Posted by: Desperado
Survival is still Nature and Nurture - 12/25/08 04:55 AM
As I sit here reflecting on the evening's emergency shopping, I have time to consider the past year as well as the past 13 years. Thirteen years ago, I learned the incredible woman I am married to was pregnant with my first child. She already had a son from a previous "relationship", but for all logical purposes I was and am his father. I adopted him not long after we were married and have raised he and my daughter as I was. It has certainly been a learning experience. One must study and pass a test to drive, but there is only one thing needed to bring a child into the world.
Last May, the young man I refer to on this board as Son #2 came to live with us. He is actually a friend of my son#1 and is realistically a throw away.
At age 5 his "mother" abandoned he and his 3 siblings with an uncle in California. "Dad" learned where his kids were, but left him with the uncle and took he rest "home". At age 14 son#2 witnessed uncle's murder. He then found an 18 year old friend to room with, got a job and paid the bills while going to school.
At age 16 he was found out by the authorities and sent to live with "dad". At 17 "dad" could not afford him and the other 3 siblings plus the two others he had created so he sent son#2 to live in DFW area with maternal grandparents. First day into the stay he met his "mom" again. Two weeks later, maternal grandparents were both killed in an MVA. Son#2 moved in with "mom" and her new family. This is when son#2 and son#1 met at school. I noticed in him a love of the outdoors and the three of us did all the "man" things as a group.
One night son#1 needed to "talk" and I was worried what her name was.
He then took me to a bridge in a linear park by the highway near our home. I was shocked to learn not that someone was living under a bridge, but that it was son#2. He had made an incredible camp, and was having son#1 pick him up for football practice early and up the road. He could then shower and do laundry in the athletic building facilities. son#1 became suspicious and trailed him to his camp.
Come to find out son#2 was kicked out by "mom" some time before and had survived without training under the bridge.
Son#2 now lives with us and will be finishing high school next year.
Long story to get to this, but....
Survival is in the mind. Sure we all lust after the new gadget, but we must remember that the instinct is inside us all. We owe it to ourselves and those around us to work on the skills not just the toys. At 14 could you have handled an apartment in a REALLY bad part of LA, Ca and still gone to school? At 17 could you have made a shelter and continued on after life had handed you all the crap I have written of above?
Yes, with the Will to survive anyone can. The tools just make it easier.
Now I must go finish wrapping the emergency presents for the young man I alluded to in the Merry Christmas thread. I have spoken with his "mom". Seems she didn't have the cash for his Christmas. Oddly enough, I knew just which Indian Casino to call and have her paged at. seems she forgot to pay her cell bill. No money for the kids, but plenty for a gambling party on Christmas eve.
I thank everyone for their time, I just needed to have what we used to call "Choir Practice". OBG I know you know the term.
Last May, the young man I refer to on this board as Son #2 came to live with us. He is actually a friend of my son#1 and is realistically a throw away.
At age 5 his "mother" abandoned he and his 3 siblings with an uncle in California. "Dad" learned where his kids were, but left him with the uncle and took he rest "home". At age 14 son#2 witnessed uncle's murder. He then found an 18 year old friend to room with, got a job and paid the bills while going to school.
At age 16 he was found out by the authorities and sent to live with "dad". At 17 "dad" could not afford him and the other 3 siblings plus the two others he had created so he sent son#2 to live in DFW area with maternal grandparents. First day into the stay he met his "mom" again. Two weeks later, maternal grandparents were both killed in an MVA. Son#2 moved in with "mom" and her new family. This is when son#2 and son#1 met at school. I noticed in him a love of the outdoors and the three of us did all the "man" things as a group.
One night son#1 needed to "talk" and I was worried what her name was.
He then took me to a bridge in a linear park by the highway near our home. I was shocked to learn not that someone was living under a bridge, but that it was son#2. He had made an incredible camp, and was having son#1 pick him up for football practice early and up the road. He could then shower and do laundry in the athletic building facilities. son#1 became suspicious and trailed him to his camp.
Come to find out son#2 was kicked out by "mom" some time before and had survived without training under the bridge.
Son#2 now lives with us and will be finishing high school next year.
Long story to get to this, but....
Survival is in the mind. Sure we all lust after the new gadget, but we must remember that the instinct is inside us all. We owe it to ourselves and those around us to work on the skills not just the toys. At 14 could you have handled an apartment in a REALLY bad part of LA, Ca and still gone to school? At 17 could you have made a shelter and continued on after life had handed you all the crap I have written of above?
Yes, with the Will to survive anyone can. The tools just make it easier.
Now I must go finish wrapping the emergency presents for the young man I alluded to in the Merry Christmas thread. I have spoken with his "mom". Seems she didn't have the cash for his Christmas. Oddly enough, I knew just which Indian Casino to call and have her paged at. seems she forgot to pay her cell bill. No money for the kids, but plenty for a gambling party on Christmas eve.
I thank everyone for their time, I just needed to have what we used to call "Choir Practice". OBG I know you know the term.
