Amper-
You are not alone in having trouble with the whole GMRS licensing deal. Many (myself included) have bought the radios thinking it's a simple, inexpensive process, and it's really not. Myself, I figured the license would be $10-15. Nope, it's 75 like you mentioned.
I'll try to answer your questions:
1) The FCC has not relaxed the requirements, in fact they've made them more strict. Previously, businesses and clubs could get a single license for all their employees/members to operate under. Now, the FCC is only issuing new licenses to individuals. Existing users may be grandfathered. The FCC does enforce the rules, especially when there are complaints. GMRS is similar to Amateur Radio, the users are fairly self-policing. But, it gets harder to enforce the rules when just anyone can walk into wal-mart and buy a radio for $30 and start keying up GMRS repeaters.
2) The FCC is a little fuzzy on this one, but when I bought my radio, planning to use it only with FRS, I still got the license. Since the radio itself is "type accepted" or "FCC Certified" for both services, you should have a license. Chris was correct in stating that if you're under the power limit (actually it's 1/2 watt or 500mW), and sticking to the GMRS Interstitial / FRS frequencies then probably nobody will bother you.
The good news for you is that the $75 license you bought applies basically to your immediate family (related by blood or by law), so you don't need 2 licenses for you and your wife to communicate. Since we're not officially related yet, when my fiance and I talk over them I give her an FRS unit, and I keep the GMRS radio and do all the IDing, etc. Once we're married, she'll get one, too (maybe).
3) The FCC does assign you a callsign, and it takes a couple weeks to get the ticket in the mail, but after you've submitted your application (and fee) you can use a temporary callsign. It's explained at the end of Form 605
http://www.fcc.gov/Forms/Form605/605.pdfSchedule F - Instructions
GMRS: Your temporary call sign will consist of the letters "WT" plus your business or residence telephone number.
4) The FCC site does take some getting used to, but it's replacing several olders systems, some based on paper, some not, so it's still kind of a hack. Just remember that you get a FRN (FCC registration #) kind of like a SSN to uniquely identify you, and then you apply for your license using that #.
I hope this all makes sense.
Keep in mind that in a survival/emergency (safety of life or property) situation, all these rules go out the window. Anyone can use any frequency or output power necessary to summon help. Just be sure it's a real emergency.
Good Luck!
-red_jeep