Surviving a Small City

I'm a big city gal, born in raised in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex. I'm now in a small city with the estimated population of 56,945. The only mall in the area is Paddock Mall. There are no trains, the nearest bus stop is at the mall and new construction is almost nonexistent.

What can I do to not go bonkers?

Jeanette Isabelle

Happy was the day when DFW was in my rear view mirror, where I spent most of my childhood. It is basically flat, dull, relatively uninteresting country. I went West (like Horace Greeley advocated) to where there are mountains, deserts, foaming rivers, cliff dwellings, and all kinds of neat stuff. i have spent some time in Florida, and although it is rather flat, it is far more interesting turf than north central Texas. Scuba diving, fishing, boating in general (esp. kayaking), would be some of the things I would consider. There is a lot of fairly wild country there - what are your interests? It occurs that you may not care for wild things....

I like concrete under my feet. I like to be around tall buildings, city parks and fountains. Seeing new construction and city lights are some of the simple pleasures of life.

I would drive to a nearby parking lot at night just to see the lights from the TV towers. I would stand by a fountain, close my eyes and listen to the water fall and smell the chlorinated water.

Jeanette Isabelle

... "smell the chlorinated water" ... ? Okay, I admit that humor around here is subtle at times

When I was in DC I loved to go for a run after a thunderstorm because the air was charged and smelled of ozone, but you get that after a T-storm just about anywhere.

On a slightly different tack from the recreational ideas, have you thought about volunteer opportunities?

Depending on your talents and interests, you may find a "fit" with some local organization that needs your help in helping others.

Aside from the help you are providing, you may find it a good way to get to know other local folks, them to get to know you, and for you to feel more a part of the local community.

Move back to the big city?

I always joined what the locals were doing. I made good friends and had a great time wherever I happened to land.

I sympathies ize! But,I must ask the obvious question: If it's not to your taste, why did you move there in the first place? Second question: Why don't you employ your obviously good mind to creating the conditions to move to a more conducive location.

If you really want a true big city experience ( in the Classic European understanding of a city) , there are only four real choices: NYC, Chicago, New Orleans, & San Francisco. DC is more a power center than a City. But it's fabulous museums, monuments and arts venues are world class. Runners-up would be Seattle, Boston & Miami. Honorable mention to Portland for its unique walk/ bike cultures. Yes, I know, I left out LA. IMO LA is an amalgam of sprawl, not a real downtown centered city in the classic sense.

And before anyone gets prissy about it, these are my opinions. I am not knocking or belittling any other Metro type area. Other locales may be lovely, lively , friendly, cultured and newer. They just aren't what I consider a classic city, e.g. London, Paris, Rome, Florence, Amsterdam, Vienna, & Budapest.

I'm serious. Sometimes I like to play in the fountain.

There are a couple of fountains I know where water shoots from the pavement. A person can walk in the middle of it. There I like to stand and close my eyes and listen to the water fall in surround sound.



I love a warm, summer rain. I love standing there in it with concrete under my feet. Then I would go into a building dry off, drink a cup of coffee and continue to watch the rain. And yes, I too love the smell of the rain.

Jeanette Isabelle

I can't. I moved here with Mom for mental health reasons.

Jeanette Isabelle

Living arrangement and the fact my immediate family is moving to Florida. Mom and I are already here in Ocala, Ellie will be moving to Orlando and Brittany and her husband will most likely move to Tampa.


This is the part of Florida Mom liked best after considering different parts of Florida.


Dallas is not well known for the arts but Dallas has a higher percentage of artisans and creative people than other U.S. cities. In the mid 1800s, a community of artists from France moved to the area to start their own town. The area they settled was not fertile so a year after they moved to the nearby town of Dallas because of crop failures.

Dallas has a central hub with trains going out and the rail lines are expanding. Moreover, Dallas has bike trails which too are expanding.

Jeanette Isabelle

If you don't mind driving a little Orlando and Jacksonville, while not as large as DFW, can give you at least a small big city feel. Orlando now has a train and in Jacksonville the bridges are a cool place to look at the lights.

I live just on the other side of Orlando from you. Even though I live here I would make a terrible tour guide of Orlando because I tend to avoid the big city. I would most likely be passing Izzy on 40 or 19 while headed towards Ormond beach to ride the loop and then head back home.

In Ocala you might want to check out the Appleton Museum of Art. I'm sure that there are opportunities for volunteering and it might be a good way to indulge your artistic side.

http://www.appletonmuseum.org/

-Learn a new language.
-Learn a musical instrument.
-Read a lot.
-Play chess in the park.
-Participate in local 5k races or whatever distance.
-Learn how to barbeque really well.
-Sit on your front porch and people watch.
-Sit on your front porch and read a newspaper.
-Ride your bike a lot and talk to strangers more often.
-Become the mayor.

If work permitted, I'd prefer to live in a small town.

I live within the boundaries of greater Los Angeles, in Ventura County, so I can partake of many of the advantages and amenities of urban life. That is often very fine and beneficial.

This July I will once more journey to a small(pop. 4000+/-) town in South Dakota (Hot Springs) to dig for mammoth fossils. I have done this for the last fourteen years, and I look forward to yet another season. I really enjoy the change in pace and the different perspective. I know squat about Ocala, but I'll bet the area has its own special advantages. Seek them out.

I can almost see the largest mall in our city from my house for the last 6 years and I think I've been in it maybe three times. There should be plenty to do in any city, local parks, libraries, etc.

Thanks for putting it in perspective. It is not so much about what I do but where I do it.

I'm surrounded by palm trees, I'm within driving distance from a beach and all I can think of is, "Get me out of here!"

I can't leave because I will be separated from my family.

Jeanette Isabelle

Some disaster preps are best kept private. For example large stocks of food, fuel, blankets and other supplies are best not advertised lest one becomes a target for thieves, looters or official requistioning.

In a small town this takes more care since everyone knows everyone and is apt to remember those who purchased large volumes of supplies and perhaps to consider them as "hoarders" who should be "made to share"

In a big city, large volumes of supplies may be purchased for cash in any large supermarket not too near ones home. It is unlikely that the staff will take much notice, and even if they consider the transaction a bit odd, they know not your name or address and will probably never see you again.

In a small town, unusual transactions are apt to be remembered and use of cash rather than plastic cards does not help if everyone knows you.

Stocking up therefore needs to be done gradualy, or at a distant out of town store.
Mail order helps a bit for some goods.

Moving supplies from a vehicle to storage on one's property is also something that neighbors take notice of.

JI... welcome to the state, even though you are not that enthused about it... do you have any questions on tropical storm supplies?

Well said. Fortunately, in a way, very little in the way of disaster preps can be obtained in my suburb (with the huge exception of groceries). Most everything else I have came from out of town -- I hope my UPS driver can keep what he's seen come to my house under his hat.

Unfortunately, in a way, the CERT I belong to has been significantly increasing our outreach efforts to bring preparedness information to our community. I've been selected by the team leadership as the speaker for all of our largest events.

It's working well for me to contribute my time and efforts to CERT and other volunteer organizations, even if that has a deleterious effect on OPSEC. And with my pistol instruction business based out of my home, many will know that I'm own firearms.

The key, I think you would agree, is to evaluate your situation thoughtfully before saying or doing things that let people know what you have at home.

Happily, you can pretty much count on daily summer rain from approximately June through September. Excellent thunderstorms, too, and the occasional drama of a tropical depression. Central Florida is similar to the non-coastal rural south, and "rural south" is an acquired taste for those who grew up elsewhere; it is not a taste which everyone chooses to acquire. It would be wise to choose a local activity-canoes, kayaks, horses, boats- and expand your horizons and contacts thereby. Sadly, wisdom is not always palatable, and those approaches have not worked well for me. Good luck and God bless.

Don't forget having watermelon while you are rocking on the porch.

and how fer can ya spit them seeds?

I think everyone is different. You'll find out what makes you happy or unhappy, I suppose. Sometimes it's the lack of things to do. Sometimes it's just the sort of people who live in small towns. Sometimes it's just the time of your life. Sometimes it's *that* particular small town. So stay vibrant. Do stuff. If it doesn't work after you've given it some time, find a way out.

I went through the same thing, moving from NYC to a small Midwestern town. I picked up new hobbies that are impossible to pursue in NYC (e.g., USPSA). But at the end I discovered I really need the openness and energy of a lively city, and I like being surrounded by busy people full of ideas and projects. So after a few years of job hunting, I am moving to a coastal city.

It's always nice if you can get 'em past the porch rail while staying in the shade.

Sounds like a difficult situation.

I can only suggest that you actively look for some things which you like doing, people who you like being with etc and try not to focus on what you’re missing, too much.

If you focus on what you don’t have it will make you unhappy, then more unhappy and you may start to blame people for it .....

Try and find someone you can talk to about it, don’t let it build.

Oh. I'm sorry, JI. I know how hard that can be to deal with. I wish you the best in your situation.

I live in a western suburb of Philly. Even that is too much city for me. Where I grew up, I could walk in my backyard into the woods, and where our property line ending, the woods continued far into state game lands...

Being in a more quiet setting forces someone into self reflection. You have to learn to be quite content with yourself with there are no distractions from a larger city.

On the plus side, lots of opportunities to just go out into the "wilds" to indulge in some survival practice. Take a fun new tool out for a spin and see how it performs. Learn to identify wild edibles (I'm looking at you Blast!).

Every place you live opens the door for new adventures as long as you are willing to look for them and be open to them.

A lot of work has been done to the yard. It's an improvement.

Recently I found a Dairy Queen. I was so excited until I walked in and saw the menu. They had four deli sandwiches to choose from and they come with a bag of chips. Calling themselves Dairy Queen is a misnomer.

This is a Dairy Queen menu:

http://dqtexas.com/menu.htm

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with Dairy Queen, been a loyal customer since childhood.

Jeanette Isabelle

That sucks, Jeanette Isabelle. I worked at DQ when I was a kid. I can't imagine not being able to get a big gooey burger or Blizzard there! Beyond that I hope you're settling in and finding rewarding things to do.

I don't want to turn this into a political discussion so I won't mention what it is. Those who pay attention to the news know what's happening in Ocala, Florida. Finally something interesting is happening.

Jeanette Isabelle

What unique thing is happening in Ocala, Florida? Can you give the uninformed a clue? I don't find news about someone shooting into a car driven by his GF to be interesting. Drilling for oil in the Everglades? Maybe I'm jaded...

How shall I put this in a way that respects the rules of this forum? A flag that is offensive to some is being supported by those who state that flag is a part of their heritage.

Jeanette Isabelle

got it. Saw that on Ocala StarBanner but it didn't trip my significance threshold. I've never thought of FL being "southern". There are so many more important issues ongoing than distractions such as 160 year out of time flags just don't rise to a level of concern.

A rally for a flag is the most interesting thing that has happed since I moved here more than a year ago.

Jeanette Isabelle

Yesterday lunch at Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken (no affiliation) made my day. I decided to try their country-fried steak. Best country-fried steak, from a fast food place, I ever had. There may be hope for this small Florida city after all.

Jeanette Isabelle

Country fried steak sounds really good right now!

I prefer country fried prime rib, but that's just me. I may have to make some next weekend.

It's been over a year, and this thread is still active! What are your perspectives over the last year Jeanette?

Orlando and Tampa/St. Petersburg are 1 hour and 2/2.5 hours away from you, respectively.

In Orlando you can feel at home with the DFW prices (same dollar amount, twice the buying power!), and if you decide to check out Walt Disney World Resort (including the Magic Kingdom (Disneyland East), EPCOT (it might be all lowercase now...) and a crap load of hotels and golf courses) you're in luck: NEW YORK CITY PRICES!

After being here a year, you've probably noticed that Construction Season is year round.

People have mentioned CERT, and Marion County Sheriff's Office runs a very fine Emergency Management department and you could possibly get into a group with like minded people, and if you have time, perhaps volunteer.

I'm unable to drive far due to my anxiety disorder. I'm in a tropical hell for mental health reasons after all.

In the spring, Mom and I went to Daytona Beach. In a way, it felt like home having concrete under my feet and surrounded by tall buildings. Those tall buildings are all hotels. Here, the tallest building is six stories.

New construction here is nowhere near to what it is in Dallas.

Jeanette Isabelle

I'm sorry to see you're still having a rough go of it, Jeanette_Isabelle. I hope you manage to find stuff you like to do. I'll probably be moving from my town of 150,000 to a small town of 5,000 soon (for work). Probably it won't be so bad for me since this town is only 30 miles from my current home and I bought a new car a few months ago. It's a pretty smooth easy drive, all interstate.

Today is the first day of a short-term volunteer job and I only knew of this through the church. This is the only opportunity I found since I've been here and I've looked.

There is an organization that places senior citizens with volunteer opportunities. I asked them if they could help me find a volunteer opportunity anyhow but won't because I'm not a senior citizen.

Earlier I found a food pantry. I thought this great. I worked six years in a food distribution center so one would think I'm highly qualified, right? They didn't need any more volunteers.

Some things, like CERT, I'm unable to get involved with because of my mental health.

Jeanette Isabelle

Hang in there, Jeanette_Isabelle! Keep trying, you're bound to find something that clicks with you.

It's unfortunate that your mental health is a roadblock. I'm sure you'll find something that meshes!

My thoughts are with you, JI. I have a few ideas; please forgive me if none of them are original or possible in your situation. .RPG gaming group. Amateur radio club. Religious organization, if you're so inclined. Book club. Gardening club.

Thank you for your suggestions. I am involved in an online RPG. We are allowed up to two player characters. One of them, Jeanette, is an EMT-B transported to an apocalyptic future with nothing more than what she had on her person.

It was my hope it would be an educational game; so far I've learned more from preparing for it than I have playing it. The one thing I've learned from playing is this: There are times in which all of the equipment in the world can't help you. In those times we are left with nothing but our most important tool . . . our brain.

Jeanette Isabelle

This volunteer opportunity is turning into a bust. I did fix a vacuum cleaner today. The filter of the bagless unit was clogged.

Jeanette Isabelle

After more than a year it dawned on me to look for answers in other places. I Googled "How to survive small town life." Many big city dwellers now living in small towns express how I feel, they are slowly dying. The only advice given is to get out. It will never improve.

Ironically the place I feel the most comfortable is here, a forum where members enjoy activities away from the big city and discuss them. If I want to be more involved in the discussions, I need to more knowledgeable on what my fellow members are discussing.

Jeanette Isabelle

Hmmm...I don't know that it "will never improve." Humans are quite adaptable. Unless one is really inflexible one should be able to get used to a different type of location. I'm not saying a big city person will learn to love a small town or that a country person will learn to prefer a big city. But hopefully you can find some things that you like to do there.

I read one former city dweller after another saying the same thing, including those who have lived in a small town for more than twenty years. It's like dying a slow death.

It feels like I lost my motivation except for when I come here to this forum. I also have my doll collection. I wish I could paint a better picture.

Edit: I also have synagogue; Mishkan does not have the same energy as Bat Zion, the synagogue I attended when I lived in Texas.

Jeanette Isabelle

I hope that isn't the case, or, at least, that the death will be really slow. I live in a smallish community within the great sprawling megalopolis of SoCal. I also spend part of every summer in Hot Springs, S.D. (pop 4000 +/-). Frankly, I enjoy both, especially my "South Dakota fix," a nice change of pace and a different, rather refreshing. ethos (a handshake usually settles most matters).

city dwelling - crowded freeways; small town - open roads

More and more, my social relationships are defined and shaped by the internet. i know more about a lot of folks here on ETS than I do about neighbors two doors down the street.

I hope your volunteering will bear fruit. Not that all my volunteering resulted in absolutely wonderful experiences - we had our share of SAR operations that were trivial and dumb - but I can honestly say that I have never regretted stepping forward.

It may differ from city to city; growing up there I know how to avoid crowded freeways in Dallas.


That goes with what I've been saying. I feel comfortable here at ETS.

Jeanette Isabelle

It won't get better. If it doesn't work for you, get out. Don't waste your finite years on earth. I know because I did what you're doing.

I can't get out. Mom loves it here and she has to take care of her basket-case daughter [me]. The fact I rake the leaves helps her.

Synagogue was great today. Mom and I have been there for more than a year and today was the first time we were selected for the blessing over the bread and the wine [grape juice]. Rabbi Alfredo spoke today. He's the best rabbi they have. He really studies and it shows because I learn something new every time he speaks.

Jeanette Isabelle

JI: does your shul have any study groups? You know, Talmud, contemporary studies in Judaism, book club? It could be a social intro, as well as an outlet for your obvious intelligence? How about social interaction on a romantic level? Just because you are dealing with some challenges doesn't mean you can't find love or at least companionship. Good luck!

Yes but Mom and I don't attend. For a few weeks we did oneg; none of the other members talked to us. The fact Mom and I were chosen for the blessing over the bread and the wine is an indication we are finally being accepted . . . after being there for more than a year. I study at home and sometimes Mom and I listen to a teaching CD to and from synagogue.

Jeanette Isabelle

Have you ever tried or thought about writing fiction? Short stories, fan fiction, whatever. . .for example, maybe you could take your online RPG character and write stories about that character and that character's world.

I do write fiction. To make it more interesting, the story I wrote for setting up the post apocalyptic world, and introducing my second player character, is a murder mystery.

Jeanette Isabelle

That does not sound like a very welcoming congregation.
My freshman year college project was to attend all 26 churches in my town. I found the Unitarians to be the most welcoming--and tolerant of MY beliefs--of them all.

You might find the people at

http://www.uufmc.org/

better fit your needs, in spite of the diversity of their beliefs.
I only searched Ocala, you may have one closer.

Edit: Scheduling shouldn't interfere with Temple, either :-)

I've been here nearly two years. I'm not going to find what I'm looking for in this town.

I have my doll collection. I recently added Samantha.

http://www.americangirl.com/shop/dolls/samantha

I have this forum. It's educational and I'm having fun here. When discussing something as serious as WW III, I have to add some humor to lighten the mood. You are a great group of guys and gals.

There are certain movies I love, ones that bring me to tears because I'm so happy for a character. Being happy for someone else is a great feeling. Let me give three examples:

I was so happy for Vanellope in Wreck-It Ralph. Vanellope was a homeless game sprite living in a kart-racing game. It was her dream to be a racer. At the end of the movie that sprite's dream of being a racer comes true when her avatar is added to the racing roster.

In Saving Mr. Banks, inspired by the true story of P. L. Travers, author of Mary Poppins, Travers had a tragic childhood. At the end of Saving Mr. Banks, Travers finally gets the happy ending to her tragic childhood.

In Meet the Robinsons, I'm once again in tears because I'm so happy for Lewis a twelve-year-old orphan who, at the end of the movie, finds his family. As viewers watch the movie we are lead to believe Lewis is to be adopted by the Robinsons, the coolest family this twelve-year-old inventor could ever dream of. Disney plays the shell game and gives Lewis, and the audience, an even happier ending.

Are there movies in which you are in tears because you are so happy for a character? If so, what movie is it?

Jeanette Isabelle

Cormack MacCarthy's "The Road", because at the end the father realizes his child will make it, and he can finally just go ahead and die.

This was memorably the most depressing book I ever read. I'm not sure I can recommend it in this context.

I have to agree. I can do rose-coloured glasses with the best of them, but "The Road" was just overwhelmingly depressing.

I'm wracking my brain to make a good suggestion, however.... I am perimenopausal and ,according to my kids, every movie makes me cry. LOL!

LOL... You're right, it's not exactly light reading. I liked the movie, too - probably more than the book itself, because its sparse prose style didn't quite click with me. The movie though... has to be one of my favorites, at least in its particular genre.

A presidential candidate holding a rally is the most exciting thing that has happened to this small city, even more exciting than the rally for a historic flag.

Jeanette Isabelle

Friday I came home from a trip to Marco Island. My opinion of Florida is now more favorable.

However, the reality of living in the wrong part of Florida has not changed.

Jeanette Isabelle

I have never been that far west, Jeanette. I don't think I'd find the weather to my liking but it would probably beat SD and MN in the winter!

I don't know if I've been to Marco Island but I can highly recommend visiting Sanibel Island up the coast off Ft. Myers.

Given everything Marco Island has to offer, I'd be willing to put up with the humidity.

Jeanette Isabelle

I was in Florida during April. There are a LOT of worse places than Florida. You could survive quite well in a small town in Florida. In an emergency, you can always go and catch fish. Really! Plus, Florida gets a lot of fresh rain. Therefore, you can catch rain water. And you wont freeze to death. The survival options are quite favorable.

Pete

I will caution people that you CAN freeze to death here. In general most would agree that it typically isn't going to happen....FL is not the constant hot place people think. Temps do drop and exposure is common. I've seen it regularly. EMS here pounds into its people ALL the time with trauma patients that "cold blood doesn't clot" and are constantly urging that the patient be wrapped up to prevent heat loss......and this is in the SUMMER!!!! Don't get lulled into a false sense of security that you can't freeze there.

Just one word - hurricanes.

That is how some of the "fresh rain" is delivered, along with the salty sea surge. of course, hurricanes these days are accurately predicted, and measures can be taken (like getting the h*** out). Every place has its own particular hazards and one must learn to cope. I live in SoCal and must be prepared to deal with earthquakes. and they aren't predictable nearly as precisely as H's.

An update on what's happening in Ocala, FL. A six-story building is being built next to Sam's Club, the new equestrian center is progressing slowly, a Jaguar dealership will open this fall near the Porche/BMW dealership and another one-story construction project is going up near our gated community.

And yet, despite all the new constructions and increased traffic on College Rd., the bus system will not be extended to this area until 2026.

Jeanette Isabelle

So Jeanette, do you travel around town strictly by mass transit? That puts your knife thread into context.

2026 — Good to see the planners are thinking ahead...

I can't because the nearest bus stop is ten miles away.

Jeanette Isabelle

For now, this is only hearsay; today a member of our Torah study group said 10,000 more houses would be built in this area.

Jeanette Isabelle

During the gun club meeting, the subject of safety in the community came up. As it is now, there are no sidewalks along the main road. There is no place to walk. I'm not expecting anything to be done about it anytime soon; at least I know I am not the only one who has this concern and people are talking about it.

Jeanette Isabelle

Dollar General is in the process of building a new store two blocks from the back gate of our gated community.

The new store will be right around the corner of Freedom Library. I don't know why anyone would want to live here; I hope this trend continues. Families are moving into the new homes being built in this neck of the woods.

Jeanette Isabelle

There is something good about Florida after all. If you spend any amount of time here, you will develop a sincere appreciation for the fall and winter.

"I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" takes on a new meaning. I'm willing to settle for a white Groundhog's Day.

Jeanette Isabelle

I used to be on our Parish Council (lowest level of government in England). We were concerned about the level of public transport locally so we invited the Chief Executive of the bus company in for a chat.

He stated that he would run any service at any time of the day if he made a profit, his sole criteria.

We persuaded him to trial a service after the school run to the shops and back, gave him routes and timings. He ran an eight month trial and it made money so it runs to this day.

Why not try the same approach?

Unfortunately, it does not work that way in the United States. It takes years for a local government to expand a bus system. They need to be as sure they will have riders and they need funding from the federal government.

Jeanette Isabelle