind will be scotch after the turkey dinner (for no reason then my wife wanted one).