Corny Jokes

If you know of a good corny joke, post it here.

Question: Why was the Scarecrow always being promoted?

Answer: He is always outstanding in his field.

Jeanette Isabelle

A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He tentatively approaches the deceased’s wife and asks whether he can say a word. The widow nods. The man clears his throat and says, “Plethora.” The widow smiles appreciatively. “Thank you,” she says. “That means a lot.”

Why isn’t dark spelled with a “c”?

You can’t “c” in the dark.

According to a new report, adverse side effects occurred in over 3,000 women who used Botox last year—none of whom seemed surprised.

Question: What's the difference between rats and squirrels?

Answer: The squirrels hired a better P.R. firm.

Jeanette Isabelle

We have a saying that a squirrel is a rat with fancier clothing.

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in sentences often goes undetected.

Question: Who invented the steam engine?

Answer: Watt is his name.

Jeanette Isabelle

About The Who-band.

"Who sang this?"
"Yes."
"Yes sang this?"
"No, Who sang this."
"Thats what im asking."
"Go to hell."

Question: Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Answer: Because 7 8 9.

There's a whole parody of this on youtube (Who, Guess Who, & Yes).
Search there for:
The Credibility Gap - The Rock Festival (Who's On First?)

Do you know when the worst time is to have a heart attack?

During charades.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Ahhhhh.

Ahhhhh who?

Werewolves of London...

I was up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws on the ends of its paws.
A comma has a pause at the end of its clause.

The tale unfolded around a pregnant woman who fell into a coma. When she finally awoke, she was met with a startling revelation—she had given birth to twins, a baby boy and a baby girl. However, the nurse had some unsettling news for her. The nurse informed the new mother, "Your brother has already named your children."

The new mother's face contorted with dread and curiosity as she braced herself for her brother's unique taste in names. 'Oh no, what has he bestowed upon my innocent babies?' she quivered, fearing the worst.

"The girl's name is Deniece," replied the nurse.

The new mother's face lit up with relief and joy upon hearing a name she found beautiful. Feeling optimistic, she asked, "And what is my little boy's name?"

The nurse caught between amusement and disbelief, hesitated before delivering the final blow. 'Denephew,' she finally uttered, a hint of a smile playing on her lips, as if even she couldn't fathom the absurdity of the name.

What do you call an old snowman????





A glass of water!