Survival kit for UFO abduction?

What would you include in your kit for alien abduction, and why?

To get discussion started, here are a few ideas:

Vaseline -- it's more versatile than KY, and it will definitely be needed.

Old family pictures, showing your parents and grandparents when they were young -- in case you are transported back in time, don't fall in love with your mother or grandmother (or father or grandfather), because ti will cause you to cease to exist! It's important to be able to recognize them right away.

GPS -- even though it doesn't work in the vicinity of an UFO, you're like to be deposited hundreds of miles away from where they picked you up, so you need a GPS to get home.

A towel....you'll definitely need a towel.

I would bring a list of all my alergies.

A copy of this sheet. I've considered getting an illustration of Pythagoras Theorem printed on a t-shirt, to help prove I am intelligent to any passing aliens (or girls - hoping to attract a specific type of girl).

a bungplug?

No one has mentioned tin-foil. Enough for a new hat for you and those you care about.

Very good ideas, all! It occurs to me that like all survival situations, your kit counts only if your kit is on you. I'd attach the kit to you -- maybe the belt -- so when they suck you up into the spaceship with that bright beam, you'll still have it with you!

I'd bet Bear Gryllis would probably try to rappel down the side of the UFO. That sort of stuff is too difficult to pull off, especially in a survival situation when your hindquarters might be hurting.

A mirror, to reflect that beam back upon itself...

A lubricated plastic case for hiding your kit internally?

I use my BigFoot kit -- its cross- compatible.

According to some tales, the kit would still be found ...

The question is, would they put it back? It seems to me all these abductions are probably like our "catch, tag, release" program for wildlife, except we all get a free colonoscopy, which is recommended if you're over 50 anyway.