Hello Hunters. Please listen up...

Dear Hunters,

As hunting season is upon us, I know that I'm going to be spending X number of hours in the woods or on the water this January with a SAR team looking for a hunter that went missing at about 4:00 PM, and now it's getting dark and he's kind of overweight and wearing blaze orange and oh please hurry it's so cold and he's not really dressed to spend the night outside....

I also know that most of the time, if he's not lost, we'll find the guy dead of a heart attack, sometimes hanging from a tree by a lanyard, sometime crumbled up at the bottom of a tree stand because he fell out after his heart exploded, sometimes at the top of a hill he just climbed. But long-dead is the typical situation by the time we get there.

I don't really mind dragging a body out of the woods as much as you'd think, but I could do without looking at the wives and the sons and the daughters crying on the side of the road as we put the body bag in the coroner's truck.

If the only exercise you get all year long is three weeks in deer season, please take a moment to realistically assess your fitness level before you hike 4 miles in and try to drag a 150 lb deer out.

Please don't split up from your hunting buddies.

Please carry a GPS and know how to use it.

Please leave your cell phones OFF until you NEED them to call for help (if your phone works where you hunt).

Please carry the basic stuff you need and dress to survive the night with a broken ankle when it is 30 degrees (-1 degree C) and sleeting.

But most of all, please take care of your body.

Maybe this year you skip hunting and take a year to get in shape a bit. Maybe this year you walk a bit more all summer long, visit the woods where you plan to hunt when it's the off-season, perhaps - gasp - put a little muscle mass on.

I'll be out there hunting with you and I hope if I bump into you out there we will have a chance to chat about the hunt, the weather, our guns, our lunch, our kids whatever. I'd rather that than our meeting being because the SAR captain told me where they found your body and it's my turn to help carry.

Martin,

Thanks for the reminder. I just e-mailed your words to my dad to include when he's teaching the Hunter Safety course. Hopefully the kids he's teaching will pass it on to their parents and grandparents.

-Blast

The Deadman At Grandview Point by Edward Abbey

Martin,

Good words, I am a road deputy and recently had to go searching through the woods for a lost hunter. I received the call around 2100 (9pm) it was cold (38F) and raining off and on. This one does not end well as most do not. It was not because of his fitness level or physical problems, it was his educational level and common sense. He hunted with a tree stand and used a single point harness to make sure he did not fall. Well he did not fall very far just enough for it to constrict his chest where he could not breathe. My official investigation cause of death was positional asphyxia. My night ended around 0430 cold, wet and letting a wife know that the father of her children would not be coming home. If you hunt with a tree stand use a full harness not just a lanyard around your chest and keep your knife on you just in case, (I would rather have a broken leg from cutting myself free then the alternative). His was in the bag on the ground he just lowered.

So in conclusion practice what you will be doing, learn about safety (the suffocation hazard about those harness have been known and advertised), and use a little common sense (knife on you not in bag). Sorry I will get off my soapbox now. As Martin said I do not mind pulling you out of the woods (in any condition), I just do not like having to explain it to your family in the end.

A VERY BIG "Amen" on having to notify the family. I was stuck with that duty often as a SAR Controller at Group New Orleans. It really SUCKS a big one!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and expect to get lost.

I've never understood treestands.
In my deer hunting experience, I never saw one in any trees.

They're so the really big ones can't get you.

You just have to look out for the smart deer with the cherry picker.

Thanks for the reminder Martin.

Applies to anyone that ventures out into the forest/fields/water-ways.

I hope your non-human hunting season is a full and happy one, and you human-hunting season is a bit of a bore.

I saw one in a tree once, it was after the Toutle river flood from St. Helens. It was dead, but it was still kinda weird.

Some areas (by county in North Carolina) require you to use a deer stand when hunting with a center fire rifle.

the reasons for tree stands is 1)You see further, and deer tend NOT to look UP

On that subject: If your going to climb or otherwise bugger about with ropes, harnesses and things Get your self down to your local climbing wall/center. Book yourself on to the beginners course and learn how to do it properly.

Out here in the sticks we have that same negative thought about yuppies.

I replaced your word "HUNTERS" with "JAMES KIM" and I reread the article.

me either

That would apply to all hunters. The reason it's required only for center fire rifles is the muzzle velocity. The coastal areas are relatively flat & a miss can go a long way compared to buckshot, slugs, & blackpowder. You're already shooting toward the ground hunting from a tree stand.

Tree stands were best utilized by a dedicated goup of primitive hunters in upstate NY. Gravity played a big role in their hunting strategy. Feeling that other self-styled primitive hunters- archers, black powder enthusiasts, crossbow persons-had strayed form the cause of true primitivism by adopting in-line shotgun primer ignition systems and multiple geared compound leveraged bows, these doughty folk chose to return to the roots of primitive hunting. They hid in trees, dropped down on passing deer and throttled them with their bare hands. The most dedicated hunted unclothed, though this did present some challenges in wearing the hunting license back tag required by state law. Fortunately, the naked hunters found that the game wardens tended to avoid them anyway, so it never became a problem. As in all primitive pursuits, the movement evolved to tolerate increasing technological "improvement", as hunters began using sharpened sticks, rocks, manufactured tree stands, and, ultimately, clothing. This gutted the core principles of the movement, and it gradually faded away. Mostly. Adirondack deer hunters still occasionally report seeing naked folk perched on branches deep in the wilderness preserve, but the stories are generally dismissed as deer camp legends, or just some of the guys from Fort Drum doing their cold weather survival exercises.

HAHAHA, Outstanding

I agree with dressing for an unexpected night out, though I'm thinking if the guy doesn't want to spend the money on a GPS have him at least buy a cheap whistle and maybe a strobe light.

That's awesome nursemike.

I don't hunt, but when I hike in the woods or anywhere near the woods around hunting season I wear a blaze orange hat.

Just a hat? I won't go out in "the wild" with out my orange vest as well.

Good post, but I just had to comment on the above. Most of the hunters I know don't need to put on any muscle mass. Most of them can bench press a buick. Yeah, they may have a spare tire around their waist, but they do not lack for muscle mass.

exactly.

and why not carry a spare knife?

Great post! So true, too many people heading out not prepared. Then again, for some of those "hunters" that are really just hunting the "rack", I wouldn't mind Darwin getting his share.

I'm still alive.
But so are the deer.