Jerks in our life

Posted by: Chisel

Jerks in our life - 10/20/11 10:22 PM

Imentioned in another thread that I have a few jerks at our work. They make life real pain. So, I figured to ask : how do you guys SURVIVE this ???

As I said in the other thread... one of my colleagues ALWAYS jumps to help me regarless if I needed help or not. Even if I needed someone's help it won't be him. He always argues before doing anything. He always changes things without asking. I just want him to leave me alone and pick another job to do.

Another jerk , the boss. The other day, he interrupted our urgent job to ask me to attend to items that should be arranged and made obsolete. Not only that is not urgent, this job usually means dealing with beaurocrats in the sorehouse and office services. I hate dealing with office-bound beaurocrats who live in ivory towers. They want us to pile things in the middle of the office before they come. And they will need about a week to come AFTER we made the items ready !!!!

So, we have to suffer a week ( or maybe more) of junk in the middle of our office while our original urgent work is being delayed. I asked the jerk, boss, to postpone this nonesense, but he said it was postponed long enough.

Now, two other hard working colleagues are leaving on vacation and work will be further condensed, yet, priorities and common sense seem to be something unknown to our jerks.

Do you have such stories to share ???
It helps relive anxiety a little to see others are also having similar experiences
Posted by: Chisel

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/20/11 10:34 PM

Those "obsolete items" !!
I tried to tell him that some are in working order and we should keep them as backups. He said we have enough junk and these were not used for lone time , so they should go.

OK. I told him about other stuff that is NOT working, why they were not included in the list ??? He said : let's keep them and try to fix them.

So, we are keeping the non-working stuff, and throwing the working stuff !!!! Absolutely no logic, no system, no common sense.

What I started to do, is to focus on MY own interests there. So, I beefed up my office PSK to contain more tools. Reason ?? To enhance my capability to disassemble some items and take what I need out of them. Example : one field instrument has to be thrown. It is cased in a sturdy box with rubber seal. I unscrewed the istrument , pulled it out of the box, and threw it (the instrument) in the pile. The box itself has become my new tool box. A very nice and sturdy box that is about 12x6x5 inches, with rubber gasket.

I think this is the only way to survive jerkdom.
Posted by: hikermor

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/20/11 10:37 PM

I think most of us have been there, at one time or another. Some years ago I was trapped in a poorly led, paper shuffling office that was driving me nuts. On the other hand, it was steady work and it was supporting my family.

I was able to transfer to a different location within the same organization. It wasn't easy, it was disruptive, and I had to give up some things, but it turned out really well.

So I would say, don't just sit there and take it, but change something. But think your changes through.
Posted by: Chisel

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/20/11 10:44 PM

Well, this comes in the middle of other things happening like my daughter getting married in a few months ..etc. I need a work life that steady enough to be able to concentrate on home/family events ... but those jerks make it so hard.
Posted by: dweste

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/20/11 11:11 PM

Interesting. A couple questions if you will indulge me.

Does your job have some criteria for your performance that are being adversely affected by jerks?

Are your job duties and specific daily assignments in writing?
Posted by: NuggetHoarder

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 12:10 AM

sorry if this sounds harsh - get another job and then quit the one you have now. It's not like you're in North Korea and your job is assigned to you.

Beyond that, gripe. complain, moan, make a stink - whatever you want to call it. If you're not happy, then make the whole world know it. People around you will change to accommodate you or, if they don't, it will steel your resolve to get the heck out of there.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. I'm not trying to put you down - just trying to answer your question in an honest way.
Posted by: Am_Fear_Liath_Mor

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 12:21 AM

Sounds like you just have typically woeful management incompetence. Whilst working for an electronics company (involved in manufacturing microwave communication products for space/defense and cellular communications) a group of the production staff where brought into the offices by the quality control engineer (a nice enough lady who liked plastering the productions area with lots and lots of Excel charts crazy ) to be told that the company had shipped millions of dollars (UK sterling) of components, that when the isolators were installed in the cellular towers would overheat and fail within a minutes after being powered up at full power. The fault was a tracked down to the batches of 50 ohm load (100W) resistors manufactured by another electronics defense company.

Anyway as the meeting progressed the quality control engineer was talking/implying that the issue was a failure of the production team who manufactured/assembled/tuned the isolator and circulator devices. It was actually quite a funny attempt at passing the buck, which failed miserably, when the one of the production team asked the direct question, 'Why did YOU let $2 Million worth of kit out of the door, without power soak testing the units using statistical process control?'. The meeting ending shortly after that question was raised.

Even funnier was when I suggested that the load resistors might dissipate the heat from the failing load resistors into the heat sink body if the production engineer would allow us to use some heat sink compound, only to be told that the surface finish was smooth enough not to warrant the use of heat sink compound. 2 weeks later we were using heat sink compound!! Problem apparently solved but of course guess who gets the credit. crazy

And to think these folks sent kit off to NASA on be put in their comms modules for their spacecraft for their Mars and Jupiter space missions.

I left the company soon after being restricted (or escorted) where I could go on the premises after a holiday to Cuba.

Posted by: hikermor

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 12:26 AM

If we want to talk about incredible statements by management types, I fondly remember a statement by one (the technical area was preservation of prehistoric pueblo dwellings, a fairly arcane subject) to the effect of "We never make mistakes, because every time we do something, we learn." This after "learning" that application of an untested chemical to a prehistoric wall actually accelerated erosion....
Posted by: Susan

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 05:11 AM

I work for a company whose poor judgment (upper management) seriously injures and kills people. Everyone else can see it, but they can't (even after 20+ years of making the same mistakes).

And then they have the gall to tell us that the source of the problem and the result are the same thing.

Sue
Posted by: Chisel

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 07:24 AM

Thanks everyone

Quote:
Interesting. A couple questions if you will indulge me.

Does your job have some criteria for your performance that are being adversely affected by jerks?

Are your job duties and specific daily assignments in writing?


#1 No
#2 No

Actually , I used to have the baddest, meanest attitude before where I could tell anyone $%^$## and leave .. I threw out a big boss from my office when he he tried to take some of our equipment, and threw my gloves in the face of my former boss when he came from his ivory tower and told us to change the way we do things to a way that we knew to be wrong. I threw the gloves and asked him to do it himself.

However, I am now near 60 and want to live peacefully. I promised myself to just do my job and go home , no matter what they decided . I would do it their way and &%^$%^$#^% whatever happens. It's their money, their problem, and my salary would be the same.

In addition. I like this job because it is flexible. I can finish manual work, then take the rest ( computer work, writing reports ..etc. ) to my home where I attend to my family needs and then find a peaceful time to do the computer work.

Theoretically, the way it should have been done is to list all work to be done and divide it among us for the whole week. A few days later, each of us send a report to the boss. I like it, but it doesn't go like that. One jerk messes up the priority list , and another jerk distracts me from what I am doing. I have thought of shifting gears and &%^%&^% ing both jerks but I really cannot take it anymore ( I mean I cannot take plowing through life with a mean attitude , I prefer kindness and friendly relationships)

There is another jerk in the department, but luckily our boss is dealing with him , and if he becomes our direct boss, life will become a survival situation. Already three employees have resigned because they couldn't work under his supervision. I can smash him if he pisses me enough, but I am too tired to fight anymore.
Posted by: dweste

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 07:46 AM

So the bad news is that you have a job with decent compensation, you don't find it a challenge to do a competent job, you can partially control when and where you get your work done, even jerk co-workers are not affecting your job performance, and at age 60 you may be within shouting distance of retirement. But you find jerks and incompetents annoying, very annoying.

Perhaps work is more important in your life than it needs to be; perhaps you can enlarge the context for finding meaning in your life and effectively shrink the part played by work. If you can find some folks that you consider interesting and worthy, who might welcome you to participate with them in projects of mutual interest, then work might be less of a focus and concern.

So, what interests you outside of work? Are there projects or hobbies you have been wanting to spend time with? Can you get satisfaction outside the workplace that might reduce your need or dependence for satisfaction in the workplace?
Posted by: dweste

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 07:49 AM

So the bad news is that you have a job with decent compensation, you don't find it a challenge to do a competent job, you can partially control when and where you get your work done, even jerk co-workers are not affecting your job performance, and at age 60 you may be within shouting distance of retirement. But you find jerks and incompetents annoying, very annoying.

Perhaps work is more important in your life than it needs to be; perhaps you can enlarge the context for finding meaning in your life and effectively shrink the part played by work. If you can find some folks that you consider interesting and worthy, who might welcome you to participate with them in projects of mutual interest, then work might be less of a focus and concern.

So, what interests you outside of work? Are there projects or hobbies you have been wanting to spend time with? Can you get satisfaction outside the workplace that might reduce your need or dependence for satisfaction in the workplace?
Posted by: Chisel

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 12:04 PM

Yes, dweste .. I focus alot on my work because of other things than direct compensations like salary. For example, there is a non-profit school for employees and I save BIG money on my kids education. If I take the kids to another private school, I will be paying much more.

But money is not everything. I do like the job itself and even the miscellaneous tasks thrown upon us !!!! If they were not dumped on us in a chaotic way , they offer interesting challenges that I feel to be good for a prepper like me. Those challenging tasks, for example, hone improvisation skills. Sometimes things don't work, and we have do anything to make them work. Or sometimes, I modify/remodel something to be prepared for a possible shortage. I feel immensely happy when something happens and MY modification of the facilities help mitigate the effects.

You get the picture.

The problem in our work is not the miscellaneous challenges, but the jerks who have no common sense. They often complicate problems before you can find a solution to the original problem.

I do have other interests like camping and surfing the net. Lots of volunteer programs around. In addition, even sitting at home isn't that boring for me. I can even plan a "72 hour bug out" / campout in the backyard for the fun of it, if I had a long weekend. That is just one example.

So, my frustration is not caused by the lack of other things in my life, but maybe I am too perfectionist to accept that common sense is not really common enough these days.

Quote:
So, what interests you outside of work? Are there projects or hobbies you have been wanting to spend time with? Can you get satisfaction outside the workplace that might reduce your need or dependence for satisfaction in the workplace?


Yes, I an amatur-ish handyman. I made most of my bookshelves in addition to my workbench ( used wood scraps left by workers who built my house and made several things out of them). I also do some electric/plumbing work at home. Not much these days . Since I crossed the 55 years mark, I reduced the times I climb a ladder and prefer to hire someone to do it. Anyway, you get the picture.

Edited to add :

These days, I do things closer to the ground LOL. For example, I work in my backyard using cans ..etc. to make stoves and other prepper stuff. <<<<<< This can give you an idea of part of my problem with the jerks. I DON'T like to throw anything, and prefer to re-use/recycle them . And they do not even think before they decide anything.
Posted by: dweste

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 03:34 PM

Good post!

I am several years older than you, so I totally get the change-how-you-do-things adaptations!

Some thoughts, for what they are worth:

See if you can find and spend time with like-minded folks, an apprentice prepper or two, or anyone who appreciates your skills and abilities. Maybe mentor.

Look at jerks a different way: see them as a resource. Maybe they can be seen as mini-disasters to challenge your ability to adapt and overcome? Maybe they can be the source of Dilbert-like humorous how-not-to-do-it stories or lessons for which you can find an appreciative audience [like on this forum or the appropriate trade publication]? Focus on pefecting jerk manipulation and distraction techniques for fun and profit? Is there a reduce-waste or green-recycle program at work that might welcome and even reward your input?

Any interest in climbing the job ladder to have at least part of your job in planning or management so you can head the jerks off at the pass, route their efforts into relatively harmless busywork, or overrule them?

Perhaps you can look a jerks as suffering a disease for which you have sympathy/empathy/extra tolerance, just as you would toward anyone who cannot help how they act, look, sound, - or smell?
Posted by: Arney

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 03:55 PM

Originally Posted By: dweste
Any interest in climbing the job ladder to have at least part of your job in planning or management so you can head the jerks off at the pass, route their efforts into relatively harmless busywork, or overrule them?

A total generalization, I know, but the problem employees ironically are often the ones promoted. Managers keep getting complaints and they want to keep their "good" employees doing what they're doing, so what's the solution? Give the problem employee a promotion and get him/her out of their hair! Typically something you might see in a big organization.

Well, besides the squeaky wheel theory, you might also throw in a dose of backstabbing and brown nosing in there, too.

Don't forget that Steve Jobs was considered a "jerk" by pretty much everyone he worked with and look where he ended up!
Posted by: Chisel

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 04:29 PM

Arney , we have a steve-jobs type of jerk , and I have not complained about him. He is very very practical , and no problem is too hard for him. He managed to fix instruments that qualified ( manufacturer -trained) engineers said cannot be fixed.

In a graduation ceremony at stanford university , the late Steve Jobs said to graduating students ( stay hungry, stay foolish). I guess what he meant is to do what it takes to reachg your goals. If "rules" are going to stop you or distract you from reaching your goals, do the foolish thing of ignoring the rules !

That is how I understood Steve's speech. And that is what I like about our "foolish" friendly jerk who never took NO for an answer. The main difference between him and other jerks that others spend their lives making YOUR working time a mess while he spends his time opening gadgets and cluttering our place trying to fix something. I can live with that kind of mess and indeed I have cooperated with him and decided to designate an isolated area for his clutter.

Problem with the squeaky wheel is that I want to live peacefully doing my things and not spend my time complaining or fighting. I will be retiring in 2-3 years and do not want to compete with anyone or bother anyone or be bothered by anyone.

Posted by: sotto

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 04:46 PM

There is no way to survive the issue you're discussing. Eventually, it will creep into your bones, brain, and viscera, and rot your socks off. ;-)

You could always try starting and running your own business. This is very instructive and enlightening.

My story is that, quite a few years ago now, the management of my company decided to institute an Employee Recognition Committee to select and recognize employees of merit.

Within 2 months of selecting the staff members who were to serve on the committee, more than half of them were fired.
Posted by: Chisel

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 05:03 PM

dweste , I agree with you on feeling symphathy or empathy toward them. Our boss is very narrow minded. I tried to enlighten him and tell him he is focusing too much on minute details when he has to figure out what he should be doing after retirement. But it didn't work. He is not wise enough to know what is important and what can be ignored.

He often puts the carriage infront of the horse !!

Quote:
Maybe they can be seen as mini-disasters to challenge your ability to adapt and overcome?


LOL ... I like that

I am trying ..
If I can survive these guys I can survive anything

Quote:
See if you can find and spend time with like-minded folks, an apprentice prepper or two, or anyone who appreciates your skills and abilities. Maybe mentor.


Exactly !

I have a young man working with us. He is hard working and good listener. I tried to teach him all I know, including some prepper stuff. He is now more competent than me in some areas. I wish him the very best. However, I worry that our unwise boss will cause him to leave because of continuous pressure. Sometimes I use my seniority to cover him when he needs an extra day off or something like that.

There is also another smart young man in maintenance . If you can see it in your dreams , he can make it !! We make a good team imrovizing and making make-shift tools and gadgets to do jobs that otherwise cannot be done.

There is a green recylcing program. Unfortunately, it is focused on general waste like paper and coke cans ..etc. Nothing to do with pumps, computers and the like.

Quote:
and even reward your input


None !!
Besides, satisfaction is all I want. I feel happy when somthing is going to be thrown, and I find a new home for it.
Posted by: Chisel

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 05:09 PM

Quote:
My story is that, quite a few years ago now, the management of my company decided to institute an Employee Recognition Committee to select and recognize employees of merit.

Within 2 months of selecting the staff members who were to serve on the committee, more than half of them were fired.



Thanks sotto
It is a bit of a relief to see that I am not alone in facing unreasonable decisions/people.

I hope to be retired before my socks rot .. LOL
Posted by: comms

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 10:12 PM

I offer this, it may or may not be relevant. When one of my bosses came to me with a top priority that would mean disrupting my already filled schedule and I was already working on 3-4 other top priorities for them, I would make a simple statement, "X, you have already asked me to do A, B, C & D, as top priorities to complete on top of my own regular work. Now your asking me to do E and F. Which project, A, B, C or D do you want me to dismiss so I can fit either E or F because I can't do them all?"

It puts the ball back into the managers court, forcing them to manage. Plus they get to decide which task you can stop doing, thus your not at fault for not finishing it on their timeline.
Posted by: hikermor

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/21/11 10:54 PM

Originally Posted By: Chisel

Problem with the squeaky wheel is that I want to live peacefully doing my things and not spend my time complaining or fighting. I will be retiring in 2-3 years and do not want to compete with anyone or bother anyone or be bothered by anyone.


If that is truly the case, you are already retired...Count your blessings, you are drawing full pay, right?
Posted by: Chisel

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/22/11 05:52 PM

Yeah, I am trying to live like semi-retired , but jerks won't let that happen. I like to do my routine work, make a few small inventions now and then, and have a few benefits at reduced fees. It is only a few years to go. My pay with go down to 75% of what it is now, and no more reduced fees.
Posted by: MostlyHarmless

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/23/11 06:03 PM

Originally Posted By: dweste

Look at jerks a different way: see them as a resource.

The only real resource is as a training resource, as in train to to perfect what Dweste called "jerk manipulation and distraction technique"...


Originally Posted By: dweste

Maybe they can be seen as mini-disasters to challenge your ability to adapt and overcome? Maybe they can be the source of Dilbert-like humorous how-not-to-do-it stories or lessons for which you can find an appreciative audience [like on this forum or the appropriate trade publication]?


All good points - but THIS really made my day:

Originally Posted By: dweste

Focus on pefecting jerk manipulation and distraction techniques


Anyone who's got great tip for jerk manipulation and/or distraction?
Posted by: Eric

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/23/11 06:11 PM

Jerk management is a challenging skill. The most effective solutions seem to involve identifying jerks or near jerks with "complimentary attributes" and launch them at each other. Think of this a putting matter and anti-matter (or more realistically sodium an water) together.

You and the rest of the team can go about your business while the sparks fly, often resulting in rather sit-com like situations and hilarious inside jokes. As the moderator of this fun you will need to be sympathetic to both sides and encourage ongoing and continued "dialogue" to resolve the disputes without actually taking a side.

Of course if your "jerks" actually do figure out how to resolve their issues the rest of the department is doomed.

- Eric
Posted by: Susan

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/24/11 01:35 AM

I was telling my sister about this thread, and she insisted that I needed to add what is going on at the hospital where she works (a well-known west-coast chain).

The hospital has a "no-fire" policy, and they carry this insane, politically-correct format to incredible extremes.

There are two women there who are total freaks, and drive everyone else crazy: they have 'mooned' fellow employees, have grabbed male co-workers genitals, call to each other with loud gorilla sounds, hump each other, get into other employees' private e-mails, refuse to do their work, and go joyriding during work hours, etc, etc, etc.

And there is a guy who simply refuses to work. He just shows up so he can collect his paycheck.

They used to have a manager who was so nasty to everyone that they transferred her to another hospital. No one knows what she did, but she DID get fired, which was a shock to everyone. The only other firing in the system that anyone can recall is when a male nurse dragged an old man down the hall (on his back) to his room by his feet, which resulted in a lawsuit.

Corporate insanity has reached a new high in American business. Or is that a 'new low'?

Sue
Posted by: Chisel

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/25/11 05:23 PM

One of our HATED managers spent heaps of money on office furniture and occupied our maintenance department for weeks on office re-modeling. When we asked for a few hundred dollars worth of stuff that will help us work efficiently , he started complaining about excees spending !!!!

That's just one example of his administrative style.

Other jerks are stil doing what they do best ( or worst)

Jerk #1 asks me as usual if I needed help !!!! There is tonnes of work and I don't understand why he wants to help ME !! Every one of us handles one job , unless someone asks another for help , everyone picks a job and finsih it.

This guy asks to help and I say NO.
He asks the other guy, and that guy tells him to do a certain job.
OK ... He comes back to me and asks me about items I am USING already. He needs them for his job !!! I point at another part of the facility and show him that he could work THERE and use THOSE tools for his job. He said : No !!! They are not complete ... Something is missing.

Can't this guy try to find that stuff elsewhere ???

So, I threw everything from my hand, took whatever part of the job I have finsihed to the next guy ( in another room ) and promised him I will bring the rest tomorrow. I just cannot work when jerk #1 is around.

I carried my bag and left !!!
My blood pressure must have reached a new high !!
Posted by: Chisel

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/25/11 05:29 PM

After reading the other thread ( mental health first aid ) I was thinking about mental first aid for myself. Sometimes I come back home after being really pissed off by our jerks, add a rash in the thighs, and fatigue , you get the picture. When I come home the little daughter wants something, the boy hasn't done what I asked him to do 2 days ago, and mom is compalining about something while my parents are upset (on the phone) why I didn't visit them for so long.

It is alot of pressure and its hard to keep calm and thoughts organized,. Sometimes I don't even have the peace of typing these posts without 2 or 3 interuptions.

I have managed to reduce my anger , but still I want to be able to handle myself better plus be able to diffuse other family problems while being totally depleted myself.

Any ideas on mental survival ?
As usual , many thanks to all of you .

Posted by: Mark_R

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/25/11 05:56 PM

Originally Posted By: Chisel
Any ideas on mental survival ?
As usual , many thanks to all of you .



When I find myself ready to scream, I've found that an activity that involves applying violence helps immensely. I'm not suggesting you go out and start a brawl, but a 60 lb punching bag, a trip to the batting cages, or a trip to the shooting range has helped me immensely. Barring that, sic a babysitter on the kids go for a hike or at least get away from people for a couple of hours. Leave the cell phone at home or at least, turn it off.
Posted by: Chisel

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/25/11 06:22 PM

Thanks but some are easier said than done.

A hike, for example, is not always possible or the best choice . Someone will say it is a great idea and offer/suggest to come with me, and if I say no, she will ask why not ??? I really don't want to go through such an arguement.

However, I agree in general about ways and means to relief stress and anxiety.

Dare I add something ?
... err.. can I say this ??

ahem... SEX, is a great relief .. sometimes.
Nothing like a few sizzling moments , and sleep.
Hope I didn't violate any rules !


Sometimes, awful things like news .. yes, awful news, can help. Just look at people in war torn countries or refugess surrounded by drought and war... This makes you realize your problems are nothing compared to problems of many others
Posted by: chaosmagnet

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/25/11 06:41 PM

I wrote this in June, posted at http://forums.equipped.org/ubbthreads.ph...true#Post225153 .


1) Attack the problem. This works with some problems (Work due soon: Get work done. House is a mess: Clean it up. Etc.) but not with other things (Family member is a sponging good for nothing).

2) Improve the state of the mind by working on the body. Food, exercise, sleep, and time alone with my wife are my favorites (not in that order).

3) Improve the state of the mind by working on the heart. Time with kids, wife and friends does this for me.

4) Improve the state of the mind by working on the mind. Work (sometimes), reading, video games, Internet fora, time alone to think (often combined with exercise), shooting (practice, training, competition).

5) Relaxation with retail therapy. Sometimes making a Costco run is therapeutic even if I'm just shopping for groceries. It seems to satisfy the hunter/gatherer in me.

6) Turning the mind off with TV, movies, and passive Internet surfing (distinct from contributing to fora).

7) Turning the mind off with beer, wine or liquor.


Note that booze, retail therapy and food can cause more problems than they temporarily alleviate. Drinking, spending and/or eating myself into drunken fat insolvency isn't as amusing as it used to be when I was younger.
Posted by: Susan

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/25/11 10:54 PM

Sometimes I use a herbal calming remedy, valerian, available OTC.

It just calms, it doesn't make you sleepy or interfere with working or driving.

Either it really does work, or the placebo effect works!

Some people also take up running/jogging for the reasons you have mentioned, so they don't have to take out irritation on people at home (even if they haven't done what you told them to do).

Sue
Posted by: hikermor

Re: Jerks in our life - 10/26/11 12:23 AM

I usually commute by bicycle. It is a great way to energize going in to the job, and a great way to blow off steam after a trying day.