I turned down The Colony yesterday.

It's been an interesting weekend at the Blasthold. Along with me and the DW celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary, I spent a bunch of time talking with the producers of "The Colony". One of my students will probably be on it and she told the producers about me. The producers looked up my blogs, forums posts, and a few other projects that I'm involved in then asked if I wanted to be on the show.

Unfortunately, I'd have to leave work for ten weeks (not to mention be shut away from my family) and the $8k-10k they'd pay me wouldn't replace my lost job. I guess that's why all the scientists and engineers on these shows are retired.

Alas, turning fear and dread into fame and fortune is difficult.

-Blast

It would have been wild to see you on there, but the commitment they're asking for is pretty ridiculous. The 10 weeks is rarely ever ten weeks. There is sometimes a commitment to do interviews and advertisements beyond the scheduled shoot.

This type of thing seems to come up from time to time. I think I remember something about a wildlife show as well. Is doing a show something you're interested in?

... not to mention that the fame and fortune would most probably lead to drug-use and a series of affairs that would likely destroy your marriage, followed by a long series of low-budget reality TV shows.

That is why I choose to stay here in my debris hut where it is safe. I'm almost done with my manifesto!

I'd have offered to go in your place. But alas, methinks my attitude about defense would preclude me from prime time. Too many dead "would be" invaders on the set tends to spoil the scenario I reckon.

For similar reasons I can't do the "Survivor" series. They'd find us at the beginning of day two with all the other competitors' throats cut while they slept. "Hey, no one else left, I win, right?"

Ben and Blast are fundamentally scientists: they believe that there is objective truth, and that it is discovered by the scientific method, empiric observation of the world. They are in this respect different from those who are fundamentally lawyers, who believe that truth is subjective, and is best discovered by the dialectic method, through debate between advocates of different aspects of the truth, adjudicated by an impartial authority.

Which is why we love Blast and Benjammin, and rely upon their wisdom.

The upside of taking a leave of absence from work and participating in a network show would be the potential for moving blogging the borderlands and ETS further on to the national stage, and thereby increasing the readership and economic viability of both websites. Perhaps a spinoff show, or Blast on Oprah, Leno, and Meet the Press, maybe a Blast action figure.

Too awful to contemplate. I support your decision to forego this honor.

The downside would involve Blast having to deal with countless clones of the Pacifica Network lady, and the damage that would result.

Even if it did result in a career change offer for Blast, the new career would probably not include performing experiments so dangerous that they have to be encased in concrete: he would miss it too much.

Congratulations on your anniversary, I forgot we were married on almost the same day (but not to each other).

If they would settle for a engineer with an "intuitive grasp of all things electrical and mechanical - and utter lack of social skills" just let me know.

8 to 10 K is appallingly low.

Series talent for successful shows can expect 10-40K a WEEK.

Even shows with less than fantastic ratings can pull 5K a week. They don't deserve good talent if they are that cheap.

Not low at all for a reality show, the "talent" is non-union and if I'm not mistaken isn't there also a prize given at the end of the show?

$1000 a week with some potential upside. That's not a bad wage given that all of your expenses would also be covered.

How much do you think the contestants on American Idol are making?

Or the fishing crews on Dangerous Catch?

There's talent, and there's reality television, not even in the same ball park money-wise. That goes for crew pay too, I've worked on reality television shows, the pay sucks as do most of the shows.

JohnE

You never know, Blast could get his own show and then debunk everything Bear Grylls does, with his own flare of course.

I could do that. I have LOTS of flares.

-Blast

Why am I not surprised?

I think I would buy the Blast series! Explosions! Accidents! Scars! Fun! Explosions!

And don't forget cheerleaders:D and overly friendly European-style sunbathers!:D

-Blast, who leads an awesome life

Wish they offered you more, would've been great to see you on the show. Then again, productions tend to take advantage of non-union people and from the looks of the show too many accidents can happen. Wouldn't be worth it to get injured and have them screw you over. Good call.

Now I want to see the episode where Blast clears the warehouse of stray cats by multipliable blasts of explosives.

Produce your own show and sell it to the Discovery Channel.

The BLAST Show: Do NOT Do This at Home!

I see it as sort of an intensified Mythbusters that leans heavily toward explosives and other dangers.

Possibilities:
Survival Fishing with Dynamite
Building Your Own Underground Shelter with Dynamite
Hunting With Dynamite
Various Explosives Used for Providing Firewood When You Don't Have a Chainsaw, Axe or Saw
Detonation of Zombie Hordes

Etc.

Sue

CONGRATULATIONS on y'all's 12th Wedding Anniversary Blast and Kuovonne!!!!!!!!!

Blast, congrats on the anniversary! A friend of mine, upon reaching his 25th told his wife that the first 25-year contract was done, from then on it was going to be on a year-to-year basis.

Sorry that you couldn't take advantage of the show opportunity. But's let's hear the truth, the real reason you turned them down was the scenario about saving your fellow colonist's cat by giving it an emergency bath... I might have actually watched the show if I knew you were going to be on it.

It's difficult to overstate what a good idea this is.

Make it so!

But only if no cats are harmed!

Whereupon she married up?


;-)

No distractions while you are handling the hot stuff, PLEASE!

So, Blast, would you let me put holes in things before you blew them up, or would it be a race to see if you can make it disappear before I can draw a bead?

Do they need a guy who will beat sense into the sci-geeks who are really smart but have no common sense? I so, I would do it.

I'll even leave my cat at home.

Wow. No wonder there are so many of those shows. I had no idea that they pay so poorly. Cheap jerks.

Apply here.
-Blast

I went ahead and applied. I am afraid they will take one look at my traffic here and conclude that I would make the show into something other than what they had in mind...

We shall see.

In the first season the veteran and mechanical engineer Vladmir Beck experimented with building mines. He and other "Colonists" had plenty of ideas regarding defense, which eventually went beyond their machetes, maces and axes to a working flame thrower and taser.

The problem is that these defense measures were put on the back burner initially so that they could focus on food and a clean water supply. Not to mention that the colonists were initially forced to stay awake and went through constant physical activity before the show even started as part of the simulation.

In any case, the creators, producers and writers of the show get to watch you 24/7. No matter how masterful your plans or what you build for defenses, their ever-presence will be translated into intel for the bad guys. They also have the luxury of knowing the set far better than the players ever will so there will be ways around your defenses no matter what you do. They also have the ability to "script in" things to make your precautions backfire on you.

With all the talk on the web during and after the first season, I would expect there to be a security and defense specialist this season.

Hmm, that sounds like a challenge. I wonder how smart they would really be...

"Hey Ben, what are you doing with that old microwave and that aluminum foil and that drain pipe?"

"Just looking for a field expedient way to roast hot dogs once we get power back and I can charge the batteries, nothing else to see here. Move along, move along..."

or better still, and more to Blast's MO...

"Uh guys, I'm not sure what those two liquids will do when mixed, but it might not be good"

"Don't worry, we've done this before. We know what we're doing. It's just to clean the windows with so we can get more daylight in building, nothing else to see here, Move along, move along..."

LOL

OK, if any of us was to be on this thing, I would have to get cable back.

Most of us would walk on with an evil grin and never take it off.

I heard that story on their 30th anniversary, only his passing parted them. We should all have marriage contracts that sucessful.

Hey What about a Blast show on how to handle cats? Should be pretty interesting, based on his past experience.

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said that she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of hundred-dollar bills totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, 'my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him twice in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'That explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'

'Oh,' she said, 'That's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

Susan -- that is hysterical!!

Thanks.

:-)

This:
http://intotheborderlands.blogspot.com/2007/10/tom-s-ftw.html
is the secret to a long and happy marriage.

Maybe you should see if you can negotiate more...on both sides. The job and the show.

I'm sure there are some ETS caps to wear... or shirts... or knives!

Blast on the Colony. Oh good God that would be hysterical.