Just venting.....

Posted by: Susan

Just venting..... - 07/29/09 04:08 PM

My ex-SIL is dying of metastisized boned cancer, same as OBG had. Hospice has been involved for some time, as she has been living at home (hospice = less than 6 months to live). Her condition has deteriorated rapidly of late, and yesterday she was put in the hospital to drain excess fluid out of her abdomen.

The day before, her husband, possibly the biggest piece of excrement in existence, beat her badly with his cane. Can you imagine a guy beating up a dying old woman??? Her daughter was there and had to call 911 to get him stopped.

SIL refused to press charges AGAIN, as when she has done so in the past, as soon as he gets out of jail, he comes back and beats her up again for having her arrested.

Well, she's not coming out of the hospital. The doctors are putting her in the terminal cancer ward.

If I were her, I would have shot the SOB, very slowly, one body part at a time... Only when the police were breaking down the door would I let him have the coup d' grace. She wouldn't live long enough to see a trial.

I hope that nasty, ugly maggot dies painfully, and I hope it takes him a long time.

Oh, and he also gets her house and her insurance.

I will never understand people, EVER!
Posted by: UncleGoo

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 04:33 PM

I'm sorry, Sue. Maybe, one day, he'll get his.
Posted by: Kukulkan

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 04:41 PM

Why do you say he gets the house and her insurance? If she is still alive, she should be able to draft a new will and change the beneficiaries on her life insurance. Of course, if she wants her husband to get the house and benefits, that's the end of the story.
Posted by: Doug_Ritter

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 04:49 PM

Originally Posted By: Susan
I will never understand people, EVER!


I'm with you there. <~>

Very sorry to hear about the situation. I understand how incredibly frustrating it can be to watch such things occur and be unable to do anything. BTDT. :-(

One can only hope that in the end, everyone must answer for their actions. Unfortunately, that's cold comfort for those who have to deal with them or suffer because of them in the real world.
Posted by: tomfaranda

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 05:02 PM

How old are these people - is it possible he's suffering from dementia?

And - I think the daughter could start legal action for the assault.
Posted by: stevenpd

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 05:13 PM

I am also sorry to hear of this situation.

Rest assured, he will get his. What goes around, comes around.
Posted by: KG2V

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 05:39 PM

Originally Posted By: Kukulkan
Why do you say he gets the house and her insurance? If she is still alive, she should be able to draft a new will and change the beneficiaries on her life insurance. Of course, if she wants her husband to get the house and benefits, that's the end of the story.


I know in some states, it's NOT an option - in NY for instance, 1/3rd of the house MUST go to the spouce - and I know there are some laws RE Life Insurance that the spouce has to get some percentage (think 1/2) unless the spouce signs off that they don't want it
Posted by: 7point82

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 05:53 PM

We'll keep you all in our prayers Susan.
Posted by: Todd W

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 05:54 PM

Originally Posted By: IzzyJG99
Good heavens. What goes around comes around.
My thoughts exactly.

Sorry you have to deal with this too Sue.
Posted by: JohnE

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 06:00 PM

If there was a witness to the assault the victim doesn't have to "press charges", if the witness is willing to swear out an affidavit the police can arrest him with or without the cooperation of the victim. Most if not all states have spousal abuse laws that take the burden of "pressing charges" out of the equation, the state prosecutes on behalf of the victim whether the victim wants them to or not.

Having said that, the karmic debt that this guy is building up is unbelievable, don't stoop to his level and seek revenge. I would make sure that the hospital/hospice is made aware of his actions as they can ban him from the premises regardless of his relationship to your SIL.

Everybody gets what's coming to them eventually...
Posted by: benjammin

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 07:44 PM

Um, I have a cane, and I am pretty sure it is bigger and more painful than the one he used to beat her with.

Want me to loan it to you for a while? I don't care if you return it with some dents/stains on it, though if you did, I'd be impressed.
Posted by: Dagny

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 07:54 PM

What a nightmare. Hopefully he will spend eternity in a very hot place. While she is without pain, and him, in Heaven.

Best wishes dealing with this. Don't know what I'd do but would be damned angry, to say the least.



Posted by: LED

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 09:37 PM

Sorry for your stress Susan, what a terrible situation. What makes it even worse is you SIL seems to be suffering physically and mentally, as a chronic abuse victim. Just remember, there's really only so much you can do or feel responsible for. Sucks but thats the way it is.
Posted by: Susan

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 10:14 PM

Oh, yes! She's one of those who just doesn't get the fact that she's as good as anyone. Most seem to be trained into it from childhood, one way or another.

The maggot has already got the house transferred into his name. The insurance, well, it might be changed, but I kind of doubt that it will happen.

The witness daughter is mentally and emotionally handicapped herself, so she wouldn't press charges if you put a million dollars into her hands and a gun to her head.

Well, he MIGHT get what he has coming, but I WANT IT TO HAPPEN RIGHT AWAY, AND I WANT TO WATCH!

What? Vindictive? ME? So do you have a problem with that, or what?

Posted by: kd7fqd

Re: Just venting..... - 07/29/09 11:08 PM

Originally Posted By: Susan
Well, he MIGHT get what he has coming, but I WANT IT TO HAPPEN RIGHT AWAY, AND I WANT TO WATCH!

I'll bring the camera so you can watch his pain over and over again

What? Vindictive? ME? So do you have a problem with that, or what? No ma'am,no problem here



Mike
Posted by: TomP

Re: Just venting..... - 07/30/09 02:39 AM

I have felt for quite awhile that it is ok to wish evil people ill. I don't appologize for it. There is cosmic justice. To not want this justice is unacceptable to me and hoping for it under the right circumstances is proper and moral.
Posted by: JohnE

Re: Just venting..... - 07/30/09 02:53 AM

Interesting, if there is such a thing as "cosmic justice" wouldn't that imply that wishing for it is a waste of time? If it exists it will occur, if it doesn't, then no amount of wishing for it will do any good.

Somebody said once that everybody gets what they deserve and nobody really deserves what they get in life.

Karma just is, one can no more wish for it than one can wish for the moon to rise, it's not always fair and it's surely not always just, it just is.

Whatever else may happen, the man in question has to live with what he is, given how he's been described here, that's pretty good punishment all by itself.




Posted by: dweste

Re: Just venting..... - 07/30/09 03:00 AM

In CA the spousal violence folks with the DA prosecute regardless of what the victim says; it is the State not the victim that prosecutes.

If a senior in CA the elder physical and financial abuse laws are pretty quickly and thoroughly enforced as well.

Might pay to talk to a lawyer-type as well as someone in Adult Protective Services or its equivalent in your jurisdiction.

Posted by: TomP

Re: Just venting..... - 07/30/09 03:10 AM

I agree with your points. I guess that I really wish that my desire for justice would somehow help it happen but I know it doesn't.
Posted by: JohnE

Re: Just venting..... - 07/30/09 05:23 AM

Last word from me on this.

This is the phone number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline

800-799-SAFE (7233)

I would suggest that anyone who knows of someone who is being abused call it.

Posted by: williamlatham

Re: Just venting..... - 07/30/09 12:57 PM

Vent away, that's what were here for. Sorry to hear about it.

Bill
Posted by: samhain

Re: Just venting..... - 07/30/09 01:02 PM

Sorry to hear that Sue.

Hope the nurses on the unit where's she's at blocks his access to the unit.

I've done that many times. If I have any hint that someone may pose a threat to my patient, they ain't getting on the unit.

Posted by: Susan

Re: Just venting..... - 07/30/09 03:36 PM

"I'll bring the camera so you can watch his pain over and over again"

Never thought of that! I LIKE IT!
Posted by: tomfaranda

Re: Just venting..... - 07/30/09 04:19 PM



I know in some states, it's NOT an option - in NY for instance, 1/3rd of the house MUST go to the spouce - and I know there are some laws RE Life Insurance that the spouce has to get some percentage (think 1/2) unless the spouce signs off that they don't want it [/quote]


This only applies if a person dies without a Will; then there is a statutory Will, which differs in each state, that determines by law who gets what. Also, if the house is deeded jointly in both names, that supercedes anything in the Will.

As far as life insurance, the disposition is by beneficiary designation. There's no requirement that the spouse gets anything. The beneficiary designation takesprecedence over anything in the Will. If there is no beneficiary designation, then the life insurance proceeds are distributed by the terms of the Will.
Posted by: KG2V

Re: Just venting..... - 07/30/09 04:27 PM

Not in NY - we just went through this here in NY. We KNEW Mom was going to Die, and Dad go into a nursing home. Money shelter idea - house becomes solely Mom's, she wills it to me. NOPE - in NY, Dad is legally entitled to a 1/3rd share - called "the elective share" is he, or his creditors (up to 5 year look back) wants it
Posted by: sodak

Re: Just venting..... - 07/31/09 01:14 AM

I don't believe in Karma. Take Ben's cane and enjoy yourself.
Posted by: MoBOB

Re: Just venting..... - 07/31/09 01:59 AM

While I am not into violence and the like my mind does drift towards tire slashing, keying, 4 lb engineer's hammer to the body panels. You get the idea; make his life miserable, cost him money and time. I snap back to lucidity when I think of having to deal the law. Sometimes it just stinks we cannot take care of business.