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#159867 - 12/25/08 04:55 AM Survival is still Nature and Nurture
Desperado Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/01/08
Posts: 1530
Loc: DFW, Texas
As I sit here reflecting on the evening's emergency shopping, I have time to consider the past year as well as the past 13 years. Thirteen years ago, I learned the incredible woman I am married to was pregnant with my first child. She already had a son from a previous "relationship", but for all logical purposes I was and am his father. I adopted him not long after we were married and have raised he and my daughter as I was. It has certainly been a learning experience. One must study and pass a test to drive, but there is only one thing needed to bring a child into the world.

Last May, the young man I refer to on this board as Son #2 came to live with us. He is actually a friend of my son#1 and is realistically a throw away.
At age 5 his "mother" abandoned he and his 3 siblings with an uncle in California. "Dad" learned where his kids were, but left him with the uncle and took he rest "home". At age 14 son#2 witnessed uncle's murder. He then found an 18 year old friend to room with, got a job and paid the bills while going to school.
At age 16 he was found out by the authorities and sent to live with "dad". At 17 "dad" could not afford him and the other 3 siblings plus the two others he had created so he sent son#2 to live in DFW area with maternal grandparents. First day into the stay he met his "mom" again. Two weeks later, maternal grandparents were both killed in an MVA. Son#2 moved in with "mom" and her new family. This is when son#2 and son#1 met at school. I noticed in him a love of the outdoors and the three of us did all the "man" things as a group.
One night son#1 needed to "talk" and I was worried what her name was.
He then took me to a bridge in a linear park by the highway near our home. I was shocked to learn not that someone was living under a bridge, but that it was son#2. He had made an incredible camp, and was having son#1 pick him up for football practice early and up the road. He could then shower and do laundry in the athletic building facilities. son#1 became suspicious and trailed him to his camp.
Come to find out son#2 was kicked out by "mom" some time before and had survived without training under the bridge.
Son#2 now lives with us and will be finishing high school next year.

Long story to get to this, but....
Survival is in the mind. Sure we all lust after the new gadget, but we must remember that the instinct is inside us all. We owe it to ourselves and those around us to work on the skills not just the toys. At 14 could you have handled an apartment in a REALLY bad part of LA, Ca and still gone to school? At 17 could you have made a shelter and continued on after life had handed you all the crap I have written of above?

Yes, with the Will to survive anyone can. The tools just make it easier.
Now I must go finish wrapping the emergency presents for the young man I alluded to in the Merry Christmas thread. I have spoken with his "mom". Seems she didn't have the cash for his Christmas. Oddly enough, I knew just which Indian Casino to call and have her paged at. seems she forgot to pay her cell bill. No money for the kids, but plenty for a gambling party on Christmas eve.

I thank everyone for their time, I just needed to have what we used to call "Choir Practice". OBG I know you know the term.


Edited by Desperado (12/25/08 05:03 AM)
_________________________
I do the things that I must, and really regret, are unfortunately necessary.

RIP OBG

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#159879 - 12/25/08 12:42 PM Re: Survival is still Nature and Nurture [Re: Desperado]
oldsoldier Offline
Old Hand

Registered: 11/25/06
Posts: 742
Loc: MA
You've done the noble thing though; as much as it may be more instinctual in some to survive, the basic humanity you show to him is something that, IMHO, is lacking severely among our population. I have a LOT of respect for you to do this for him; I cannot say that I would have done the same; not out of cold heartedness, but I likely wouldve approached the situation differently. Thank you for sharing this, and I sincerely hope that you have a wonderful holiday. I know, for at least one person, you have changed their life forever. Bless you, and all the best to you & yours.
_________________________
my adventures

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#159891 - 12/25/08 02:49 PM Re: Survival is still Nature and Nurture [Re: Desperado]
wildman800 Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 2846
Loc: La-USA
I applaud your sense of right and wrong. That, and your desire to help others in a positive manner!!

I wish you the best!
_________________________
QMC, USCG (Ret)
The best luck is what you make yourself!

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#159892 - 12/25/08 02:52 PM Re: Survival is still Nature and Nurture [Re: Desperado]
Blast Offline
INTERCEPTOR
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 3760
Loc: TX
Wow. On so many levels, just...wow.

-Blast
_________________________
Foraging Texas
Medicine Man Plant Co.
DrMerriwether on YouTube
Radio Call Sign: KI5BOG
*As an Amazon Influencer, I may earn a sales commission on Amazon links in my posts.

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#159911 - 12/25/08 05:11 PM Re: Survival is still Nature and Nurture [Re: Desperado]
m9key Offline
Member

Registered: 05/28/03
Posts: 143
Loc: florida
season for giving nuff said..... you are blessed basic.instructions.before.leaving.earth.......


Edited by m9key (12/25/08 05:14 PM)

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#159915 - 12/25/08 05:50 PM Re: Survival is still Nature and Nurture [Re: m9key]
Jakam
Unregistered


Terrific ending to a tragic set of circumstances.

It speaks well of your son, and your obvious nurture of same, that this had such and ending.

My sister and mother visited the sister's boy in lockdown yesterday, took that to get him on the path, he had it all and couldn't get it together, certainly could have learned from son #2 about adversity and how to respond.

Take care........

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#159918 - 12/25/08 06:37 PM Re: Survival is still Nature and Nurture [Re: Desperado]
Bill_G Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 06/06/08
Posts: 92
I'm with Blast on this - WOW! May your family receive your blessings 10 fold. And enjoy this special day... you'd made it one.

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#159979 - 12/26/08 07:12 AM Re: Survival is still Nature and Nurture [Re: Desperado]
scafool Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 12/18/08
Posts: 1534
Loc: Muskoka
Good. Merry Christmas.

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#160110 - 12/27/08 03:59 AM Re: Survival is still Nature and Nurture [Re: Desperado]
Desperado Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/01/08
Posts: 1530
Loc: DFW, Texas
Well the spare young man we had to emergency shop for was totally surprised and later told sons #1&2 that this was the first christmas he had in three years. This morning he was present when I accidentally pulled the packing out of the possible MRSA wound on my side AFTER my Dr.'s appt. Kid stepped up and helped re-bandage the wound and drove me back to the doc. The packing pulled out. I learned that is a procedure best done AFTER lidocaine not before.
_________________________
I do the things that I must, and really regret, are unfortunately necessary.

RIP OBG

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#160131 - 12/27/08 06:47 AM Re: Survival is still Nature and Nurture [Re: Desperado]
KG2V Offline

Veteran

Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 1371
Loc: Queens, New York City
Originally Posted By: Desperado
...snip... I learned that is a procedure best done AFTER lidocaine not before.


Well, yeah. Most procedures that require going down into the flesh are that way. Has the MD given you any "happy" pills?
_________________________
73 de KG2V
You are what you do when it counts - The Masso
Homepage: http://www.thegallos.com
Blog: http://kg2v.blogspot.com

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