The Worst Moment of My Life (A Real Preps Test)

Long Post Warning!

Yesterday around noon I was sitting at my office considering writing a post about my experiences on 9/11/2001, which is what got me thinking about emergency preparations in the first place.

As I started to compose the post, my phone rang, and it was the babysitter telling me she thought my 15-month old son had a fever. I asked her to take his temperature, which she did, calling me back to tell me it was 102.4. No problem, I thought, and told her to give him 1.5 teaspoons of children's motrin and that he'd probably go take a long nap.

Five minutes later she called back and told me she was a bit uncomfortable because my son just did not "look right." OK, no problem. I called the pediatrician to get a sick visit, with the intention of sending the babysitter over there with my son.

As I was on hold with the doctor's office, my phone rang again. Now she said she was scared, and as we were talking said something I hope no parent ever has to hear, "Oh my God, his breathing is not right. His lips are turning blue!"

My heart nearly burst out of my chest as I said, as calmly as I could, “hang up the phone and call 911. Call me back when you get to the emergency room.” I have never felt so helpless and powerless in my life. I was 20-miles away and though I did not know what was wrong with him, I feared that my son's life was in the hands of his babysitter and whoever responded to the 911 call.

I have a small advantage in that I volunteer with our local ambulance squad, and I intended to press that advantage for all it was worth. I immediately called the chief of our department on his cell phone and told him he was about to get toned out for my son, and to please take good care of him. The chief was unfortunately out of the district and could not get to my house, but he worked his phone for all it was worth – half the ALS techs in the department were on the road before the tones went off.

The police arrived at my house very quickly and put my son on oxygen. Rescue arrived a few minutes later. One tech I spoke with described my son's condition as “extremely lethargic,” and another said he was “unresponsive,” and he remained that way all the way to the hospital. The Nassau County Police Department and the City of Long Beach Police went all out to help my son, and shut down the roads between my house and the hospital, giving the ambulance a full escort to the emergency room. The babysitter called my cell phone on their arrival, and I gave the ER my son's medical history and permission to do whatever they thought was necessary to help him.

By the time I arrived at the hospital about 45 minutes later (my company kindly provided me with a livery car and driver to get to the hospital, as I commute by public transportation)), the doctors had determined that he most likely had suffered a febrile seizure, though one of somewhat unusual duration. While very scary, febrile seizures are not uncommon, and generally cause no long-lasting damage (other than that once you've had one, you are more likely to have another). They are caused by a rapid change in body temperature, and kids usually outgrow them by age 7 or 8. Relieved, I went to comfort my very unhappy toddler (he had two IV sticks and a urinary catheter) and keep him occupied for the three hours they wanted to observe him. He's been doing fine today, and seems like himself, though himself with a fever.

So, what did I learn?

First, the bad:
- Nothing prepares you for hearing that your kid may not be breathing, and will be going to the hospital in an ambulance. It was honestly the most terrifying moment of my life, and I've been through some bad stuff (like hiding under a car to escape raining debris on 9/11/01)

- While it worked this time, it would be better if the ER did not have to contact me for permission to treat my son. We need to have signed permission to treat forms for the babysitters, and keep them somewhere obvious.

- I would be happier if the babysitter had called 911 on her own initiative, but in general I think she did well with the situation.

Now the good:
- Our babysiter was really in touch with how my son was doing. She noticed his fever, correctly identified that something was not right, and called for help when she needed it. She was great on the trip to the hospital (she was strapped to the gurney holding my son) and trying to keep him calm in the ER before I could get there.

- The local emergency services and hospital were top notch. While I expected the best from the ambulance, as I know them, I was particularly impressed by the police and hospital. When informed by radio that an ambulance was inbound with a very sick child, the head of emergency medicine made his way to the ER to personally treat my son.

- I managed to stay relatively calm. I made the phone calls I needed to make, and rationally gave information to people who needed it.

What we'll be doing differently:

- I'm going to make a “medical go-envelope” for each of my kids. It will contain all of my and my wife's contact information, signed permission to treat forms, medical histories, and insurance information. It will be conspicuously posted near the door so that whomever is home can grab it on the way to the hospital in an emergency.

- I'm going to have a formal debrief with the babysitter to let her know how much we appreciate her work, and give some suggestions for the future (like taking the initiative to call 911 if she's scared. She's a nursing student, so I know that she knows what to do, I just think she'd never been confronted with a real emergency before and got scared.).

I hope some of you can learn something from this experience. In the end, my son received excellent care, and he's going to be fine, even if his mom and dad aged about ten years in the course of a few minutes.

Considering you, medically trained & the father, also discounted the babysitter's first two calls, I'd say she did a darn fine job. Yea, she could have dialed 911 before you the third time, but I'd suspect your council got in the way of her judgement. Perhaps a "something to do differently" bullet item would be not to dismiss the babysitter/nurses judgement.

This is not a personal attack by any means. But thinking about this in the third person, it is something we can all learn from.

Wow, scary. I'm glad everything worked out okay!

You mention pre-signed medical consent forms. Is there an actual form for this or do you just write on a peice of paper "Please do whatever is necessary" and sign the bottom? Does it need to be witnessed/notarized? I'd really like to know the proper way to do this.

-Mark

That's a heart-stopping post. Very glad to hear a positive outcome.

I think your babysitter is a gem.

If I may suggest:

1. A big tip (i.e., BIG)

2. A thank you note in the paper for all who stepped in to help

3. A letter of reference for the young lady, describing the event and how her attentiveness and prompt actions made a difference.
This should be the sort of thing she can include (photocopy) with her resume. In a tough job market, this could help make a high quality candidate stand out. She seems like the kind of person I would want as a nurse.

I have twice gotten to the hospital before my son - knowing they would bring him in totally strapped to a backboard with neck support. Both times he was ok (in a flipped convertible and during a wrestling practice). Your post sure brought back those memories. So glad your child is ok. Nothing scarier.

Regarding written consent for your child to be treated - - we asked his pediatrician and checked with an attorney we know and they said pretty much the same thing - - write it up yourself and sign it. In fact, the doc said we didn't really need it because, in the absence of a parent, a hospital will treat a child anyway. Hope somebody here has a link or something to a more official form. My son is 19 now so it's not an issue but others will want to know.

Wow, that is terrible!

I am glad the lilguy is doing better today I can't imagine how you felt being away when you got that call.

I would check with the hospital about the signed forms to makes sure they are accepted or needed if you were not there.

Just because you asked:



Child Care Authorization

Date:

To: Whom it May Concern

The purpose of this letter is to advise you of the authority given to _________________ (“Child Care Provider”) over _______________________________________ (“Minor Children”).

This grant of temporary authority shall begin on _____________ and end on __________, unless terminated earlier by any of the undersigned.

The above Child Care Provider shall have the absolute and final authority to:

1. Seek appropriate medical treatment or attention on behalf of the Minor Children as may be required by the circumstances, including but not limited to, medical doctor and/or hospital visits.
2. Authorize medical treatment or medical procedures in an emergency situation.
3. Make appropriate and necessary decisions regarding clothing, bodily nourishment, and shelter.
4. Explain absences from school; pick Minor Children from school.
5. Sign release forms for sports and field trips.

Thank you for your understanding, cooperation and prompt adherence to this authorization.


Yours very truly,


________________ _________________ _________________
Parent 1 Parent 2 Child Care Provider


________________
Names of Children;
Social Security Numbers, if available



add or delete Items

Wow. I'm very glad to hear that he's going to be OK.

Thanks Al!
-Blast

Great form.

One thing I didn't mention in my post - my son's doctor said that if you write and sign a consent form, be sure to include dental care along with medical care. Apparently there has been some confusion/debate about that. So, if your child breaks a tooth, a dentist might be hesitant to treat it with a consent form that only specifies medical care.

Goatman,

I don't take it as a personal attack. I critiqued everyone else who played a part, I should be subject to the same. It's how we learn.

That said, I'm not sure how I could have done much different, in terms of the babysitter's judgement. I feel like I trusted her judgement completely about the initial fever (told her to take temp. and give motrin), about him seeming very sick (started to get him appointmtent with pediatrician), and finally about him being in distress (call 911 now!). I'm thinking about the situation if I'd been home:

1) Kid has a fever. Well, this happens all the time. I take his temperature, and if he indeed has a fever I'll give him some children's motrin. So far so good.

2) Kid seems to be getting worse. This, too, has happened before. Normally, our pediatrician does not want to see the kids until they've had a fever for three days, or they seem, "really sick." In this case, he seemed "really sick" so I tried to send him to the doctor.

3) Kid has trouble breathing / turns blue. Thanksfully, this has never happened before, but I assume I'd be on the phone calling 911 PDQ.

I'm not sure I'd have called 911 any sooner if I'd been in her shoes.

What do other parents think? Did I not recognize the situation quickly enough? Should we have gone to 911 as soon as she thought that he "didn't seem right"?

We use a form given to us by the au pair agency we use. I'll see if I can find a copy online. We have also filled out a form at our pediatrician's office giving them permission to treat our kids regardless of who brings them in. They provided the form.

Here's one very similar to the one we use: Consent to treat a minor child

I hope that helps, and that you never need to use it!

It sounds like you responded appropriately to me. I guess a significant factor would be how well you know the sitter. I've learned over the years that no matter how insignificant my children's symptoms appear to be & no matter how incapable my wife is of verbalizing what she thinks is wrong, I should stop and pay close attention when she tells me something isn't right.

As mentioned before, babysitter deserves a HUGE tip.

I have distributed hundreds of free "Vial of Life" vials to our local CERT members. Many members have distributed vials to other people. Each vial resemble a large pill bottle and contain medical info forms for each member of the household. The vial is stored on the top shelve of the refrigerator and a VIAL OF LIFE sticker is placed on the upper outside corner of the refrigerator. The emergency responders are trained to look for these type of stickers. The vial are provided thru a major hospital.

I implemented a binder program based on a previous thread. Each family member has a colored binder with all their important medical, school and personal information. The file holds business card sleeves for all our specific doctors or attorneys, urgent cares,etc.

This seems a good place to put said consent form and leave the folder on the kitchen table. If the sitter can get to an urgent care, the binder has the biz card from the one the child has already been to. Plus all the childs medical situations. Grab and go.

WOW! I had to skip to the bottom first just to make sure all was well before going back and reading the whole thing!

I'm glad it worked out. You make some valid points. I'll have to do some re-eval as well.

Thanks for posting. I couldn't be that much easier re-telling than when you went through it.

great points! She was very responsive and acted responsibly. She's a gem.

Since she is a student , maybe you could buy her book(s) next semester or pay for one of her classes. That would be a huge tip!

I think you reacted appropriately for a parent, and I'm super happy the little guy is okay. I was in a similar situation this winter, staffing a shelter for families who lost their homes in an apartment fire. 6 month old baby, mother, no English, mother begins to get frantic, another client (a 10 year old) translates he is acting very sluggish. All the kids in the shelter have the same cold. We run the shelter, we have no medical expertise to apply here, we treat as per the mother's distress - we call 911. I go out to the end of the parking lot to wave down the Medic One with my flashlight (with included red light filter...) I hear sirens, but they stop somewhere a couple blocks away. After a few minutes, two fire fighters come over the hill on foot, on the run, carrying 30 lbs of gear. Their rig was stopped on another call 2 blocks over, they got our call right after, and they split off and hoofed it as fast as they could to get to us. Man, did I feel proud of those guys - literally coming on the run to help a child, who ended up being okay (but they transported him anyway).

Basically kids can change so quickly as you have seen, it doesn't hurt to 'over-react' for fever, or a bump on the head, or a knock to the mid-section (bleeding). Better safe than sorry.

Jesselp,

My blood pressure rose just reading that harrowing account of your son's emergency.

Kudos to you, the babysitter and all the emergency and hospital personnel who came through for your son.

Certainly puts mundane daily pressures into perspective. Life can turn on a dime, good and bad.

Best wishes to you all.

I'm glad to see that the outcome was positive. Great reactions from all involved!

As a Dad of 3 girls I can tell you from experience that you did great, as well as the Sitter! Kids decompensate very quickly, I can't think of a thing you could have done differently. Nice job for both of you.

First, "well done" to all involved. Second, thank you for posting this experience for us to learn from. Third, as to consent to treat, generally, state statutes authorize any necessary emergency treatment if no parent is available. YMMV.

More minor or routine care is actually more problematic. Babysitters who are themselves minors may have a bit more trouble, as well. The consent forms shown aren't bad, but notarization is the gold standard. The form itself should mention both emergency and routine care authority, if, for example, you might need your babysitter to take your kid in for a dentist's appointment when you're running late. It should also state your acceptance of financial responsibility, and include your own full name, SSN, DOB, address, etc., as well as your child's. It should also have at least two adult relatives' and your pediatrician's full contact information.

On a separate page, include a full medical history, meds, and allergies, since these things do change. Then, attach a photocopy of your DL or other ID and your insurance card.

Does your babysitter know infant/child CPR and first aid? Where your fire extinguisher is and how to use it? Your address and telephone numbers by memory? Who to call for help if you can't be reached for some reason, other than 911?

... and let her department know what a fine job she did.

Edited to Add: Since you're already in the field, perhaps it would be a nice thing to take her to meet everyone else that participated in the incident. She'd probably love to see the pre-hospital care environment up close. It's a great time for them to tell them she did a fabulous job.

Your local fire department should have a burn pan (or be able to borrow one ) and you can get her trained in using a fire extinguisher.

Also, American Red Cross and American Heart Association both offer Babysitting classes, but I believe that might be above her level.

I am sure having the contacts to call helped a bit. Yes you did a fine job and so did your baby sitter.

Even if the end result had not been good you still all took the right steps in the right order.

Both Jeff and ki4buc mention the babysitter first aid courses and if she does not have them they are not a bad idea.

Some kind of meaningful reward for the babysitter for sure, but I would also make a point that if the babysitter ever feels there's something "not right" like this again to call 911 and you'll cover it, right or wrong.

Around here it's a $500 fee for an ambulance call, and I suspect insurance (if you have it) applies a "20-20 hindsight" rule: they may not pay for the ambulance if it turns out there wasn't a problem after all. A reliable babysitter should be told to just call 911, and if it turns out it's wrong and costs money, that's OK.

Happy all came out well.

It is always scarry when you hear that your child is not "quite right" not matter what you have been through.

My brother had febrile seizures a couple of times as a kid. I was too young to be all that scared by them (in fact, I was laughing really hard the first time, til my Mom turned around and freaked). Yeah, they can be scary.

Glad she's doing ok!

Glad the babysitter didn't just Facebook it .... (Ok, a little tongue in cheek)

Since she's a RN student, maybe you can arrange some time on the ambulance? It'd be nice if she had some real emergency experiences to fall back on, even though she did pretty good by your account. Lots of RNs are crap in an emergency, since if they never work an ER they'll rarely have one. Help her to not be one of those.